School Projects
Forums:
How do you handle them?
Does it all fall on the CP to make sure they get done, or is it a shared responsibility? DH and BM have 50/50. BM doesn't do ANY school work on her time. She says she does, but so far, nothing has happened/been done on her time. We do day to day work, and try to do projects, but there's not enough time to do it all.
What's the best route?
I get your point. DH does
I get your point. DH does help, not do. I have taken a step back, as it had fallen on me to keep things moving forward, and it was just making me angry and resentful.
I ask, as skid has three projects to do as of today. She has a learning plan, as she has a disability. DH has made sure work has gotten done. All projects went home on BM's time, but nothing has gotten done at BM's house. Skid is now having projects assigned on a regular basis as well as homework over the weekend. We don't have them during that time, so there have been quite a few missing assignments missing on Bm's time.
If DH asks, can you make sure that skid works on X this weekend, BM gets super defensive that he's telling her how to spend her time with the skid. I get that it's BM's "time" but the kid has a project. It's the kids time too, and they need to start learning how to balance their time.
It just seems like everything is turning into a big deal again. Nothing is good enough for BM, and she just doesn't see the need to be involved in school work, but then she throws in Dh's face that her district would have been better for the skids and she's concerned about their future education. If she really cared, why not care about their present education that will affect their future education?
Because she DOESN'T care.
Because she DOESN'T care. It's all too familiar. And a shame. We had the same bio mom. Same sham story of how much work they did on her time when it wasn't done. Same "don't tell me how to spend my time with them" baloney.
She doesn't care.
And, I now know this to be true... You can't care either. She will sabotage your efforts. I promise.
But, your husband can instruct his child on expectations in your house. He can sit with his child and see the work is done. And he can explain to his child that time at mom's is not a free pass to no homework. But only he can do this.
It's sickening to care more as the stepparent. I understand. I really do. But you should step away from this for your own sake.
Your situation sounds very
Your situation sounds very similar to ours as far as the routine that has been set. We have tried to set a schedule for the kids that's written down, so that at BM's they could set a schedule for themselves. The one skid will get work done, the other, nothing.
I guess part of me struggles as I am in education, and I know that there's going to be more issues if it isn't stopped now. DH cares, but he honestly doesn't know how to do some of the things (he is not computer savvy, and today, you kinda have to be, when your grade depends on it.)
Skid is capable, but needs guidance. Sitting there to answer questions or make sure she is working doesn't seem like too much to ask. I guess it is. I need to learn how to not care.
Since this is making you
Since this is making you angry and resentful you have to remember that a million kids are being raised today without your help. Most will turn out at least OK as will your steps - without your help.
Remind your husband to tell his ex-wife that working with a kid on a school project is about as quality as quality time can get. Watching a parent parenting is how children learn how to be a parent - not while the kid is at a park swing or Disneyland.
Looking back as a non-custodial bio-parent I think I would have loved it if my kid saved their school projects to do or at least finish while at my place.