Stay out of it...I wouldn't encourage him to force it. That's just my opinion/bias though.

DH has always been told by legal counsel that children do not have a choice about visitation, and it's wrong of the BM to tell them that they do. I blogged recently about BM telling SD7 that she wouldn't like coming to our state for the summer, that she wouldn't like daycare or have any fun. She told SD that she didn't have to come if she didn't want to. DH explained very kindly to SD that he was sorry that anyone told her she had a choice, but that she was going to come spend time with her dad and that we would all have fun, and it would be fine. She responded very well to it. Every time BM pulls this we explain to SD that she has two parents that love her, and children are supposed to spend time with both of her parents. I agree with ripley about making lots of memories, it feels good for both the children and the adults. I am constantly on the lookout for new arts project sets and craft things for SD to do. She has fun creating, and we have so many pieces of sentimental artwork hanging in our home from her.

Well we had the same situation a while and we told SD you dont want to come then dont come..but we made it very clear that if she doesnt come now she doesnt come next time...she thought we were kidding..we did not pick her up for almost 2 months and then bammm..she called DH and asked him to pick her up..he did pick her up and that solved that issue...

We explained to SD who is now 10yrs old that we only see her EOW and we miss her but if she doesnt want to be with us then she can stay at her moms....but we will not be yo-yo's to her every wim...

JMO...Z

From the very beginning my dh made it very clear to bm and the kids that the kids have NO say in weather they come or not and that they will come period! He has never went against that. Whenever bm tries to pull that card (saying so n so doesn't want to come or whatever) he tells her that as a mom she should be the parent and tell them they have to come and he reminds her that the papers say she it is her duty to make sure they come for visits and never to keep them from him. Yes dh's papers do say that. B/c bm considers herself MOTY dh gets her every time with the as the mom that is your job! lol

Staying out of it is the BEST thing; but I think she should be made to do it. Letting her "call the shots" on what she wants to do is a nightmare. My DH is paying for that right now; he let princess do this for years and since she has been w/ us FTime for the past 1.5 years; he is PAYING for it big time. Good luck

People may not agree with the way my ex and I handled visitation, but it worked for us.
We felt our children should be able to see each parent whenever they wanted so we didn't follow the court order. Kids pretty much could come and go as they wanted and when they could drive it even got easier. Kids were always welcome at each other's home. I could not image my child wanting to see me and couldn't because they had to wait for a certain date decided by a court.

ownpersonalopinion1 That works IF both parents don't try to keep the kids from the other parent. in my case the bm refused visits and dh HAD NO choice but to force her into letting him see his own kids!! The kids were too young to even voice that they wanted to see one parent over the other or when and how long. CO's are ordered for a reason and this si the reason as MANY bm's refuse and PAS their kids so that the father may never see them which is what she wants. We have no choice but to follow the CO b/c if we didn't dh would NEVER get to see his kids and the kids know that. ALL of them have told us that. As thy got older they saw that their mom was doing every she could to keep them from their dad to point that she would call the police and dhs and make false allegations against us.

When you have something like that going on you have NO CHOICE but to get a court order and enforce it to the letter!

But good for you that your kids are allowed to never feel that they are choosing one parent over the other and never made to feel guilty about being at one parents house over the other and can see their parents when they want. However in most cases that is not how it works, in fact 9 times out of 10 it si the mother trying so hard to keep the father out of the kids lives that it creates a hell for the kids and the father.

He *should* enforce visitation, however, if you live in the U.S. and are in the states of NY, NJ, MA, CA where PAS by the CP BM is OPENLY encouraged in the courts, you're fighting a losing battle EVEN IF you are well heeled and can throw thousands and thousands of dollars at the "Old BM System"

GG decided not to fight the endless excuses as to why the oldest two "couldn't come" to visitation and now they are all one-sided from the Behemoth's family and sadly, some of his own family who only have the Behemoth's account of what happened.

He was basically competing with his own wallet when the skids came on visitation as the CS was half his small income. The Behemoth (who WORKS for CPS in her county) worked the system and employed EVERY PAS TRICK in the BOOK.

Until there is a mass revolt against the "Old BM System" nothing will change and children will continue to suffer as a result.