Sorry - this post kind of became longer than I planned...

Firstly I want to say I know times have changed since my BD16 was born.  She didn't have a fancy phone or tablet with Wifi etc until she was maybe 13.  Her first phone was just a pay as you go to have because we didn't have a landline and she would come home after school at 3rd/4th grade.  She would be home less than an hour before I got home and I have family around incase she needed anything. But anyway....

The BM seems to allow TV, Tablet, Phone etc take care of my SS.  & if it wasn't for me I am sure my DH would be the same. SS10 has a hand me down smartphone at his BMs house.  We don't allow it at ours. Firstly - not going to be responsible if something happens to it.  Secondly he is a very immature 10. (I wouldn't even trust him alone for any amount of time. I barely trust him to walk to his grandparents which is crossing a not so busy street. He lacks the common sense of paying attention.) & there is no reason he needs a phone at ours because he is always with someone - so even if BM wants to call him she can get ahold of him somehow. So he does not need a phone! She just has it for him to entertain him in the car. Like seriously...maybe talk to your kid while he's with you instead of having to call my DH to ask how SS day went at school. Yes - I'm bitter. Lol. 

So basically - we did allow SS to watch Netflix at ours.  When my BD was younger she could have TV in her room but she would also "play", not JUST stare at the TV constantly.  That seems to be what my SS does.  He just sits there staring at it. And of course my DH would use Netflix as a way to keep SS entertained and not around so my DH could just play on his phone and watch sports and not have to parent. I put a stop to that. So now SS who can play with the many toys he has in his room can't seem to function alone and has to come out and bother my DH all the time.  So now I'm in the middle of the battle of SS needs to be able to play alone yet also my DH needs to parent and do things with him.  & trying to get that balance seems impossible. I've taken away Netflix full stop.  But we have also taken away the Wii for games currently. 

Now I'm at the point do I just tell my DH he can do what he wants and hook up the Wii again (I won't be giving the Netflix password tho) & he can let his son do whatever he wants since he's the parent....meaning I will start the disengage from electronics??

In my opinion there could be a balance with it all - TV, Video Games, Tablet. Oh and when he plays on his tablet he just watches videos...doesn't actually play games. So it's not like he does anything to use his brain. ***Ugh....PLEASE help??***