Step Daughter with constant head lice...
My 5 year old step daughter constantly has lice... Her mother does not give us a heads up, but we find it and every time she's been well aware of her having lice. We get her every weekend... I can treat her hair, wash her clothing that she wears to our house from home, etc... But I can't go home with her and do the part her mother obviously isn't... What can I do about this? Nothing? Just continue to treat her when I find them until she gets super lice and gives them to my own three children that live in the house? I don't see how someone can be so negligent and also just plain rude by not letting us know. I'm aware lice are super easy to get, but aren't they rather easy to ger rid of?... This is the first time in my 33 years that I've personally dealt with lice... I feel bad for my step daughter, but I'm also fed up. Any advice is appreciated.
Sounds like YOU, personally,
Sounds like YOU, personally, are "dealing with" this constant infestation. Why isn't her father? Step #1, her actual PARENT needs to deal with this every time - NOT you. My guess is he will get sick of having to do it and will address it with bm a little more forcefully.
Additionally, why isn't her dad addressing this with her mother? If my child CONSTANTLY had lice due to the other parent's OBVIOUS negligence, I would be raising all kinds of hell. Has he? Or again, maybe it hasn't been that big of a problem for him, since YOU are the one that has to deal with it all the time.
Personally, I would not want to keep risking my children, myself and my home getting infested with lice. That is REDICULOUS.
I'm pretty sure that I'm the
I'm pretty sure that I'm the only person doing anything about it. Period. My husband always just wants send her home when we find it. I wouldn't trust him to treat it properly even if he wanted to, but he SHOULD be doing more about it by at least addressing the situation. I honestly told him that I'll give her the follow up treatment next week but that after that... I'm done... It's my time and money being wasted and I'm tired of worrying about things beyond my control. Can she be sent home for it if it's during his visitation time or does it have to be continuously dealt with while she's here? I just wonder if this cycle has to legally continue because I'm at my wits end. I cannot keep her here without immediately addressing the issue...... So if she has to stay, I will have to keep up with it...... He was SUPPOSE to talk to mom today at pick up (glad I didn't hold my breath), but he dealt with mom's boyfriend instead. I even told him that he can use me as an excuse- for him tell her that I want to know why she continues to get lice over and over again. Truthfully, I DO want to know. And I want HER to know it's gotta stop.
So he seems to be unable and
So he seems to be unable and/or unwilling to help his daughter by properly treating at your shared home and has not addressed this properly with her mother. And just wants to "send her home to bm" instead of dealing with it like a proper parent. Bleh. I'm going to be honest, I would lose respect for a man like that.
I would get your DH to talk
I would get your DH to talk to her about how bad those chemicals are for her to keep being exposed to continuously and that she needs to get to the root of it.
Ugh, what a frustrating situation!!!!! There was a kid at my DD’s school who kept infecting everyone over and over and over one year- it was an absolute nightmare!!!
It's like... No one cares but
It's like... No one cares but me. It's maddening. As far as I know, the only time they've ever discussed it is via text when they're found. No follow up. No, "Why does this keep happening?" It's not my place, but I'd love to discuss it with her mom..... I don't mind helping out, but I'm done if no one else is willing to. It's caused many fights between my husband and myself... I wish he'd argue with her about it instead of me because I feel I'm literally the only one in the right.
As I said... Easy to get, easy to get rid of. Pure negligence. That's a shame.
Tomorrow call the Childs
Tomorrow call the Childs school and speak to the nurse. ASK HER what she suggests...this will put a bug in her ear to also check the child.
That is EXACTLY what I would do.
BM needs to be part of treatment plan. I would tell DH as much as you feel bad for SD, your home is being infected and no sd until BM treats her home.
This is solution oriented. Who cares if BM is offended...She should be for not working as hard as you to fix this.
Funny story... I've thought
Funny story... I've thought about that! Unfortunately she's no longer in "school". She was in a head start program but supposedly "graduated"... Not sure if mom pulled her or if this is true as to mom is a habitual liar. I do know she uses a babysitter and the babysitter has to know, right? If my child continuously got lice from a babysitter or daycare center, I'd pull them... If a child kept coming to my center with lice, I'd have them kicked out. Why doesn't anyone care? I'm losing it.
They are so little and it isn
They are so little and it isn’t likely a daycare lady/babysitter would be checking. Can you talk to them?
If your DH isn’t willing to talk to her about it than ya I would just talk to her myself. It isn’t something that you can ignore because it can be passed on to you and your kids.
Also, my husband always just
Also, my husband always just wants to send hee home, but legally does he have to keep hed if it's during hia visitation time?? I was under the impression we just had to deal with it... I don't care if the woman is offended... Let her be. It's her fault.
Why isn’t DH dealing with his DD
Why care if he doing it right. Whatever he does is right. This is between him and BM NOT YOU, Because you jump in and treated SD, it became your job. First thing to learn from this, if you do anything it becomes your job. So from now on.
tell DH he in charge of SD and her lice. Telling a 5 yo anything isn’t going to do no good. BM home must be infested with lice. DH either has to treat her, or see her away from your home. Your can’t let your home get infested
Agreed 100%. Can we legit
Agreed 100%. Can we legit just send her home or are we required to treat it since it's during his visitation time? If we are allowed, I will agree to her heading home every time. I'm not doing it anymore... Half tempted to not even do the follow up treatment next week, because you're right.... Since I started treating, it's become my problem. I've treated this kid 5 times in the last few months...
We have the same problem with
We have the same problem with my SD!! There are like 8 kids living in the house where BM stays, so it's not really a surprise. They just keep passing it back and forth. MY guess is they are only treating SD's hair and not the house. You HAVE to treat the entire house. Every article of clothing, every bed sheet, stuffed animal, etc. needs to be put in plastic garbage bags to kill the bugs, then they all need to be washed in HOT water. All hair brushes, hair ties, etc need to be thrown away. If they aren't doing this, it will keep coming back. Needs to be done at your house too. Also, let DH handle his own kid's hair so he can see how major of an issue this is!
Oh girrrrl, I thought I was
Oh girrrrl, I thought I was doing everything I needed to... Because I legit have done all of those things. I'm so careful... I found an adult louse on my one year old's head with a handful of nits. Now I am pissed! After spending the evening at the laundromat, spending another $25... I finally agreed with him tonight, after being so frustrated, that from now on she can go home when she shows up with bugs. I'm not treating her lice anymore. He then says, "Well, then I'll just pretend I don't care." I replied, "I don't think you do. I really think I'm the only one that does." but what HE MEANT was pretend he doesn't care he's losing time with his kid... (he never spends time with her when she's here... So... That's a laugh)... But it was his idea. So I said he can treat her hair or send her home from now on. His choice. I asked how he can talk shit to me yet can't address the issue with mom? She's NEGLECTING their child and I don't see how he's gone this long... But, now that my one year old has (had) bugs because of this gross twat mom, I'm fucking done. Pardon my language but I'm FED UP.
Ugh yeah unfortunately no
Ugh yeah unfortunately no matter what you do at your house, if BM isn't doing the same thing at her house she's going to keep getting it. That's the problem we had too. I feel for you. I agree with you that SD can't be at the house with lice. I would be FURIOUS if my BD got it because of this. That would definitely be the final straw!!
Report it to the authorities.
Report it to the authorities. They will address BM's house.
Either that or .... shave SD's head an keep it shaved until BM gets her house fumigate along with the heads of the rest of the residents of her home.
Will anybody really do
Will anybody really do anything??? I didn't think CPS would even care! After working in a daycare witnessing and reporting actual abuse by a coworker, still no fucks given. Broken system, in WV at least!
Her hair would look better shaved compared to the hella choppy cut her mama gives her. This poor kid.
My boyfriend shaved all 4 of
My boyfriend shaved all 4 of his kids heads when they kept showing up with lice every time they visited over a couple months time. Their bio mom was livid seeing as two of them were girls age 7 and 8 at the time :/.
Oh gosh. I wouldn't shave her
Oh gosh. I wouldn't shave her head... But I totally get the feeling of being fed up to where you want to snap. Believe it or not, this situation has really taken a toll on my marriage. Pretty sad.
I fought lice for 7 months...
With my 3 younger kids. They're much harder to get rid of these days because they're resistant to the standard OTC treatments.
I finally asked their pediatrician for a prescription for spinosad and I recommend this stuff to everyone because it works. The name brand stuff is super expensive but I got the generic with insurance for $15 a bottle (got one for each kid).
All you do is put it on the kid's head for 10 minutes and then rinse off. No hours of combing to get rid of nits, nothing.
You don't have to go all out with constantly washing clothes, linens, pillows, or bagging stuffed animals. Lice can't live off the human body for over 24 hours -- this came from my mother, who was an entomologist.
You may want to throw the kids' pillows in the dryer because heat will kill them. I didn't even do that once I treated with the spinosad.
My kids have been lice free for a couple of months now.