ok.. so i have posted in the adult step children area and now i am venting in this one! i have a 9 yr old sd that is currently living with myself and her father( my husband) and has been for almost 2 yrs now. no overnights are allowed with bm due to sexual abuse allegations from sd against bm boyfriend... no charges were filed although an investigation was completed but not enough evidence to prosecute was stated. bm states her child is lying and does so on a regular basis. Took sd to therapist and was told something happened but not sure as to how severe because bm has this childs head all messed up. Went to court to fight for custody ( last hearing was in may of 2015) had some idiots come out to do some "social investigation" and closed their case with the recommendations that bm be allowed to have supervised visits due to the fact that we allowed her to take the sd off for the day with the rules being that she is not to be around bm's boyfriend at all.... did not happen that way.. she took her straight over there and so we had to deal with sd nightmares all over again...... bad situation... we stopped letting her see her and the sd was doing awesome in school, awesome at home!! For the past 3 months we have allowed bm to come to our home to visit on the porch(where she said she would visit) and she stays for about one hour or so two times a week. bm has never left her boyfriend stating she cant afford to move out on her own.. still no court date for a final decision as of yet.. bm has 16 yr old daughter that also has moved out of the house and is living with her paternal grandparents (no relation to my husband) . my sd has contact with her older sister from her mother quite frequently and they have a decent relationship. We (the bm and i) have never had any issues really.. i don't agree with her parenting styles but hey not my job.. bm asked if she could go with me to get the report card for sd and i agreed. bd works til late in the evening and is not always home in time for these things.. in the beginning of all of this bm stated she wanted me to have NOTHING TO DO WITH HER DAUGHTER AND THAT INCLUDES SETTING VISITATION, SCHOOL, DOCTORS ..ETC... when i said since he (bd) is not home til late and if you want to see your child you will deal with me or not see her at all... she threw a fit and so i said cool not my problem. and went for 6 months with only phone contact.. now its better.. but she is now coming over and i am not monitoring what she is saying and suddenly the school report card for this past 9 weeks is showing a major difference in attitude, behavior and grades and not in a good way.. so what to do???? my sd is stating that the bm is asking her if she likes living here again and buying her things for the first time in her life so the sd is all about the bio mom now. And i get that she is only 9 and things like that are cool to her but bm has had cps in her life for years and does this alot!! she is nice and loving mom til they are gone and then its back to the same old same old shit again.. and i don't want to see the sd hurt when she starts going back to the same mom she has always been... any suggestions??