I have not been here in a while, with a toddler and a baby it has become almost impossible. But I just need to let some stuff O.U.T. - both good and bad:

Here goes:
1. DH has FINALLY traded in his sporty, luxury car that had both his and Ex-wife's name on it. (His name was solely on the car she drove, and he needed her to co-sign in order to get a loan for his car, even though she never used it). Anyway, WE bought a mini-van that fits everyone.

My name is on it as purchaser and DH is co-signer, even though he's the one mainly driving it, because my credit is better. DH was depressed for some time, and even had the nerve to get pissed at me because I started to do things which an OWNER would do for his/her car. I felt so great about finally owning something again, I felt very much that I had a great say in anything about the car, and this really pissed him off apparently, because he felt like he was losing control. Wow. Thankfully he has gotten over it.

2. Now that I am really part-owner of our car, it is amazing how much a simple sentence from SD, "I'm going in my new car," pissed me off. I was stupid enough to ask her, "Your car???" To which she answered, "Daddy's car," which pissed me off even more. Silly of me, yes, but again the ONLY reason we could have gotten a car to fit all of us was because of ME, sucks to feel such a sense of ownership of something and not be acknowledged for it.

3. My SD is L.A.Z.Y. She was taking up prime couch space watching a movie she has already seen and doesn't really care to see again while glued to her cell-phone. SS, who was really into the movie, had paused it to help me with baby. Toddler interferred with the movie and restarted it. SD could not get up off her lazy A$$ and put down her phone for 2 seconds to move toddler out of the way and re-pause the movie. I got sooooo mad. I told her off, using the word "butt" instead of "a$$" and asked her to please leave the room, which she did with zero expression on her face. When DH came out, he took away her phone for about 5 minutes, which is pretty much no punishment, but at least it is a step in the right direction.

4. My SS actually said these words, "I wish I still had my pacifier, I loved it, I used to suck on it for hours." He is almost 12.

5. I absolutely H.A.T.E. going shopping with stepkids. Not going with them to get stuff for them, but going shopping in general and having them tag along. I never feel comfortable to look at what I want and buy what I want.

6. DH went to open-house instead of BM this year, and guess what, grades are up! SD's actual words, "I lazed in 7th grade, but now I am kicking it up a notch." Because DH is in touch with all their teachers and actually nags them about schoolwork now. When I asked SD about a subject she got a B in so that maybe she can do some revision to make sure she understood it, she told me she doesn't need to. DH acknowledged my willingness to help, and told SD that since she doesn't need help, that grade better be an A next grading period.

7. I don't usually drink. One Friday evening I drank a rum and Coke just before the stepkids arrived. It was AMAZING how much easier it was. I was relaxed. I smiled at all the inconsequential stuff they had to report. I asked, "Oh really?!" to all that they said and was able to really fake enthusiasm and happiness at their arrival. It was scary. I don't want to be the kind of person who has to drink to deal with them though. The next weekend, when they arrived I stepped on the treadmill and let them let it out on DH, and then retreated to a nice shower. Now, when they arrive, "me time" begins, and I let them bubble over to DH and their siblings. Waaay better than resorting to alcohol, for me.

8. BM is doing on-the-job training. We know what she's doing but, no info about where she works and what she's earning. DH doesn't want to ask. But she's working weekends and so there is NO fighting about her wanting to keep them on weekends.