These awful every other weekends!
I hate myself for feeling this way!! I have 2 sc. 1 16 year old SD and 1 10 year old stepson we never see him (I am my husband's 3rd marriage. His kids are by 2 different x wives. This is my second marriage. I have a 16 year old bs. I literally shut down when she comes to stay with us. I FREAKING HATE EVERY SECOND OF IT!! No matter how hard I try not to feel this way I do.. I feel incredibly sad when she is around. I literally sat in a chair all weekend barely moving. And I am a fit runner who practices yoga and meditation. Funny thing is my SD is a nice girl, pleasant, good grades,not loud or bratty. . But she is SUPER lazy, does not shower or brush her teeth or comb her hair. Thinks she is the smartest person and loses everything and talks incessantly!! I cringe hearing the interaction between her and my husband. It literally makes me uncomfortable. The crazy thing is my husband divorced his second wife because she could not stand his daughter! ! At first I thought what a witch.. Now 4 years later I get it.. Why why why do I feel this way?? I am a nice person. I volunteer, I taught preschool for years, I am an awesome mother to my bs.I have never spanked or went off on my kid or anyone elses!! Why do I feel so terrible when she is around??? Why do I hate her interaction with my husband? ? What is wrong with me?? Please help..
I feel for you. I'm
I feel for you. I'm learning that those feelings can be totally normal. I hate it when my fiancee kids don't clean up after themselves. Especially when I do things to help them. Frustrating!
How does he interact with her? What specifically do you dislike about their interactions? Have you talked to your DH about her personal hygiene? It's something it sounds as though he should be concerned with and discussing with her or perhaps talking to her mother about discussing with her.
Thanks for the reply.
Thanks for the reply. Honestly her just being in my house makes me almost shut down. And I am by all definitions a strong woman. My husband is not a "kid" person. He does what he can. It's funny I am the opposite I love kids!! For lack of a better term she just really irritates me.. I of course have gone over the hygiene issues with my husband. He ignores it. She and I are totally opposites I am a girly girl, slender makeup, fashionable. But I completely respect women who have no interest in that ( we are all different) Some of the things to bother me are how sweet and willing my husband is to her every want and need.. his ignoring her weight problem and feeding her pepsi, fast food candy.pure junk.. My 16 year due son lives with us and does not get this type of food. He took her out to eat for lunch and dinner yesterday. I stayed home.. I promise I am not just saying this but my son is the easiest kid on earth. . Quiet respectful, good grades, never been in trouble for anything. . DR says he just doesn't connect with him because he is not "his" Honestly I don't feel that way.I think it's just her.....
Lov child's ed Robin
Lov child's ed Robin Will..iams btw.. When we first got married it would really irritate me she would always hold his hand and call him daddy and she looks like a grown woman. She is like 5'10 and triple dds. It was embarrassing and I felt like it made him look like a pervert. I said" Honey that doesn't look normal!" When we would go into restaurants they would ask if she wanted alcohol mean while handing my son (same age) a child's menu
As I got to know my fiancee
As I got to know my fiancee daughter (13) over the past year she on several occasions described me as a girly girl. (I didn't argue with her- it's true- I grew up in a house with one other sibling- a sister and I have 12 aunts total so I was immersed in all things girly from a young age.) In contrast, my future SD13 has two brothers and her mother likes to hunt, fish and wear camouflage and her daughter is a mini-me of her mother. I, like you, have no issue with that- to each their own! But I have put up with snide remarks and stupid Facebook posts about how real women hunt, fish, and wear camo (and probably spit loogys and burp the A, B, C's too among other things lol) It only bothers me that I know it's directed at me but I'm getting a thicker skin.
In your case, if you are shutting down it really seems like a breakdown of communication between you and husband because your relationship with him should be number one. It sounds like you feel disrespected and unsupported by him. (He doesn't seem to be on the same page about her hygiene which would upset me too) Additionally he is being harshly straight with you about not connecting with your son- which had to be hurtful to hear. I think it's totally normal to not have bonding feelings with your step kids (I'm reading the book "Stepmonster" right now and it sheds light on why and how to deal) But I'm learning that I need to keep coming back to my relationship with my fiancé to strengthen it to work on the problems and have realistic expectations: Maybe neither of you have bonded with the others children, but what do you expect from him in regards to your son and vice versa? There are posters on here who will advise you to leave, to quit and move on- that step families never work. But I choose to listen to the seasoned post-ers who have a "cup is half full" mentality because that's how I want to live.
Lol that's got to be hard
Lol that's got to be hard too. The outdoorsy woman offense. I feel disrespected in a lot of ways yes.. When you get to be my age you are over coming last. Exhausting.. If I could go back, I would make it a rule not to get involved with guys with kids unless they were babies. That said I will try to withstand this as much as it is horrible. It's not like the average person or my dh would EVER get this..