Pick up time not specified.
Forums:
I'm curious of what the Orders say regarding pick up times when you're in a city.
We moved from the country to the city (we all did). Non custodial mom now refuses to give an actual pick up time (started out with not wanting to share her work schedule). She gives one and two hour estimations. So, since this city life is new, I have to wonder what the court will think about her refusing to say when.
When we were in the county and she lived a few blocks down the road we had it written into the order that she couldn't be more than 15 minutes late because she was pulling the same thing. The judge took it out when we lived in different locations.
DF picks his girls up at 5:30
DF picks his girls up at 5:30 on Friday and returns trhem at 4 on Sunday.
If he is 30 minutes late for pick up(without calling) BM can cancel that visit. If he's 30 minutes late on return day(without calling) BM can cancel the next visit. We're in NYC.
We had a schedule but it's
We had a schedule but it's been altered due to her new employment status. So the Order says she picks the kid up at noon on Wednesdays, since she become employed (and refuses to share her schedule) she's been saying she'll be here sometime between 4:30 and 6:30 because of unpredictable traffic patterns.
It's BS. We know it. It's something she can jerk us around on. It's frustrating, dismissive, rude ... we aren't dealing with normal. This has been going on in some fashion since they split 9 years ago.
So, I'm interested in knowing, what do they do in big cities?
I should also note that when we had the 15 min. window, she would try and get us to enforce it (20 minutes late for a pick up 5 blocks from her house). If she can she will remind us that we lack the golden uterus that gave birth to that boy.
BM lives about an hour away
BM lives about an hour away from us,... She moved away from the kids...
There is an exact time. We arrive early sometimes to pick up the kids, she has made us wait until "the atomic clock" says exactly that time before the kids come out...
Tell her an exact time. None of this "2 hour" time frames. 4:30pm to 6:30pm. If sometimes she thinks it wil take her until 6:30pm, make 6:30pm the pick up time...
If she had to be at court at 2:30pm, what is she going to tell the judge? " um depending on traffic patterns, ill be there between 1:30pm and 3:30pm" yeah right,... When adults make appointments for times, we all have to rearrange our schedules to make the time period, even if that means leaving early to accommodate traffic....
"If she had to be at court at
"If she had to be at court at 2:30pm, what is she going to tell the judge? " um depending on traffic patterns, ill be there between 1:30pm and 3:30pm" yeah right,... When adults make appointments for times, we all have to rearrange our schedules to make the time period, even if that means leaving early to accommodate traffic...."
LOL. Great example!
When she was hours away she was on time. Since the judge said she could be there any time to get the kid because of the distance, she ran with it when she moved here. Now we are mid way between her work and her apartment.
Its 100% true,... I arrived
Its 100% true,... I arrived 30min early for a job interview once to make sure I was not late for it. I say in my car at the gas station down the road until the time of the appointment....
When adults make appointments the responsible adult thing to do is to show up at the time specified
She won't share her work
She won't share her work schedule so we're not sure exactly what time she's leaving. We tossed out a time as the designated pick up time, they didn't respond to it. This most recent event was for her to declare what time she planned to get the kid for vacation.
She's playing games. We all know that. But, then you second guess yourself ... should there be a buffer? But ... then again, give her an option and she'll exploit it.