So I thought I'd do something nice...
My SS just graduated High School. And I thought, instead of a traditional guest book at his party, I'd have everyone write him a letter and I am making a Memory Book for him to hold onto. It has photos of his childhood, and letters that everyone wrote to him. Most thought it was a wonderful idea. Others say he is too unappreciative and will just chuck it in the trash. :-( I am making it as we speak, and I am hoping beyond hope that I am right. Even if he doesn't appreciate now, I think he will later. I guess I am fighting a losing battle because I am also sending out the Thank you cards from his party. He took the cash from the cards and pretty much left everything else behind. 
Please tell me I am not an idiot for trying. I was raised quite differently from him, I guess. We were taught to mind, to appreciate, and to live with a grateful heart. I kind of want to let SS have it for being greedy and selfish. But, alas, it won't do any good. And I am going to keep making the book. And getting hand cramps from writing the cards. What do you all think? Would you love to have this in your posession?
Mmm- there is a difference
Mmm- there is a difference between doing things for someone else, and doing it for yourself. You say you are hoping beyond hope- it may pay off, but if your relationship is strained it may be a step too far for him, as it seems very personal. If any of the letters and photos are from before you knew him then I would steer clear, but you are already committed because you seem to want to do it.
To be frank I think you are being a bit of an idiot writing his thank-you letters, this is something I would never do, and clearly something not important to him.
You want to let him have it for being greedy and selfish- why? It sounds as if you have a degree of bitterness towrds him and if he knows this your gift won't be appreciated- the fact that you were taught to live with a grateful heart will mean nothing to him.
I would love someone to give me this, of course, but only if it was given with genuine regard and affection, and not if there was some underlying resentment behind it.
For some reason you think
For some reason you think that SS's behavior is a reflection on you. Its not, its on his mother and father. If you must write thank you notes, do it to those closest to you and make them from you, not SS.