Watching a new BM be 'created'...
This is so sad but I thought interesting to us 'old hands' here...
I am watching the birth of a superBM!
My DH's cousin has finally told her SO she doesn't want him - for good this time. So, the house is being sold and the poor sons (9 and 11) are already in turmoil.
SO went straight out on a date about a week after the split. He didn't tell her, she read his texts and found out - then tore in to him (after calling the new potential SM and telling lies about them still sleeping together)! I can't help but feel he is sort of allowed to? She's just broken up with him - isn't he allowed to (subtly) go and get his kicks? Anyway, I am sitting listening to her moan and can see the situation unfolding already.
Already she is manipulating the boys - letting them sleep with her overnight and encouraging them to call/text her if they aren't happy with Dad. She is so happy that they don't really want to spend time with him (and guess what? He is showering them with gifts/money - where have I seen that one before?!).
I can't wait for him to have a serious relationship - if we keep in touch with him at ALL I am giving the poor girl my phone number and telling her to call me any time - she's going to need it!
It is so bizarre watching this from the other side.
I don't condone his
I don't condone his behaviour, but we don't even know for sure if he had a date - she went through his phone, found some messages with 'hey sexy' in them and (IMO) totally over-reacted. They are not sleeping together - not in the same bed and haven't had 'relations' for many, many months if not years...
He isn't a saint - being very rude, calling her a w***e, dictating what time the boys need to be where and turfing her out of the marital bed when she fell asleep there with her son (he has a bad back) - didn't stop him staying somewhere else the next night!
Poor, poor boys...
I think there is always some
I think there is always some drama at the beginning stages of divorce/separation.
Sounds like they are both not acting in the best interest of the kids. That "BM" can also be that "BD".
If they are not married and
If they are not married and just living together and separating he has every right to do as he pleases. I believe that if they were married he should wait until the actual divorce. Men deal with break ups in this way.. and I will say in my own past experience a rebound or new relationship can help you get over things. I find that men are more likely not able to handle being alone or they just need and want sex.. Not sure why she would be upset if she broke it off with him. She is probably hurt. Yep.. a new BM in the making.
My hubby and I met while he
My hubby and I met while he was not divorced yet :). I told him I wasn't interested until the papers came through - but he cajoled me and I fell for him...
Nah his still tapping her,
Nah his still tapping her, how else would she get a hold of his phone to read his messages?
Tapping her? Apparently he
Tapping her? Apparently he left his phone at home and she just picked it up.. who knows. I don't think he should jump straight into bed with someone else, but agree that she's broken it off and as long as it's not dragged in front of the kids he has every right.
I find it really hard spending time with her as my soul really wants to say "back off, don't use the kids against him" etc.... but my 'friend side' has to say "aww, poor you'. I am compromising by telling her she has a great future for herself and not to look back...