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Teens Experimenting

OptimisticMe's picture

Submitted by OptimisticMe on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:04am

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I just learned that my SD13 got caught smoking weed with her friends. I am a very sheltered individual and didn't encounter weed until college and chose to never touch it (must admit sometimes I wish I had given it a try while I had less to loose...too late for that now).

Anyways, is 13 a "normal" age to start experimenting with these things or is she in that small group of "bad kids"? I tend to think she is in the small "bad kid" group, but since I came from the "good kid" group that would never do such a thing...I am not sure. I know things have changed a lot with kids these days. I bet if we have any teachers on here, they could clear things up for me.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:15am

Well I'm not a teacher..

Drugs are everywhere. Its normal for that age group to be exposed to drugs from what I see and hear with other teenagers. The problem with them smoking pot at that age, is that their brain is not fully developed and pot will affect their brain for the rest of their life. If they want to smoke pot, it should not be done until they are in their mid 20's at soonest. Parents need to teach their teens this. Even with that said, many will still do it anyways.

StepDoormat's picture

Submitted by StepDoormat on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:37am

Is it common for kids to be exposed to drugs at that age? Sure - especially when the high school and junior high are combined in one building. Is it NORMAL for your SD13 to be experimenting with them? No.

Yes, I suppose all kids experiment with some things: drugs, alcohol, lying, sex, etc. But, its up to her parents to provide the consequences for such actions. At 13, I would say its a little soon for this type of experimenting.

OptimisticMe's picture

Submitted by OptimisticMe on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:26pm

That is pretty much what I was thinking...available but not normal to try them. Thanks!

And by the way, MY kids will never turn out like SD because I parent mine Smile I parented SD, too for 8 years but it just doesn't work as well coming from a step...makes them think Daddy doesn't care and SM is just an evil witch so they should do the bad things in spite of her.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:19pm

I agree-these things are out there. If a kid of 13 wants to try them, use them they will be able to find them. However, I have dd15 and ds 13. I am quite certain neither have smoked pot. My dd15 had a few sips of a wine cooler this summer and quite honestly I freaked on her and grounded her completely for 2 weeks and restricted her activities for the rest of the summer. I sure hope that she has not experiemented more that I dont know about. I have lectured her enough (I am a substance abuse therapist and an advisor for two our local counties drug court programs). My ds13? It's almost laughable to think of him trying anyting like that. He is most definitely one of the good kids. However, even sometimes good kids make mistakes. I dont know if this is what your sd is- a good kid who made a mistake or if this is some sort of pattern with her.

My ss14 first tried pot at 12. By 13 he was trying to grow a plant in his bm's front yard. That is the size of a postage stamp. In the middle of the city. He's a bad kid. He's not normal in any way shape of form. But this is due to a whole variety of bad behaviors and smoking pot is just one piece of that.

OptimisticMe's picture

Submitted by OptimisticMe on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:24pm

She is definitely NOT one of the good kids nor does she want to be. She prides herself on being "bad". I swear she looks for new "bad" things to do every minute of her existence.

My kids will be "good" kids because I am not scared to parent them.

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:08pm

I agree with stepdoormat, I don't think I was a bad kid but I had "tried" weed by 13, only once and it was bc of who I was with- my parents went on a weekend trip and left me with close friends of the family and she was no angel everyone thought she was and I was exposed to it.

I was regularly smoking weed at 15-16. Keep a close watch on who your kids hang with it's really a difference of smoking or not IMO- I never smoked alone, only with my "friends"

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 4:44pm

I started stuff like that about 14. I know that not everyone's life is ruined by pot, but she is way too young to be smoking, and pot is a gateway to other illegal activities, most especially at that age when you are being rebellious and "cool" with your "bad kid" friends. It's probably too late to try and change her friends. She will look for that group in whatever situation she is in now. I hope that things go ok. Pot is ok for adults, IMO, but absolutely not for children. This could ruin her life. It ruined my life(not pot, but the decisions that I made because I liked being the bad girl,) making those exact mistakes at her age, and I am just now getting it back together and I am a grown adult.

What did her father do to punish her?

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 7:20am

"My kids will be "good" kids because I am not scared to parent them".

Careful or you may have a rude awakening. I.e. don't assume that your 'good' parenting is all it takes. Watch for the signs.

This girl has a head start on being a pregnant drop-out unless some intervention is put into place. If Daddy were here I'd advise him to visit the school counselor and see if he can get the kid into some sort of intervention program - a private one that actually has some success rate.