My son is 23(Rob). He has been a problem since about 15 and he was a real handful. Stealing skipping school would not listen to authority threats of violence towards me, caught by police driving a stolen vehicle at 15 etc.
He dropped out of school at 17 and I told him to get a job or you are out and he did...he got himself a car, a job that paid reasonably well and it seemed like he was getting on track. He has always been difficult though lying, laziness, unco operative.

He had a girlfriend for a long time and they bought a dog together without consultation with me. The dog was supposed to live with her parents but when they broke up Lily the boxer came to our home. As much as I never wanted an animal again after the death of my last pet I love and spoil her and could never see her being put down to be rid of her..

So fast forward and about 2 years ago my partner and I moved in together. He has always got on well with my son and I dont rememebr there ever being issues between them.

Rob my son has grown lazier and lazier each day since the partner moved in and I have blown my top at him on several occasions which has got no result. The main issues are the mess he creates (to the point of his room being nauseatingly filthy with mouldy dishes everywhere) The fact that he refuses to pay the $25.00 a week 'rent' to live here (He has all food, heating, cooling, internet, phone, own bathroom use of 2 bedrooms to himself) and cleaning up after the dog who I have found on many occassion with not even any water??? :jawdrop: in a garden full of dog shit that never gets picked up. She has had health problems with her skin and he refuses to even take her to the vet.

In February an argument broke out because he had been home all day on the PC again and my partner and I came home to a house full of dirty dishes again. So this time I passworded the computer- the only thing he seems to really ever want. He has not been able to access the internet from this house since.

3 months down the track and he still refuses to speak to us. His room is diabolical the dog is still not being looked after except a can of dog food thrown in her bowl whatever time he comes home at night and the tension is just horrible. It was his birthday on Wednesday we left a card with a $100.00 visa card gift voucher on his bed and he put it back in the kitchen unopened. I dont really care about that I dont think we should have given him anything considering his attitude but I find myself scared of the confrontation with him. We all just pass each other in the hallway without a word being said. My partner tried to tell him that I would be operated on for cervical cancer a couple of months ago (given all clear just yesterday so no further issue) and he just ignored him and walked out?
In reality I think I want him to go. Get out, make your own life. I cant stand all of this. My partner wants to have it out with him but Ive said it wont change things. Ive had years of this type of behaviour. He just stares at us when we have said things in the past and has gone on to make no improvement.

Another worry is if he leaves - which I doubt he ever will willingly, Im scared he will take the dog and just leave her in a garden without caring for her properly, where as we make sure she is walked, bathed, stimulated and played with. Plus we actually both love her.

We love nothing better than when Rob has disappeared for a weekend and its just us at home. Peaceful, clean and calm.

I feel so stressed and miserable, I know my partner is sick of it all too...you can feel the tension building just as we are about to arrive home.

Im so ashamed that this is my kid.