role reversal, priorities of BM vs BD?
Last night I took a long walk and pondered a comment made my steptwins (site name, not that I have step twins because I might shoot myself, one is too many). Her comment was true, basically about BF's/DH's priorities 1. biokids 2. BM 3. you. That is true in my life for sure. It seems to me that when I think about the BM, and BMs in general, that HER list of priorities is either 1. herself 2. biokids 3. new boyfriend 4. ex husband/biodad or 1. herself 2. new boyfriend 3. biokids 4. ex husband/biodad. It seems her only concern for biodad/ex is assuring a constant flow of money, free babysitting, free chauffer, and someone to bitch at. Why is this? I would have thought dads would move on, find something better, wipe their hands clean. Instead, reading this site, I see that the biodads are filled with guilt, never stop catering to BM, bend over backward forever to keep her happy while the biomoms move on in body and spirit, guilt free and couldn't care less about biodad's needs and desires. What's up with that?
I like your analysis of the
I like your analysis of the BM's priorities. She's ALWAYS first and foremost. I don't even think the skids are a 2 or 3 priority. I've never seen it happen in the 8 years I've been around them anyway. She's the opposite of me when I was divorced and a single parent. I was house-poor & ex moved out-of-state so I had full-time BD. Never expected extra money or help w/her b.c. he was remarried & moved far away. My life revolved around her (BD) back then & I didn't think twice about it as her BM. When I finally sold the house I cashed in big time & all my frugality paid off for me & BD's college needs.