Venting more about BM being too hard on SD
I made a previous post about my concern for my SD15 being pushed too hard by BM. I continue to keep my mouth shut because I understand my boundaries, but now there's more. This is simply me expressing my concern. If you need to catch up, read my post "Vent about BM being too hard on SD".
Got a text from my DH yesterday... SD got the job at (Fast Food Place)". Long story short, BM made her get a part time job. Now, I am all for teenagers working to earn their own spending money, so don't me wrong here. It's just that SD is already having to do cheer, marching band, cotillion, has a very tough school schedule which includes some college level classes, and now when she has any free time, it will be spent working. SD had blisters so bad on her feet last weekend that they look infected and she is getting sick. We treated her feet and her sore throat/cold while she was with us for the weekend. I just hate having to sit back and watch this poor child be so over-scheduled she can't even stay well. She has no social life and it bothers her. She has commented to me more than once about wanting to be a "normal teenager" and I just listen. I have asked her before about lightening her load if she feels she is doing too much and she said her mother will not allow her to drop anything. She also says she doesn't even want to do some of the things on her plate, but BM makes her. I wish I could do something and it's really hard for me to sit back and watch this poor child suffer. SD comes to me for advice and I am very careful about the words I choose as not to badmouth her mother or anything... I just pray for some relief for this sweet girl. Thanks for listening 
SD is upset she isn't going
SD is upset she isn't going to have a typical teen, but aren't most typical teens lazy, immature, irresponsible jerks?
ALSO all of this stuff will help her. My parents pushed my sister into doing activities and jobs she didn't want to do. She just wanted to be a typical teen. She would complain to anyone who listened. I remember the guidance counselor calling my mom and my mom saying, "I want my daughter to have a better life. If the other parents don't want to give that to their kids, that's not my problem!"
My sister HATED my mom....but...she ended up getting a full ride scholarship to a very prestigious university. None of her typical teenager friends got in.
Look, I am not saying BM's parenting couldn't be improved upon. It probably could, and no parent is perfect....but...you are just getting one side of the story from the SD. If you would've listened to just my sister, you wouldve thought my mom was a demon from hell. But she wasn't, the truth was a lot more complex.
IMHO you are getting too emotionally invested accepting SD's side as 100% unvarnished truth...
For example, maybe the flip
For example, maybe the flip side of the blister thing is that SD refuses to wear responsible shoes to work and insisted on "pretty" shoes and BM figured she'd let SD learn a lesson!
I played sports, did band, took college classes, was in three activities, and I was often on my feet ALOT. If you wear good shoes and good socks,, and take care of your feet, no reason you should get blisters.....
IMHO it sounds like mom isn't perfect, but it also sounds like SD is playing you like a fiddle.