What's worse - baby mama drama or ex-wives?
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Just out of curiousity... My parents divorced when I was 11 and both remarried. It was hell, seriously. I am married to DH for 8 months and dated for three years before we married. He has baby mama drama. She, too, is hell.
What's worse in your opinions, ladies?
Both
Each has its own challenges.
Doubt theres much of a
Doubt theres much of a difference, mostly the same issues once a kid is involved.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Actually
I have to agree with Melis. For the most part they are one in the same. The only difference is that if she is just a baby mama she does not share his last name. I refer to ours as Baby Mama even though she was a manipulative Ex-Wife. Basically threatened that they wed or she would take the kids and flee. So in my eyes it really doesn't make her any better for it. The marriage was a sham and was definitely not for love.
I must say that I despise the fact that she bears the same last name. DH fought to have her change it and she cried that she wanted the same last name as her kids. What difference does it make. The same last name means nothing. She still had the kids out of wedlock and in the end she is still not with DH raising them. So, not much difference in my opinion. I think she held on to the name in order to hold on to a piece of him. She still pines over him and is just anxiously awaiting my demise in hopes that she can weasel her way back in. When the truth is DH would rather marry a cross-eye crocodile before ever getting back with her.
So there is no difference to in my opinion.
Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P
I think the exwives are worse
or hard on the relationship at least. When the two were never married they tend to have less years together and less turmoil. Since they don't, usually, work as hard to stay together since they are not married (legally joined).
I also think exwives are worse financially on the new relationship. From what I have seen on this site the xW get CS for a longer time period, sometimes through college, and alimony or half the pension/retirement plans. Fromer GF/BF don't get these things.
But I agree with the others that the problems with the child are generally the same, whether or not the parents were married.
I think it is probably the same.....
There are crazy ass BM's and x-wives..... some x-husbands too.
I think it has more to deal with their level of maturity and ability to let go of the old relationship and move forward.
I think that depends on who has custody Mom or Dad.
My SS has a BabyDaddy that my wife was never married to. Since my wife has custody of my SS BD (BioDad,BabyDaddy) has just about no stroke at all other than to be a major pain in the ass around refusing to follow the court judgement.
Though it is a major PITA for the most part his BullShit is just that ..... BullShit and can be for the most part ignored or mitigated by smacking him around with the judgement or a nasty letter from our attorneys.
In the case of a divorce I think there is potentially far more drama because there is a whole lot more baggage than in an unwed parent situation.
Not that I have experienced a divorce where children are involved.
Just my thoughts of course.
Best regards,
EXWIFES! EXWIVES! EXWIVES!!!!
Walk a day in my shoes and NO ONE would disagree!
I think they are equal. But
I think they are equal. But what the issue really is , Why are they so crazy? No one on here is saying, "God our BM is a treat, what a fantastic person !" It is the same everywhere, what gives all BM to be nuts?
The difference is
Ex-wives have a hard time letting go of what they had (Their marriage). "That used to me mine"
Baby Mamas have a hard time letting go of the fact that they never even got a ring. "That should have been mine"
This is very astute!
I think also some BMs feel they are the only ones entitled to say anything about their kids' parenting - even though it was not an immaculate conception (i.e. there are 2 parents from the start, BMs are not the only ones who have parental rights).
Then if they split, there is another person (SM or SD) who has to watch their children and needs to be authorized to do so. A lot of them hate that the worst it seems, but that is the reality of divorce/breaking up.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Maybe its just that fact
Maybe its just that fact that most BMs are very protective of their children, and many women are very controlling and want the final say when it comes to them. They carried them for nine months so they feel they are more entitled to them. And courts reinforce this thinking. Just a thought. Its obviously going to create conflict, usually, when a BM has to start dealing with a SM, and vice versa. I would be very interested to see what would happen if my ex remarried. He doesn't get to spend a whole lot of time with my son because he is military and lives 7 hrs away, so when he has him he is calling me 3-4 times a day to ask questions. My son is also a little obsessive complusive I think as well, because he wants everything done the same way, ALL THE TIME. So if his dad doesn't do something EXACTLY like I do it, he gets so upset! I think that would be annoying to a new stepmom...its even a little annoying to me!
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"