For the love of pete!
Why does everything have to be so difficult?
Drop off time, should be on time. But it's not. Not even close.
Electronics should be age appropriate. What 10 year old needs a cell phone, ipod, tablet, and mp3 player? Evidently ours does. Why? Because BM says so. We request the stuff stays there. BM sends it anyway. We have a place to put it, and the kid sneaks it out of there. Why? BM said (according to child) "it's her (the kid's property, and we can't touch it."
School work is supposed to be done, this included reading. Kid have a project due after break. Nothing's been done--not even the reading. Why? "BM says you guys do school work. I don't have to do any work over at her house." Knowing BM, it's not too far fetched to believe.
I'm venting because I'm frustrated. We are supposed to be 50/50 but it's more 70-75 to 30-25. Why? Because BM can't/won't keep the kids on her time. I'm over the BS. I'm over being responsible. I'm not even sure I want kids of my own anymore--likely not an issue as we don't even have time for "one-on-one time" any more.
The sad thing is that the
The sad thing is that the kids have a mom AND a stepmom who don't want them there. If the time is 70-75% you should have a certain amount of influence over them and what the bm says shouldn't matter. You can't have them the majority of the time and then complain about how they are behaving AND blame it on bm. Someone has to take responsibility here and realize his/her actions affect the children. My sd who is now 21 never stood a chance because her dad blamed her mom and her mom blamed her dad for her behavior, and neither did anything to help. Lock up the electronics if you must and make them do their school work. If Dad needs to stand over them, then Dad stands over them.
I didn't say I didn't want
I didn't say I didn't want them here. I struggle with them when they return from BM's as they are going from one 'home' to another. One with very few limitations and one where there are rules and structure.
The kids know the expectations here. When they are here for a week and a half at a time, they know what to do, and there aren't any issues. However the first day or day and a half back is always a battle. The youngest argues about everything. She won't listen, as she is the one in charge at her mom's house. That's not the case. If DH were here, then he would deal with it. He's not. He's at work--which is why the kids are supposed to be with BM. She can't figure out how to get a babysitter, and she considers me "free child care" so they come here.
DH chewed the kid out, but over the phone. I shouldn't be put in this situation. I am becoming resentful, as I am continuously expected to pick up her slack--and deal with a disrespectful child in the process.
They listen to BM, as BM is the 'fun' parent. No rules, no responsibility, no work; whereas our house is the structured one with rewards and consequences. I've tried for a while to be the "bigger" person and not stoop to her level--but BM is making it so difficult to not speak my mind.