What would you do?
Would you leave?
Found out a few months ago that one of my stepkids has been s* abusing the other one for years. I have my own toddler and am scared of what could happen to her if I stay here. The stepkid was put into treatment, so he is not around right now. But I worry about what he might to do me and my toddler once he gets out. The other stepkid has also been showing some concerning behaviors that aren't necessarily related to what happened. Been more aggressive towards toddler and things like that.
Some background: husband rarely kept up on them and the things that they were doing/not doing. They would get into things that they shouldn't be getting into, and he wouldn't notice/care/say anything to them unless I asked him to. He also didn't care to check up on their schoolwork and grades except for when they brought report cards home. He knew the one stepson had issues, thinking it was just normal teenage issues, but still didn't try to do anything about it.
Let his family undermine his parenting and never did anything when they told the stepkids to do the opposite of what their father told them. Told the kids they didnt have to listen to me either. Always made excuses for his family.
Yes, I'd leave
As hard as it is to be a single mom, I'd leave for the sake of your toddler. You won't be able to trust either of these disturbed SKs around your child. Your DH has demonstrated he won't help you. I'm sorry.
Oh, Emma!
Oh, Emma!
I've been reading your posts since 2017 and conclude that your husband has never parented his boys; he bullied you into being their primary caretaker! It's no surprise that, without paternal supervision or discipline, they've gone off the rails. Hon, your first responsibility as a mom is to keep your daughter safe. I can guarantee that remaining in the dysfunction of your current home life, particularly if/when the older boy returns, will create a dangerous environment for both your little girl and, possibly, for yourself.
Doing the right thing is often difficult but, in this case, leaving that unsavoury trio is your only reaonable option.
Thank you! It's hard to
Thank you! It's hard to believe that someone remembers me from that long ago. There were a lot of red flags that I should have paid attention to over the years with husband. There was always some excuse of why he never really did anything with them or parented them beyond their basic needs. too tired, just got home from work, depressed, etc. Should have realized sooner that it is just who he is. As for older SS (the one who SA the other one), there was also some red flags with him that should have been dealt with at the time. He clearly had anger issues, always felt like he hated me, I was uncomfortable around him but couldn't figure out why. Should have realized there was a bigger problem when I found that he had the baby monitor in his room and the cameras were in toddler's room where I also slept. That made me really uncomfortable around him. There were other things that he did over the years as well.
The current plan is for him not to return here and to go live with his mother instead. But even with that, I am still afraid. There is nothing stopping him from finding his way back up here and trying to do something to me (and toddler). He hates me and blames me for him getting caught.
One important thing...
...to remember is that your other SS is also a potential danger to your daughter. Some will go on to perpetrate the same abuse that was inflicted upon them. Are you willing to take the risk with your daughter? Remember, you are all she has.
Yes!
I would leave because I would do anything to protect my child. I was sexually abused as a child. My mom did nothing. I do not see myself as a victim, but a warrior for change.
Please protect your daughter, you are all she has got. Please protect yourself. I'm sorry you are in this position, I care.
I wouldn't let anyone like
I wouldn't let anyone like that around my dog,
You have to protect your child
That's a mothers responsibility. DH can't parent his kids. Once these kids get a taste of abusing people they don't stop. Treatments is not going to do any good. Maybe for the first two days. You must keep SS away from your bio child. Leaving is the only way
You need to leave, but you need to do it carefully.
You need to leave, but you need to do it carefully. If you divorce DH and he gets visitation, then your child will be around SS and DH probably won't be paying any attention to what is going on. You need to consult a lawyer now, and figure out a plan so that DH does not have unsupervised visitiation.
I would lock it all down with a PO and keep the perve the hell
I would lock it all down with a PO and keep the perve the hell away from my child, my joe, and my family.
Daddy can see his mollesting spawn somewhere else. If he tolerates that kid around any other of his children he is as much of a problem as his his pervert mollesting spawn.
Take it out of failed daddy's hands and keep it fully in the hands of the authorities, LEOs, Judges, etc.... Press charges.
If you are leaving then leave the State and file for divorce in your new State.
Id leave
Honestly, get thee to a lawyer.