I hate when inlaws do this. Out of respect for you they should not be on display.

When I was married to my exh, his parents had a collage up of him, his ex and their daughter. On display right when you walk in the house. You can't miss it! I have since divorced him. He is now remarried to a new girl and they have a baby together. Those old pictures are still up on their wall!!! He has been married twice since then, I think its time to put up new pictures!! I feel bad for his new wife because she goes over there all the time.

He should tell them to take the pictures down out of respect for you!

I know I'll be in the minority here, but I say it's not worth it. Pick your battles -- this one doesn't really matter.

My in laws did the same thing. She had a picture of just BM and DH. DH asked MIL nicely to take it down and about 3 months later it was still there. So one day DH went over there when MIL was at work and took it down and threw it in the trash! LOL!

My mil had one when they had been divorced for many years. I have given her a framed family pic to replace it. It worked for me to get the point across.

I think karjam's DH's actions are reasonable given the situation.
Really, what would you do if your mother insisted on putting a picture of you and an ex up on display in her house?
Having a pic of BM up is inconsiderate. You should ask DH to talk to your MIL and get her to take it down. He should know that it would make up uncomfortable in his mother's house but sometimes men choose to be clueless because it's the path of least resistance.
Maybe MIL forgot it was up? But probably not... You are a guest in her house (and the woman her son loves!!) and as a host (and mother) she should be considerate and try and make you comfortable in her house - she should realise that would increase her chances of seening her grandkids!

My husband and BM to SS (now 7) split before he was even born. Last year (husband and I have been together, married, over 6 years), she sent pictures of SS7 to my in laws house. This is common practice.... we all usually share photos when we get professionals done with her (the ones where ONLY SS7 are in them). The pictures she sent to my in laws? Of her and SS7, and her younger son (to another man). In laws promptly displayed it. WTH?

The first dinner I went to at my in laws house to meet them, DH and BM's wedding photos were still displayed in multiple rooms of their house. After DH and I became serious, she did take them down, at DH's request, and now keeps them in a scrapbook she keeps for SS7. This new practice is fine by me. I want him to have those memories, there's just no reason any of her, from any time, should be displayed in my in laws home, in my opinion.

If you find away to bring this up and get the photo taken down, please share. I'm not sure how to get my in laws to take down the photo of her from their home. I feel like I don't have a 'right', while at the same time, I think that it's wrong.

OK- different perspective-

People who tend to keep and display pictures are displaying good memories....

My parents are like that... and they still have pics of my with my ex and kids, looking all happy, on display in there home. I don't want it in my home, but it's there home......

Why does honoring good memories and relationships from the past have to be an affront to those in the present? I have good memories with my ex inlaws, with my children's father, with others in my life that are no longer part of it. Those relationships helped shape me into who I am.... I don't feel a need to honor them by displaying a picture, but some people do.... it's their way of remembering their journey.

If they are otherwise pleasant and respectful to you, I wouldn't be upset by pictures. Isn't it awesome that your DH and his kids have some good memories as a family? Isn't it nice that they are so healed from a horrible situation that they are able to peacefully acknowledge good times?

My ILs have one up like that.
I don't give a shit.
He's MY husband now! And I'm not insecure.

I find this to be very rude of your MIL - what happens when your DS gets a little older and wants to know who the lady is in the picture with his dad - it would make me uncomfortable and since you see them at least twice a week - perhaps you could talk to your MIL and tell her in a nice way how you feel.

I remember once going to my sister's house and she had a photo album of her ex-boyfriend and I turned to her and asked her why the photo album was out with all the other family albums (I could see my sister keeping the album up in the attic or in a place that was not with all the other albums that had her husband and kids) she said I don't see the big deal about it and so I said I am sure that your husband does not like the album there. She said "I never thought of that - I will ask him" She did talk to him about it he did not like it and she put it away.

So maybe your MIL just needs to know that the picture makes you uncomfortable and hopefully she will just volunteer to take it down. I think it also sends a message to your SS that his grandparents still want his mom and dad to be together - as someone mentioned above the bond is with her grandkids not with the ex-wife!!

I do not think this is about someone being insecure - the real issue is MIL should be more respectful of DH and his 2nd wife and take down the happy family picture of the first wife - in my book this is totally inappropriate on MIL's part.

I'd just get a new one taken - and have DH say here - this is to replace that old one - I am sure he doesn't want to see it either...but they don't think like us...would they like to look at pics of your ex's in their inlaws home? Nope...

This has been a major topic lately with the photos...I'd have them removed promptly because I think New memories should be made - for all we know they were at war right after the photo was taken fighting in the middle of Sears where they had their pics taken lol.

I've been thinking about this ALOT lately...my grandmother has a picture in a collage frame in a back room in her house with my brother, his ex, and their first baby. It bothers me...his ex is remarried and she and her hubby just had a baby of their own...my brother and their ex named my nephew after my brother...he is the 4th...it's bad enough his poor stepdad has to endure saying her ex's name over and over again...I wouldn't want him to have to suffer from pictures too! lol - luckily - he and my brother don't have much contact. And I know his ex doesn't keep pictures. My mom and dad have all pictures of the ex put away in an album - they think it's disrespectful for his new girlfriend to have to face old memories...his new girl is really good with the kids but doesn't have to deal with the ex at all. I am actually going to get a picture of my niece and nephew and take the old photo out of the frame and replace it for the new girlfriend's sake - my grandma won't care - she doesn't really venture into that room other than to do her ironing - and I am sure she doesn't think about it at all - and it's missing my niece anyway!

I don't know why these inlaws think it's a great idea to keep the pictures...pictures can easily be replaced.

I think people should let others decorate their homes as they wish. You don't run your ILs home, and they don't run yours.

A few weeks ago I finally plucked up the courage to ask my boyfriend (he is a widower and his late wife died nearly 3 years ago now) to move the wedding pic…….. he was very quiet when I said what I did (you know about maybe letting the eldest daughter have it in her room and replacing it with the big one from the mantel piece etc, etc) …….. then he said ‘well I might need a bit of time with that one…… I will need to explain why I am taking it down to the girls, as I can’t just take it down because they will say ‘why did you take that down daddy?’………. I tried to explain that I didn’t want to upset him or the girls but didn’t think it was fair etc etc etc, (all said very nicely)…… he said ‘but my mum bought me that as a birthday present’ – I just said ‘ok, but it does make me feel very uncomfortable’…… he said ‘ok, we’ll sort it out’………. Then I changed the subject and tried to lighten the conversation………..

I broke down in tears about it (for the second time) when we were away on hols 2 weeks ago and said I didn’t think I could go down there anymore until the pic is removed – but I don’t think he remembers me saying that bit……..

I have mentioned the removal of the pic twice now (the second time as described above) that was a week ago – not sure whether or not to bring the subject up again or leave it. I don’t want to sound like I am nagging him though but I want that pic gone! Not sure if I should remind him though to take it down before I visit again this weekend?

My parents don't decorate with pics of my exh, but even if they did, who am I to tell them what they can & cannot have in their home?

I wouldn't want to see it, but out of respect I'd keep my lips zipped & make a point not to look at it. I carry the same frame of mind in their home that I expect people to carry in mine. Don't like it, don't look. If it's too hard to ignore, don't come to my house.

MIL has a framed "gift" hanging on her dining room hall from DH, BM, & SS. It's not a picture. It's a poem about Angel Mom's. (You know, BM has this sacreligious-type obsession with angels, cherubs, & carousel horses/unicorns.) At the bottom of the poem it's signed from each of them.

BM's off obsession has created an instant throw-up-in-my-mouth reaction when I see the cheesey Dollar Store angel & cherub figurines & this Heavenly poem from the Devil. It strikes a nerve deep in my soul. But, MIL likes the poem enough to let it decorate her dining room. It's been there for years. It isn't like she put it there to spite me.

I would never mutter a word to her about it. I've never even mentioned the nasty taste it leaves to DH...because it's not my place to decide what she can or cannot have in her home. I simply take a drink of water to wash the aftertaste out of my mouth & avoid visual contact with it for the length of my stay.

This happened to my mom. My dad was married before her and his mother left that picture up until I was about 7. My mom and g-ma have never had a great relationship, but it took my mother refusing to go to family events to get the picture down. Lucky for me, everyone in my DF's family seems to hate his baby mama, so I don't have to see her face every time I go

BlueBelle....but it IS disrespectful to the new marriage.

I gotta look at the same shit at SO brothers "Family" wall. And we go there damn near every weekend. Same with at his parents on his mother's computer. My SO won't say anything. Funny when my SO found pictures from my former BF he asked me why I was holding onto them. I wasn't holding onto them. I never get on my computer so I just don't think about them on there in a folder. But for him I deleted 6 years of my life. WHY? Because it's the past and I'm over it. I wish he damn family would get over his!

Thank you buterfly. It took me refusing to go to my DH's dad's house for almost 5 months to have the picture of cow removed. It made me uncomfortable. I cannot help how I feel. The woman is a thorn in my side as it is! I don't want to see her ugly face.

It is DH place to ask his parents to puyt the picure away out of respect for his wife. If you bring it up it may lead t problems with them. Tell DH how you feel and ask (insist) he request they put the picture away. I understand how you feel. I don't understand how DH has divorced and moved on with a new wife, how is he not uncomfortable with it, and why hasn't he already asked his parents to put the photo away. Perhaps give them a memories book and ask them to put these type of photos in it for SS when he is older.

It sucks having to look at them, but just ignore it... My in-laws have pictures of BM on her birthday before I met my husband on their facebook. I just laugh now.

Michelle......Tell him that if he wants you to move in and make his place your home, then the pic and the dressing gown need to GO. It is not unkind....it has been three years.

Personally I think it is rude for an mil keep up the past bagage. As someone said why would you keep something up when someone is trying to heal from a divorce? Last thing you want to see is the person you was married to hanging on the wall or sitting on a desk.

Guess I was lucky. My MIL went to all the pictures that the ex was in and cut her out. She even gave me a picture she cut the ex out of and asked me " did I think she had a good looking son even back then?" That move by her took me for a surprise.

My Aunt did the same thing when her two son got a divorce with the first wives. Those pictures came down. The only picture were kept up was the son and grandsons.

My grandmother did the same for my mother. The exwife pictures came down.

We went to my sister's for Easter. When we got to her apartment (first time I've been there since she moved), I noticed she had a picture from my first wedding on her entertainment center. It was my ex, me and my whole family - siblings, sister in law and two nieces. It is the last family picture we have, and the last one that will ever have my oldest brother in it because he passed away in December 2010. While I hoped that FDH wouldn't notice it, he mentioned in on the way home. I felt horrible for him. He said it was a little weird, but he wasn't upset. He realized why she still had it. It may be a picture of me an my ex, but it also a picture of my family at the time, including my brother who is no longer with us.

I talked to my sister later that night and she said she realized it after we got there and couldn't figure out a way to move it without making it obvious. She said she was just hoping that FDH wouldn't notice. She did say that she moved it into her computer room so it's a little less "public".

Both of my brothers are on their 2nd wives and my parents keep all the wedding pics from the first because they are family pics. although not on display.
my ffil was sending xmas cards to my fdh at his new address to him and his ex wife even though id been with him for two xmas's. fdhexplained to him that bm is psycho and his cards were not appropriate or appreciated and were an insult to me. Ffil then asked for him to send up photos of us (he's in Scotland were in London) for his mantle piece.
I think your partner would do well to mention it. And maybe give them a nice family pic that's more acceptable to display. its prob just there because its always been and the grandkid is a baby in it.