Geez I feel for you big time!! My SS (11 Years)of 2 and a half years just told me 7 weeks ago he hates my guts! We never had a great relationship but did have some good times and he told me he faked them all. I felt so upset by this when he said he hates me that I just didn't know what to feel.

I can only imagine if he had written those terrible things about me how I would feel. I felt enough anger for the things he said and they were not violent towards me so you must be fuming.

I think you need to take some action, this girl cannot live under your roof if she has even the nerve to write that she wants to murder you in your sleep!! You need to show her dad right away and get her into immediate counselling or phone her mother and tell her not to send her back until you and DH work out what you will do. If you are able to talk to BM in a civil manner then discuss it with her, if not, don't tell her b/c she is probably promoting this behaviour.

The feelings she has for you are probably only there because she wants to be with her mum and maybe she feels rejected by her?? I don't know your story so I can't give you great advice but I would not take this lightly. How old is she? Should she even use that language? And how disrespectful regardless of what has gone on if you have taken care of her. Let us know how you go and best of luck!

Catch xx

Our 9yo BS calls us the Witch and Warlock in his journal. But I noticed he only writes those things when he's mad at us for punishing him for something! I'm sure all kids do/think this at some time on some level.

The writing is cathartic for them, just like it is for us to write here. She's twelve, so she's getting to THAT age... those pre-teen and teenage years are a bear. I had a "good" relationship with my mom growing up, too, but as a teenager, I'm sure I wished she'd drop dead at least once a week. Alas, she never did.

I think you have to address it somehow, because this one actually talks about killing you, but you have to do it in such a way that she doesn't know you've read her writings. If she having a problem and you let her know that you read what she wrote, then she won't feel safe writing anymore and it sounds like she needs that outlet.

~ Anne ~

Nothing can come of nothing.
(Shakespeare, King Lear)

This is a really touchy subject. Should it come from you, or DH? Should you mention that you found the book and read it, or just address the issue? She might hate you all even more if she thinks you've been snooping through her stuff. You might want to seek the advice of a professional before you guys dive into this.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

My SS's tell me they hate and wish I would die. One has even gone as far as describing how he would like to kill me. I was stunned, shocked, upset, confused, hurt, scared. Don't I show how much I love them? Then I decided that the next time he said something so mean, I would give him a dose of reality. In the real world, if you talk about someone like that, they cease to do anything for you. They refuse to respond to you in any way. It took two full days of this, and it was hard but he got the message that things were not as bad as they seemed and they could always get a lot worse. Most of his attitude came from his BM. As for the writings, you don't have to let her know you read anyting like that. Tell her you heard her talking in her sleep, or that you've noticed some slight change in her behavior that make you think she isn't happy anymore. Good Luck, hon. I know this is not easy. Love all my kids.

It's my personal opinion that children are not entitled to that brand of privacy. Let me clarify, when they are changing their clothes ect ect ect..of course..I dont just barge into their rooms, I knock first ect..

However, If I think something is going on with one of my kids.. I will not hesitate to do what ever it takes to get to the bottom of it, including going throught their things and reading their writtings. My right to know what is going on with my child over rides any right to privacy they have until they are adults and no longer under my roof.

As for what you read coming from your step daughter...This isn't uncommon at the age she is getting to be..When I was that age and my mom busted me I used to sit in my room and wish all manner of hateful things on my own mother.. I wished she'd get hit by a truck...Oh yeah, all of that stuff. Did I ever write that I felt like offing my mother in her sleep?? OF COURSE and all manner of other horrible things..Bottom line, I was an adolesent..Many teens and preteens feel that way about a parent at one time or another but don't follow through with it.

I have raised three girls, my two now 22 and 15 1/2 and my 10 year old step daughter...The general rule is that their bedroom is their place to say whatever they want and vent whatever they want..They just better make sure they don't say it loud enough that I over hear it.

Really, it's not something that I would be to concerned about..But if you are concerned put a lock on your bedroom door..Writting is often times a vent release for adolesencts and us adults..That's why most of us are here. I have written on this blog that I have felt like strangling my step daughter and wanted to slap her lips off her face...But, I would never actually do that...It's just venting my feelings and frustrations which are healthy things to do..

I would put the journal back where it is and not say anything to DH and SD about it.. #1 it's only going to blow up in your face.. #2..it won't be there down the road when something is going on with SD and you want to get to the bottom of it..

I would, however, insist on counselling for her and the family..With what's going on with her BM counseling is in order anyway and that would be the reason I would use to suggest the counseling..In private, you can discuss the journal issue with her counselor and make the counselor aware of it..And the counselor can help her get to the bottom of her issues with out the back fire of bring up the journal ect..

No one else mentioned it so I just thought I would add that the Burn Book is in the movie Mean Girls with Linsay Lowan. It says all types of nasty things about the teachers and kids at her school. If you hadn't seen the movie perhaps you could watch it and see if that helps you understand anything she is going through. Other than that she may just be trying to be cool and do what they do.

Catch xx