SD10 AND BD 3months all at once
Thank God I found this site! I am a brand new mom of a beautiful 3 month old girl. A month after she was born my boyfriend and his 10 year old moved in. She drives me absolutely crazy. I'm at my whits end. He calls her baby and treats her like a baby. He doesn't care that she pees on herself or pees the bed. She smells awful and my apartment now smells like pee. She won't even say my daughters name correctly and she says many other words like a toddler and no one will correct her. She has absolutely no grooming standards. She acts up in school. She stares me down all the time. She NEVER tells her dad the truth. He acts completely oblivious to her behavior. As soon as he walks out the door she goes on and on about his ex (not even her mom) She tells me about their physical relationship and how she was prettier than me and so many other things. She's so messy and I end up cleaning up if I want my apartment clean. She is absolutely disrespectful. She has a horrible mouth when her dad isn't around. She also handles my baby very rough and without my permission. I literally cannot set my baby down around her. When she was days old she went and got her out of her bed and was walking around with get like a ragdoll.
I HATE being around her. I don't want my daughter to pick up ANYTHING from her. How do I protect my own child!? Someone please help.
Eviction notice.
Eviction notice.
Agree with helena. Safety
Agree with helena. Safety first and your baby isn't safe around bf's daughter.
I'd like to do a thesis about that pee thing. My ex's son was almost 14, peeing constantly in the bed and always all around but never in the toilet. His half sister by the bm is a hs senior and she pees the bed frequently too. Neither have a medical condition to explain it. Maybe it's a marking territory thing? Lack of parenting? "I can pee the bed because it's too far to the bathroom and mom/dad won't mind. They'll clean up after me too!"
Were you not aware of ANY of
Were you not aware of ANY of these things before they moved in?? It seems hard to believe that every single one of these things just came to your attention (like grooming herself.)
What happened?
If you saw these things beforehand and figured "it would get better," well...you just learned a good life lesson.
I agree with helena. I think
I agree with helena. I think this guy needs to be gone until he can straighten up his parenting act and get SD some help. Obviously, there are some big underlying issues she's struggling with.
I was around her VERY little
I was around her VERY little before they moved in. I was always around her with my bf and around him she is very mellow and quiet. The grooming issue I should have seen as a red flag for sure! I thought maybe it was a phase?? Obviously a horrible assumption! Its so hard to say but Helena is probably right. I think it will destroy my relationship. Which is so sad because he is amazing with our daughter but I would never send her to stay with him because of his older child. He takes wonderful care of us. He is a great dad but I feel like he hates the fight it is with his oldest daughter so he ignores the little things she does in front of him. So no one thinks there is any hope??
Hope for what? Your
Hope for what? Your relationship? Well sure, obviously it was working before you lived together. You do have a kid, which must have meant you were seeing each other prior to them moving in-- though I'm not sure why if you weren't even close enough for you to spend significant time with his daughter. It doesn't matter though. Point is: danger to your child. Appropriate Response: remove danger.
Also, I find this whole situation to be rather hard to believe. There are a lot of bogus stories going around.
Not a bogus story! But
Not a bogus story! But believe as you will. Obviously there is alot more to our situation that I didn't share. Thanks for the input I really do appreciate it. I mostly posted to vent and see if anyone else had dealt with similar. And I will absolutely take your advice to heart.
Thank you! This is what I was
Thank you! This is what I was wondering, how do you stop behaviors like this. Because ignoring her is making it all worse. Maybe she will stop and think if she realizes she won't be getting the upper hand!