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Sad custody story

Still Have Hope's picture

A friend of DH's passed away last year. Friend had a mentally disabled son, who was 23 at time his dad died. Father had full custody since boy was 2. BM walked out saying she couldn't handle a disabled child. They divorce. Friend remarries when son is 5. They have 2 daughters, raise son and have a happy life. BM sees son a grand total of 11 times in 21 years.
When son is 18, Dad and SM go to court to set up joint guardianship since he has the mental age of 10 yr. old. BM went to court to sign off on guardianship papers giving custody to Dad and SM.
Fast forward to present. SM is served at her husband's funeral for custody of the son. SM thinks it will be okay since BM signed over guardianship. No,judge takes 20 minutes to revoke guardianship and gives son to BM immediately. The boy has 2 teenage half-sisters who dote on him, and a SM who raised him since 5 who are no longer allowed to see him unless BM agrees.
BM lets SM know thru her attorney that visitation can be arranged if SM wishes to pay support for the son.
The son get a disability check due to his condition, but BM wants part of father's estate.
I have never seen a woman so devastated as this SM was after the judge's decision. So much for family courts looking out for the best interest of the child or in this case dependent son, who is now in the custody of a woman he barely remembers.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

It kind of falls under the same umbrella as biological parents going to court to get back kids they gave up for adoption. The bio parents usually come out ahead. (this is why people to go other countries to adopt!) No matter what we do as SM's, we are NOT the parent, never will be in the eyes of the law. The BM, no matter how rotten she was, is still their mother. Great, ain't it?

12yrstepmonster's picture

I agree with blueeyedangel, however I would add that she would put him into a home the minute SM settles with BM over the bd's estate. What judge in their right mind! I think I would spend every last dollar of the estate fighting the custody.

Still Have Hope's picture

SM would like to fight it but her lawyer said that judges just will not take a kid from his BM unless there is evidence of extreme abuse, especially since she is just the stepmom. She would like to fight it but needs the money she was left to raise her 2 daughters now that she is without a husband. I have a feeling BM would not be interested on having custody if her son did not get a disability check.