Watching stepkids when dads working and bio mom is off

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I need some advice please. My husband works mon-fri and my stepkids' (ages 8 and 10) bio mom is a full time substitute teacher. Now that summer break is here she isn't working. We have the stepkids Wednesday afternoon through every other Saturday . I asked DH to see about switching his days for the summer so he would have them on weekends since he is off on weekends and she has weekdays (well everyday) off. He was not a fan of that and part of me felt he doesn't know what to do with them or how to entertain them and the thought of more time with them wasn't a positive thing for him . I have two kids of my own (6 and and work full time with tues, wed, thurs off . I told him I'm overwhelmed between work and all the kids and asked if their bio mom can watch them thursdays and he has been mad at me ever since . I don't understand why me watching his kids during time when he's working and their bio mom is off makes any sense . He keeps bringing it up and giving me a guilt trip and I hate that now I either have to feel guilty or be overwhelmed . He even mentioned to his daughter intentionally in front of me that maybe her teacher can watch her on thursdays over the summer . Sometimes I want to just give in and offer to watch them thursdays but I feel like I would feel resentful. Any advice is appreciated

advice.. here's some your DH

advice.. here's some your DH will not like

Sorry they are not your children, if he's not around they stay with their mother, end of discussion.
You are not the unpaid nanny.....

SImply tell him that.... if you are not here for your children, then they stay with their mother, I'm not the free sitter, I have children to look after and I need some off time, if you don't like it get over it and pay a sitter... it's not going to be me

Thank you for that . I don't

Thank you for that . I don't know why he would rather overwhelm me than have the kids be with their bio mom . He says he's afraid she will use it against him to get full custody but I don't think that' is any grounds for it . You would think she would be happy to have more time with them

arg please - you do not know

arg please - you do not know this BM... she might be half decent and not be bothered at all...

just because you married the wrong guy who's from Alabama does not mean she did as well...

just stop your crap on this site and troll to another place seriously if you have nothing positive to say the shut the eff up

But is "using his time" even

But is "using his time" even beneficial when he's not with them ? I know I'm step mom but their 50/50 custody arrangement seems to be more accommodating to my schedule than his.

You're a moron

Just make plans for yourself

Just make plans for yourself and your kids to be out of the house... let him know you're taking your kids to x place... if he expects you to take his kids, tell him great, you'll take them that day, then he can drop off all the kids to her on the next day.

Say that if you're going to watch her kids, she can watch yours.

The bottom line is DH and his

The bottom line is DH and his ex need to rearrange their schedule so they can have the kids when they're off. Between them both one of them is off every day of the week so there's no need for anyone else to have to watch them.

I'm not demanding anyone

I'm not demanding anyone accommodate me. I work full time and have 4 kids . As women and moms we should be able to admit when we're overwhelmed and when one thing is too much . I'm not the mom you see on Pinterest who has the time to bake cake pops and make the kids lunches look like art . But I'm a good mom and I know myself and if I stretch myself too thin the foundation of our family crumbles. You know what they say about putting on your oxygen mask first right?

You shouldn't have to watch

You shouldn't have to watch her kids any more than she would have to watch hers.... but you can suggest, just as if it was another mother from a mom group...that you can exchange childcare, tit for tat.

If your dh expects you to babysit, write him up an invoice

She wouldn't...that's the

She wouldn't...that's the point... if bm wouldn't watch her kids, why would she watch BM's kids?

You're talking about MY intelligence level? Lol

Your new personality is just as charming in its troublemaking ways.

There's really two sides to

There's really two sides to this because with my bio kids if my ex gave me the option to have them on a day I could I would gladly take it. Wouldn't make him find daycare for my own kids when I'm available

That's a valid point and part

That's a valid point and part of me wants to reach out to her to see how she feels about it. I guess I could be wrong in thinking her having them is a positive thing for everyone but I assume from her previously trying to get extra time with them that she would want more.

You must be a BM and not a

You must be a BM and not a stepparent because that is something only a false sense of self entitlement BM would say and you want to talk about other people's intelligence levels. Judging by your screen name I would say that you are a TROLL!

That's exactly what I thought

That's exactly what I thought . Him having weekends and her weekdays wouldn't require anyone else's help. He says he's asked before but she's in some hot water and we could screw her over but haven't so hoping she's a little more flexible

It makes absolutely no sense

It makes absolutely no sense that their schedule is based on yours. It needs to be based on their own schedules and when they're off work. If one parent is off work, they have the kids and vise versa. This is what's best for the kids, especially, because they get to be with either parent at any given time. No offence to stepmoms but ideally children would spend more time with their parents than their stepparents lol.

Exactly and this is how mine

Exactly and this is how mine is arranged with my ex because I have 3 weekdays off and he has weekends so we worked around that. It blows my mind that this is an issue when there's an ability for the kids to be with bio mom or dad every day of the week.

It is kind of mind blowing

It is kind of mind blowing lol

I'm pregnant with my first but if god forbid something ever happened and we split up, I would expect our child to be with me, not his girlfriend/wife, if dad is busy or at work. That's just ridiculous to think that some parents don't want extra time with their children when possible. I mean, yeah, kids can get annoying, but when they're yours, you love them and miss them when they're gone, right? lol

Absolutely this.

Yes thank you . I love that

Yes thank you . I love that everyone here understands . I care for the stepkids and make sure they have everything they need but they're not my own and it feeels different . I feel like I can't really be myself and be 100% comfortable around them so the days with them are not as enjoyable . Sorry if that sounds horrible .

I think OP said they did ask.

Mom should be offered the

Mom should be offered the time IF the court order has ROFR. Otherwise, not so much

Meh - part of parenting is

Meh - part of parenting is working to support those kids. Part of that is possibly having someone watch your kids.

Dude should hire a sitter.

Not the least bit surprised that you think only the mom can watch the kids.

Dads are perfectly capable of finding a suitable babysitter.

Most BMs I know would then head to the Courthouse and say "but he doesn't even use the time he has with them" - that's exactly what Medusa tried to do.