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jesslynne's picture

(I posted part of this in a comment in another post of mine, but am looking for some thoughts so figured I would give it its own topic...)

UGGGGH just got another message via *facebook* from BM - now she wants us to keep him 25% of the time. Now I'm not saying I wouldn't love to have SS more- I love that boy to death and would love to keep him full time if she wanted that- but we cannot afford to pay her CS and take extra days off of work every month and pay for caring for SS on those extra days - his income (and mine for that matter, even though mine isn't considered by my state) is simply too low. We are barely scraping by!

In my state, 25% is a standard shared-placement amount in the custody/CS laws, and I just did the math - if we made the 25% a part of the CO, our share of CS would go down a significant enough amount to offset the loss of money from not working those days.

What do you think??? Would it be unreasonable of DH to say that he will gladly keep SS the extra time ONCE the CO has been changed?

I know this will tick BM off- her goal in all of this seems to be to get us to pay extra on top of CS to help cover her day care costs (not our responsibility according to our state, if she wants to dispute day care costs she has to take it to court and have it added into CS, which isn't a guarantee that the judge will do this, and would be pointless- DH is making significantly less than he was at time of CO and could have it lowered if he would take the time to do so. She would end up with about the same amount each month from DH if it goes to court and the judge includes half of SS's day care costs.)

P.S. I never had any issues with this woman before the wedding (and yes we communicated regularly for years regarding my future SS)... but she has turned into a crazy person since DH and I got married. WTH???

Lauren1438's picture

Get the CO adjusted as well as the CS. Dont fall into a trap. Take everything with you. If it pisses off the "Queen" then So be it. Protect yourselves and your wallets.

cant win for losin's picture

In my opinion, if it pisses bm off, that just means it was about the money for her.
And if thats the case, if its about money for her, then its ok to be about the money for you.