Weekends
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Every weekend my husband and I go thru the same routine with his son, my SS almost age 5. From the time he walks in the door he starts asking, how many night nights do I have to be here before I go home to my mommies house? He won't give hugs or kisses. And we've been very welcoming and affectionate. He calls him on the phone and asks for presents but ends with , but I don't want those presents at your house because I don't want to go there.
At what age do you stop forcing the issue? If he doesn't want to come...and just sits and ignores us. He won't even walk in the same room as us...?
Help please.
We stopped at 13 when SD made
We stopped at 13 when SD made up a bunch of lies to BM so she wouldn't have to come over anymore. She has it made there and is spoiled rotten. BM also PAS's her against her dad and I.
I think 5, he's just missing his "home" and if he only comes over on weekends, he probably doesn't like the break in his routine. I'm also curious as Cheri asked above if your husband spends time with him during visits? Even though DH spent a lot of good, quality time with SD, it just wasn't enough for her.
The hubby is a Disney dad. I
The hubby is a Disney dad. I don't think he comes over without getting a new gift. Usually something interactive for them both to play with. He's a big kid too. I scrapbook and we've done that. We do game/movie night on Fridays. He doesn't want to watch movies with us. Tonight's movie is Brave..but doubt that will draw him into the room with us.
I think the fishing or
I think the fishing or playing outside, building a fort, would help some. Give him no option but to engage....but I have a 12 year old ss that no matter what we do, he doesnt engage with us much. I understand your feelings completely! About 2 years ago, he was here for a weekend and to prove my point to dh, i counted the times I was ignored and it was in the triple didgets! After that dh and I made a effort to put him in situations where communication with us was needed, we started boating, fishing, doing things where there wasnt anything else to grab his attention.
He's five, this is not
He's five, this is not normal. His mother is behind all of this except the desires for gifts which is nothing more than childish greed overcoming his mothers training.
Immediately Dad should have his attorney send the mother a certified letter stating that if she does not stop alienating the boy she will be summoned before a judge etc etc - a experienced family lawner will know the wording to use.
Dad should arrange with a child counselor for him to have a session every Saturday. A counselor who knows that s/he is likely to be drawn into court for a hearing on Parential Alienation Syndrome. Ideally a expert on PAS: http://www.bing.com/search?q=parental+alienation+syndrome&src=IE-SearchB...
When Dad and the counselor think they have enough information for the counselor to testify then he should tell his attorney to begin the process to have a court order against the mother.
Tell Dad that he is fighting for his life with his first born child and that if he fails to do everything he can afford to do he will rue his decision for the rest of his life. Stop trying to bribe the kid and stand up and fight like a man.