Parenting books - have they helped any guilt ridden dads?
Has anyone tried finding some good parenting books? Not step parenting, not blended family, not 2nd marriage. Just good old fashioned 'I want to be a good parent' books.
And then given them to the Guilty-Lax-Dads in their life to study/learn from?
Seriously considering doing this because it seems that although raising a child for 12 yrs has taught me to BE A GOOD PARENT (trial & error method), it doesn't seem DH has learned any of this. It all seems to come as a surprise to him. He doesn't see that the huffs from a 10yo that aren't checked up become eye-rolls of a 12 yo which then becomes the 14 yo that slams doors & gets in your face. Then it's 'Where did that come from?'
Ummm...HELLO! Didn't I say at 10 that it was disrespectful & should be stopped by whatever means necessary, immediately? Wasn't I told that it was just a phase & that I was taking it too seriously? Didn't I say 'how dare she roll her eyes?' Well, apparently, that was me taking things too seriously & over-reacting & it's not like she's saying anything or talking back. Now at 14... Ugh.
Anyone try this route to teach our DHs HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER? Any book recommendations? I'm tired of having to do this & NOT doing anything just makes my life more miserable. Good LORD! I'M NOT HIS MOTHER EITHER!
Does it help alleviate some guilt when they do the right thing & can read in a book that it's the right thing - even when the kids don't like it & try to rebel against it?
I was just asking about the
I was just asking about the same exact thing on my other post. (one nice person responded.)
I'm on Google today surfing and "if" I find anything, I shall share with you.
Hang tight- I know it can drive you nutso.
Best,
MWC
I would recommend the
I would recommend the following two books as a guide for how to attain healthy relationships.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Melody Beattie
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff--and it's all small stuff (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series) by Richard Carlson
The first book was a huge eye opener for me when my XW and I were seeing a marriage counselor. It was assigned by our Phsychologist. I read it, she did not. She ended up walking out of couseling and out of our marriage and has not had a particularly happy life.
I moved on and had have had an amazing time since my divorce including marriage to my soul mate.
The second book speaks for itself. It is about how to not take things quite so seriously and to learn what is imporant and what is not.
I have no bio kids and my SS is an only child in our home. Though she does occassionally struggle with bouts of guilt parenting, for the most part my wife is not a guilt parent.
So, I can't speak to how well these books apply to guilt parenting but I believe they could help.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)