Refusing Contact
Hi guys,
So after a hard few months with BM constantly ringing, and a lot of arguments and flips between SS and BM, SS has landed at ours last week for the foreseeable future. OH and I have had a much better and easier week with him at ours, and SS has been so much happier. But BM has obviously been asking SS to ring her etc (am not sure why she won't ring SS tbh, seeing as she's the adult and he's 11!) but he is refusing point blank to chat to BM or her partner.
OH and I have obviously discussed and agreed that it's the best thing to just stick to the old plan (he visited us on Thursdays and every other weekend) but vice versa (so visiting her on Thursdays and every other weekend). This weekend coming is our weekend....so I've suggested we have him go to BM's on Thursday, because it's just for one night, and would be easier than going for the whole weekend to begin with. We are going to talk to SS tonight. But he will refuse. He doesn't want anything to do with BM or her partner atm, but OH and I also know he has to go there, she's entitled to see him, and for our own relationship we need space every now and then.
Any tips on how to go around this?
We're going to chat with SS tonight about all these logistics, and hopefully get him to chat to BM on the phone.
Thanks!
What does your CO say?
What does your CO say?
Why does your SS have a say? If his mom calls, he is 11 not 2, he can stop what he is doing and talk to his mom for 5 minutes.
People need to stop giving kids a choice. If there is no safety related reason that he can't go to BM's then he needs to go. Just like if the situation was reversed. Both parents need to be active in their children's lives. It doesn't matter what SS thinks he wants.
Not ok to support any kid who
Not ok to support any kid who 'refuses' to talk to the other parent.
Absent of abuse or neglect whereby 1 parent is in the clinker and has a felony for crimes they have been convicted of.
DADS obligation (or moms) is to sit the kid down, pick up the phone and be decent during a brief call.
The adults should be the ones
The adults should be the ones calling the kids.
If the calls from a parent do not interfere with visitation the kid should take the call.
If the calls are excessive then the resident parent needs to deal with the interfering parent.
Kids should get no say in visitation.