Some one please splain me "your truth" Vs. THE truth.
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There can't be two truths.
There is only... THE truth.
I have seen a lot of "your truth" on various programs lately.
How does "your truth" Vs. THE truth work? Since there is only one truth. The one that aligns with facts.
I need some help wth this concept.
Perception. Unless you're
Perception. Unless you're dealing with math.
Same family, different responses depending on who you ask
"My dad left the family because he didn't love me" vs "husband left the family because his wife was driving him insane" vs "husband and wife divorced because they both had bad communication skills which eventually led to the breakdown of their relationship. They were both at fault"
Human are messy.
Human are messy.
IS there only one truth? If you're talking math, science, and engineering, most of that is based on facts that can be replicated to the point that we accept them as truth.
But in human interaction, emotions and perceptions and beliefs help form our own "truths." Each religion has its own "true" path to God. Yet there are many religions and therefore many paths, and maybe all or none are "true."
Ponder, along with the great philosophers, "what is truth?" It's good for the soul.
Works for me.
Good thing I am an engineer and a pragmatist. Things are relatively simple for me. Emotions and feelings are the spice of life but have no place in problem solving..... so says my "engineeric" brain.
"Engineeric" was a word my XW used to define how my dad and I thought and behaved when we were together during my first marriage. XW did not appreciate the dry sense of humor or the direct path to problem resolution. Dad and I together was too much for her to handle.
Interestingly the only time XW spent much time in our home rather than at her parent's home was when my family would visit.
I think a lot depends on
I think a lot depends on white/black thinking vs grey thinking. Hence truth can be subjective.
SO and I argue this all the
SO and I argue this all the time because he believes in THE truth, per HIS opinion whereas I see many truths based on perceptions, beliefs, philosophical leanings, etc. It's not all black and white, there's a lot of grey in there.
Truths
Can vary because people personalize their perception of "The Truth and My truth." These two terms intertwine.
Its a great shutdown to anyones argument cause "Daddio this is my truth. SM is evil" how the hell can you argue with those brazen words. You cant. Well you can, but dang it no one can dare question "My truth"
Good thread Rags
Facts..... tend to destroy the "my truth" perspective.
IMHO facts tend to destry the "my truth" perspective and highlight "the truth".
The example I have is with my own experience with the opposition speaking "their truth" in attempts to manipulate my SS. Their big one was how paying his CS was denying his three younger half sibs. It took very little to destroy that crap. $133/mo provides next to nothing for the one receivit it and denies the one paying it next to nothing. So... out comes the elementary math lesson and ... "the truth" prevails over "their truth".
I think this is why so many people who stand on the perspective of "my truth" hate the facts and are against "the truth". The truth and the facts tend to be destructive of the concept of "my truth".
But... my world has very little grey in it. I like facts. I like the binary perspective. Something is either right, or it is wrong. That keeps things simple. I like simple.
Rags, I'm sure we can all
Rags, I'm sure we can all agree that you are mostly a black and white thinker. lol
I resemble that remark!
Not always to my benefit. But... dogged pursuit of the binary model has worked pretty well for me in addressing any issues I approach. I can adjust which is probably even a more effective characteristic than the black and white mentality.
I embrace ... me!
Duplicate.
Duplicate.
I would say "your truth" is
I would say "your truth" is your experience and perception based on your point of view. A single person's truth may be very different than "the" truth.
As it pertains to steplife, i think a lot of the players are working with an edited version of the truth. Competing priorities, limited information, plus emotion often lead to Jerry Springer-like levels of Step Hell. You have to suspend emotion, take a step back, and look at the facts. IMO, it's better to have the whole truth and use that to make decisions than to just operate from yours.
I am also an engineer and a
I am also an engineer and a pragmatist. Other than mathematics and hard sciences, there is no objective truth. Black and white thinking is a symptom of narcissism, and leads to dogma and dysfunction.
Gotta love opinions.
This is why I gravitate to the hard sciences Vs the Pseudo sciences in my career. One is subject to the nearly infinate variables of opinion. Opinion has no place in science. Or in effective decisioning.
IMHO.
In the OP you refer the The
In the OP you refer the THE truth, based on your interpretation of "facts", aka Rag's Opinion. Then complain about other people's truth. Ironic.
If I see something I disagree with, I research it to find out the other side. Sometimes my opinion changes. Flexibility is the hallmark of mental health
Flexibility I certainly agree
Flexibility I certainly agree can be a positive characteristic. Though it can be confused with delusion. That is why I like facts.
Past behavior and performance being the best predictor of future behavior and performance, I give those things heavy credibility over feelings and words. I suppose my perspectice ihas resulted in a "show me, don't tell me." position.
In our blended family adventure this proved to be a great tool for keeping the opposition contained and in limiting their toxicity, or at least their ability to use their toxicity to manipulate my Skid and my DW. They learned to fear and hate Court because they knew that their noses would be rubbed in the facts rather than their manipulative crap being allowed to run unfettered.
We are all a composit of our experiences. I do agree that considering the perspective of all sides of a sitaution is valuable. I do that. Sometime my opinion changes as well. If the facts, the verifyable unequivocal facts, as well as mitigating events and circumstances, support that change as reasonable. It does happen periodically, though not all that regularly.
I suppose I struggle a bit with interpretation of facts. They are what they are. I generally consider the why of the facts, at least when considering human behavior, to be a waste of time and they are a distraction from effectively moving through a people problem. Which is one of those things that makes me go Hmmmmm? considering that RCFA, FMEA, troubleshooting, etc... are a big part of my profession. At least on the technology, equipemnt, organizational, and individual personnel levels. Driving continual asset and organizational performance optimization is my baleywik. Human/expert input is a key part of success in my profession. So is evolving practices and processes over time. Which has also driven my career to incorporate certifications in change agency and change management. Particularly in developing and employing behavioral accountability systems in executing best practice based processes.
I am also highly intuitive and spend a lot of time analyzing the accuracy of my intuitive decisioning as I drive change and optimization of performance. I love people. I detest idiots and those who are toxic and undermine broad organizational success. I do not consider idiots and the toxic as people, they are barriers to be overcome. Intellectually I do recognize them as people with basic human worth though beyond that I give them little thought.
My DW does upon occasion rein me in to put on my husband, son, dad, family hat rather than my engineeric performance optimization hat.
It may be surprising that lexibility is much of what I do. Flexibility in delivering to specific results, goals, and targeted outcomes.
What would you advise on how to moderate those characteristics in their application in the blended family environment? My zero tolerance total confrontation of bullshit model has worked very well in my own blended family situation. It is of course not universally applicable. What types of things would you look for as adjustment influences?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.