very upset
I don't even know where to start. Dh wants me involved. I want to be involved. But when I'm too involved, he says he's on pins and needles. I grew up in a strict home. His kids are good, but need discipline. I feel like he only wants me to be involved when he feels like it. We used to be on the same page with everything.
I'm exhausted. I need a break. I feel like a lot of responsibility is on me. If it weren't for me, dh would be lost. I don't feel used.......
I used to hang out with friends often. I now have an instant family that I've always wanted. Not the instant part, but a family. I'm 38 and feel not ready for kids. Things are put aside that I want to do or go. I wanted to watch football one time. Yes, me. Everything we watch is around dh and skids. Which, I have not many complaints.. I like the same things.But started watching football and dh and skids got restless. I couldn't enjoy watching it, so I turned it.
I need a vacation. Can't because we have school activities for a few weeks. I'm just asking for a short weekend getaway. I want to go shopping. Not splurge, but take time for myself. Refresh. Recharge. Dh doesn't understand that.
I've disengaged. I feel if I disengage more, then it's close to not caring. My whole life is focused on them. I love dh dearly.
Just confused. Exhausted. Not happy. Anything I say, I get thrown back into my face. I'm not heard. Listened to. I feel like I have to run this household or it will fall apart. Yes, it will. I have to organize every matter. Think about dinner. Prepare events that don't pertain to me.
I feel like I lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore. My close friends are no longer close. I feel like I can't confide in anyone because we have mutual friends. Word travels fast. No family in the area. They think I'm living the dream and happy.
I'm falling apart.
Have you looked into therapy
Have you looked into therapy for yourself? This is a major life change for you and will take some work to get through it.
Do not ask, TAKE a vacation.
Do not ask, TAKE a vacation. What will happen if you do? Someone will be mad at you? Someone will not get a balanced meal?
Sometimes, we CONTROL FREAK PERFECTIONISTS tell ourselves that no one can survive without us. You may be just a little teeny bit scared to go for fear that they may got along fine without you? Maybe? Stop controlling everything. You are probably a manager at work, or worse run your own business? Idk, maybe I'm way way off? But, you can leave, you don't need permission. You don't sound weak to me so your not intimidated by anyone. Just let go.
Sorry if I'm way off the
Sorry if I'm way off the mark. But, you really don't sound weak and wobbly to me. :O And regarding your friends, go get them back. That's probably what you miss more than anything.
Do you drink at all? My
Do you drink at all?
My mother always said that sometimes life gets too much and so we all need a good night on the town where we get drunk and forget our worries....
She would say its better we do that than to bottle it all up and it affect your personality...
So my DH and I practiced that last weekend...it was great!
I think your DH may be bending over a little to much for the skids, and standing back as you do all the parenting.
Im also from a strict family...so too DH, but the horrible skids were brought up by the BM who allowed them to do what ever they wanted to do....in the end they are monsters with juvenile delinquent tendecies....just horrible to be around...no one wants to come to our house when they are here....
so mention this to your DH. and get him to help you....after he takes you out on the town for a good time!