Nope. I was 35. I am not jealous or bitter. I am independent, self-sufficient and totally secure with myself and in my relationship, but I still hate being a SM because she still isn't my kid yet 1/2 my life is defined by her.

If I am talking to other parents about discipline, expectations, etc. or if I have to correct her in front of the neighbors, I still feel out of place and like I am being judged.

I have live where we live because she is here.

I have to share my child with her and work extra hard with him to make sure he doesn't pick up her shitty attitude and behavior. My schedule is entertwined with hers as far as making vacation plans, dinner plans, etc.. I'm expected to plan DS' bday around her.

I don't resent any of those things. BUT I DO resent the fact that she is super slow and makes me late for everything simply because she won't move her ass. I do resent that she bosses my child around and tries to act like his mother.

I think being younger might actually be worse because having biokids with your dh after he's already had kids with someone else complicates things. I have it pretty easy because my dh is fine with the fact that I love my child and not his and he doesn't expect me to not do anything with our child when she isn't here, but there are still complications.

Hi!
I do think w/ age comes wisdom and I definitely think the odds are more on your side if you get married and know who YOU are before taking on the role of a wife and stepmom. On the other hand, the longer you've been single, the harder I think it can be to integrate new husband in your life, never mind his kids and ex wife etc etc. I was 30 when i got married to dh who had 8 yo dtr. She's 10 now. It totally rocked my world and not in a good way! Before, I was single, did my own thing, had my own space etc etc and then went to being married (which btw is hard in an of itself) and having full custody of a 8 yo girl whose mother did everything she could to embitter sd against us. The first year of marriage was the worst year of my life hands down. but i've had a pretty good life, so it's all relative. BUT, now things are good and I credit it primarily to 2 things:
1. My husband is AWESOME. He is a man, takes responsibilty for stuff, doesnt enable stupidity from ex wife, has boundaries, puts me first, doesnt micromanage me in terms of his kid, expects that she respects me, etc etc and
2. I finally decided to get a grip and get focus and vision on how I want to impact sd's life over the long haul and (try to) act accordingly.

Notice neither of the things have anything to do w/ the kids behavior or the craziness of the ex wife or finances, or child support etc etc. It is imperative you trust your husband and belive that he truly has appropriate boundaries w/ his ex and his own kid. Boundaries w/ his own kid meaning that as the adults of the household you are first and the kids come second. I dont think a household can work when kids are first. So if you're old enough to KnOW that you've met a man that will put you first and old enough to know that the success of the stepfamily has nothing to do w/ the kids day to day behavior and everything to do w/ the adult attitudes and behavior, then you're old enough good luck!

Live life and enjoy your young years to get an education and travel. Experience life and the world through the eyes of a 27 year old woman. It is too young to take on a ready family.
I would not advise any woman to get herself in such a situation unless her husband is spiritually enlightened , not religiously but spiritually and knows himself very well.
There is nothing wrong with your feelings :). They are what some call disturbances that point at you that your mind is overworking. You need to relax and take yourself away from your mind.You think you have become the jealous person - but you have become the cause of your problems by becoming your mind that rationalizes your feelings as jealousy.The trick is to let it pass through and get still and you will be able to get clear whether this is the reality that you truly want for yourself.
If your significant other has told you that you are jealous or relatives etc - I would seriously rethink my long term plans with this family.
I agree with stepalong that you need the support of your spouse and his devotion to the marriage unit not only in words and vows but in real life situations and actions. Then you can make your decisions what role if any you want to play in the stepchildren`s life. Some women play a role some do not. Every situation is different but what stepalong describes is the best you can hope for:).

I was 41 and had been a BM for 17 1/2 years when I became a SM.

I don't have the issues many here post about because:

1. While I love my DF, I don't love him enough to sit back and allow him, his, kids or BM walk over me.
2. Since I was a mom before meeting DF, I don't have this burning desire to mother his kids. As a result, there is a mommy war between BM and I.

I think if you have brought up your own kids already, it does give you a certain advantage in knowing what is reasonable behaviour etc and what is not - in terms of SKIDs. My daughters were 17 and 19 when I met my DH, and his were 7 and 5 - and couldn't have been more different from my own.
I found it sometimes caused friction if I offered DH the "benefit of my experience" lol - in bringing up children. He thinks he's a great Dad, but he's actually not. I decided to disengage and most of the time I keep my cake hole firmly shut.

If I had been faced with the prospect of being a SM at age 27, I would have been totally out of my depth - but different people have different strengths and you may be fine. I think going into it without unrealistic expectations will help you. This article also might:
http://www.stepfamily.org/dynamics.html

Honestly, I think ANYONE who has never had kids, unless they are over 40, should NOT become a stepmom...lol...I think under 26 is WAY TO YOUNG to become a stepmom (if you are NOT already a BM)...