Summer when one parent is a teacher
Right now, DH has SD15, SS12 and SD8 3 weekends out of 4 because we live about 1 hour away from BM.
Last summer, the skids had only just learned that their parents were separating so they stayed with BM for the entire summer. The 3 weekends schedule only began this fall.
BM is a teacher and because of that, has the entire summer off (8 weeks). My DH has a regular job and only gets 2 weeks of summer vacation.
DH informed BM that when school is out, he wants to see the children more than usual and have them 4 weeks this summer. But BM is furious and does not agree. Because she is not working, she expects that we will continue with the same schedule of 3 weekends out of 4 weeks. She complains that she does not get enough quality time during the year and wants to compensate this summer
Are any of you teachers? If so, do you have the same expectations?
What does the court order
What does the court order from their divorce say?
She can expect and want all she wants but if your husband disputes it then they can argue their cases to a judge.
There is no court order.
There is no court order. That's the problem. They have been in mediation for over a year trying to agree on custody.
Since there is no court order
Since there is no court order it will be best if your DH compromise with BM to a certain extent until y'all can get one in place. She can do whatever she wants until then honestly. I can understand that BM doesn't want her kids spending time with a babysitter when she's at home and fully capable of keeping the kids. Maybe your DH can suggest doing Week on/week off visitation during the Summer since that's normally what judges order anyway but on DH's weeks he drop them off to BM's on his way to work and pick them up on his way home. This way he still gets "his" evenings/time and BM still gets to get some of hers as well.
No CO? Time for a lawyer
No CO? :? :jawdrop:
Time for a lawyer and to get this in front of a judge ASAP. It needs to be resolved one way or the other before school gets out for the summer. In reality your DH is the CP because he has his kids far more than 50% of the time. He needs to leverage that advantage quickly IMHO. Before things shift for the summer.
The kid are only with him 3
The kid are only with him 3 weekends a month. :?
Mom is the CP, not dad.
3 weekends out of 4. Ahh
3 weekends out of 4. Ahh hahh. It registered as 3 weeks out of 4 when I first read it.
Thanks for the clarification.
If your DH only has 2 weeks
If your DH only has 2 weeks off in the summer who is going to look after them for the other 2 weeks if you did get them for the 4 weeks you are asking for??
I would compromise and ask for them for the 2 weeks DH is off and then continue with the weekend arrangment.
If they just separated las
If they just separated las summer, how have they been in mediation for over a year? Color me confused...
Interesting. Thanks for your
Interesting. Thanks for your input on this situation. I'll bring up your suggestions with hubby.
My own divorce a year and half ago was so easy and amicable and I'm always puzzled with just how their separation is so complicated in comparasion. I do not implicate myself in their arguments but this constant fighting is exhausting and getting DH a little Moody. I kick myself sometimes for getting involved with him knowing he had not yet sorted his past. Honnestly though we are very happy and he's done so much that I do not regret sticking around one bit.
For those who are curious about my DH's separation: DH and BM were never married. He was still living with BM up until last June when we met. They had been living separately in the same house for many months while they were trying to sell the house. They started the mediation process and had not told the children anything yet and wanted to wait until they would sell the house and they could afford to leave separately. A big mess. When it was clear that it was very serious between us, he had no choice but to move out and that's when they told the children that they were officically separating (i.e him moving out).