Stress or crying in kids? Help please.
Only 4 more days with SD6.... this has been a long summer break.
Today, we asked her to arrange her books in a new shelf unit that we got for her room. She started arranging the books, and then while SO and I were sitting downstairs talking, we heard it.
"Daaaaaddddyyyyyyyyy."
I told SO to tell SD to come down here if she needed him, and he did so. SD came down and said that she was having some trouble with her books. SO went upstairs, and then she started to cry to him about how she couldn't work out how to arrange them. He helped her, telling her to just find the hard cover ones and put them aside while he made lunch, and that he would help her put them away once we'd all eaten. He came back downstairs, and a few minutes later, she started throwing a tantrum. It's still going upstairs as I type this, loud crying and her screaming about how she "doesn't like it" and "doesn't want to do it". SO almost went upstairs, but I told him not to.
Oh, now SD is now hiding at the base of the stairs and listening to our conversation..... time to change the subject.
How the hell do parents deal with this?!
Thanks for the advice. She's
Thanks for the advice. She's still kind of creeping around, but she's stopped crying, at least. I'm about to go into the bedroom to put away laundry, shut and lock the door, and not worry about either of them for awhile.
I assume she knows she is
I assume she knows she is leaving in 6 days. Transitions are hard for kids. It is always easier to leave if you are angrey -- at least it seems that way. Divorce and moving back and forth is especially difficult. Good advice on him not going upstairs. Clearly she is needing his attention which should be given when she calms down. I suspect her behavior is more a reflection of her feelings that she doesn't have the insight to know nor the vocabulary to wrap around and articulate. When lunch is ready, I (he) would tell her lunch is ready if she can come down quietly and then dad will help her with the books.
Thanks, that ended up being
Thanks, that ended up being exactly what happened. Now, she's putting away books, and not crying, though she's being a bit slow about it, that's fine.
Might help to talk to her
Might help to talk to her about the transition back to mom's and give her some words. Also, when she is upset like that her dad, or you if he's not home, could try saying something like, "I see you're upset can you use your words to tell me about it?" Glad she got it together. Helping her understand and express her feelings will make it easier in the future. I expect she will still act out but maybe not as long.
She's 6 and wants her Daddy
She's 6 and wants her Daddy all to herself. My SD was 5 when we got together and would make up every excuse in the world to get him with her and away from me. She's over it now for the most part.
Also, on getting her to do things on her own...I used to keep small rewards like sticker, new crayons, a coloring book, etc and give it to the kids when they finished a project or cleaned their room. Also, little girls love lip gloss.
SS13 thinks that if he half
SS13 thinks that if he half asses a chore, he will not be made to do it again. Sometimes he does it incorrectly so that I have to redirect him or correct him so many times he thinks it will be easier for me to do it myself. He did this while mowing the lawn about 10 days ago.
This wouldn't work on a 6 year old, but I'll tell you what worked fabulously on a 13 year old boy. I got a big jug of gas for the lawnmower, and I went to all the neighbors and let them know that I was having trouble teaching SS how to mow the lawn, and I asked if it would be alright if he did some yardwork for them. He was made to mow, weedeat, and weed the neighbors' yards on both sides, across the street, and adjacent 2 houses down from across the street. 5 yards in all, in addition to ours. The neighbors next door are away for the summer, but I emailed, and they agreed that SS was welcome to practice on their lawn for the duration of the season. It's a miracle! He's got a lawn to mow every day but Sunday now! With this much practice, he'll surely be up to par on it by the end of summer. Next summer my yard should look tip top
Well I would have put her on
Well I would have put her on the naughty step, I don't put up with tantrums, she was just being lazy, she wanted Daddy to do it for her, I also have a Sd6, shes not perfect but she would have done that task ok and I would have made sure that she thanked us for the shelf unit, as for whining, we just ignore it, in fact she dos'nt bother to do it anymore, because she has realised it dos'nt work, just keep up what you are doing, she needs to learn how to do things, if you stick to something and don't back down, plus act as a team, she will learn how to behave herself. I think that none of this is unkind, even the most damaged kids, need discipline and boundaries, plus lots of love and time, my first 2 skids were mistreated by their mother, I treated them as my own, bad behaviour was not tolerated, we gave them so much love and chores lol, within a few months ss5 stopped wetting the bed and Sd7 was like a new child, they were so happy and well adjusted.