She's 14 going on 15 - DH thinks she's old enough to run FREE
SD14 came to live w/ us at 13 she will be 15 in 3 months. Since she has moved in w/ her daddy (BM was done w/ her and her SF wanted her out) She has had sex 3 maybe 4 times; once for sure in our home while MIL was watching the kids (we have 4 total). She has been caught stealing from store; then again from myself and my daughter; she posts picuters of herself of her whole chest exposed then loves it when 40+ guys post about her chest..First of all I know teenagers go through this stuff; my complaint isn't really about her it's about DH's complete lack of caring about all this. More recently she made a FB post about guys sleeping over her friends house; through the grapevine I heard her parents let boys spend the night (GREAT!)
SD talks openly to neighborhood boys and my BD12 about sex and how she's going to do stuff etc.......
I brought this up to DH last night that I was concerned and asked if her really thought this parent would let SD BF sleep over w/o us knowing........WELL that was it; all hell broke loose. He said "Here we go again....SD is this SD is that - You are such a snoop - I cna't control everything she does! She is almost 15 years old - she's going to do this stuff" it progresivley got worse. I apologized for mentioning it and ate my dinner in my room by myself.
I got a sad look from my BD who know everthing I said was true..........I'm done w/ this!
Why can't DH see or why doesn't he care??
I did make DH take her to get the shot......
lol not laughing at YOU but
lol not laughing at YOU but your DH's response... Sounds like my DH years ago... lol Now I get the last laugh... "I hated your kid, according to you and that's why I told you that she was out of control...NOW you get to see your loser kid at 17, in 9th grade with a 1yr old baby..." lol I guess I cared more about her than any of her parents did... lol
Sorry but he is an idiot.
Sorry but he is an idiot. You can control them at this age. He just chooses not to be bothered. I have a 17 year old son and I know where he is at all times. Trust is earned and he has earned it, but I am still vigilant. My SD15 is being raised by BM same as your SD. No rules or guidelines. So we have in our pre-nup that no grandchild will be my responsibility unless I choose. I do not want her inevitable offspring in my house.
Your husband is a fool. She is having sex and it can be stopped. She should be going nowhere and have no access to the internet.
I agree; but he says...what
I agree; but he says...what do you want to do chain her up and lock her up she's a teenager - she will do this stuff!
It makes me so mad and disgusted; I would never allow my child to do this
Yes - She stays in her room
Yes - She stays in her room until she earns the privilege of freedom...Sorry but this easy, the hard put is not bending on the punishment. She has been allowed to behave this way. She needs to be re-trained on what is appropriate behavior. When we thought SD15 was coming back we had a plan in place. The start of it, was getting rid of all of her clothes and grounding her from her social life. DH was on board. Thankfully she is not coming back...Fingers crossed..
You have to take away all privileges, she has not earned them. And everytime she talks about sex, she goes to her room. Just like a dog that chews or pees in the house, they go in their cage...
Sorry, but if she is going to behave this way, she needs to be starting back at the basics...
I agree w/ you
I agree w/ you 100%........but if DH says........"this is normal for a 14/15 year old and I am overreacting" then what do I do?
I just told him that I don't like to except things as they are and I want our kids to give more then they do; but if he doesn't care then F* it why should I..........right??
My BD can't believe that BD said those things!! I Raised her better then that.....I guess I just look at MY 12 Year old and can't imagine her doing the nasty thing SD did!!!! She slept w/ three people w/in a few months........my BD hasn't even KISSED a Boy yet!!!!!!!! UGH
Thank you! I know I have to
Thank you! I know I have to let go...It is just hard!! I figure if she is putting it on FB; she WANTS to get caught but DH just lets it go! he thinks I am psyco because I "check up" on my kids; I have made my BD12 almost 13 remove a lot of stuff I didn't like (bad words; bad stuff about people) I thought parents where supposed to look after their children?? I do it and I get called a stalker!?!? I just thought since he was pig in high school and just used as many girls as he could he would want to protect his daughter - but he is enabling her to be just like him! You are right; I am going to just turn the other cheek - I just don't know how!?!?