:( can I get a thank you??
Hubby and the SDs really hurt my feelings last night!
This last week is one of those time when I feel like I have gone above and beyond, for my little family. Sd15 needed an emergency doctor's appointment, so we could figure out if it is one of her medicines that is making her act out the way she has been. I tried to do it without having to involve Hubby, so he could work, but it just WASN'T possible.
I let him know on Monday that he MIGHT have to drive me and SD15 to the doctor's, but I made an 8 am appointment, so he wouldn't have to miss more then an hour and a half of work. Her doctor's appointment was this morning, and I have called SOMEONE every single day, to try to get us a ride (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday). No one was available, but Mom and Step-dad let us barrow their truck.
So, last night, Hubby is busy complaining, bitching and yelling at me, that he would have to miss an hour and a half of work for his kid's doctor's appointment, and something is SERIOUSLY wrong with her! SD15 seemed GLEEFUL that HER doctor's appointment was causing so much turmoil! SD12 was busy having a fit, yelling and screaming "I fucking hate her!" about me.
I love these kids. I love my husband. I understand that everyone has these days, in some way, shape or form, BUT....
Can I get a fucking "thank you" here? I spent THREE days trying to keep Hubby from having to miss work. I give SD15 all of the attention that I can afford to give her, and still have some left for myself. SD12 spent the day yesterday watching Netflix, that I pay for, on the Wii that I bought her, (in the house that I bought, using internet that I pay for, and electricity that HUBBY and I PAY FOR!) until I brought her home fast food!
I admit it, I do very little cleaning in my house (We use a point system in our house, chores are worth points, and points are traded for privileges. If I clean, SDs get less Tv, phone, internet, tablet time. THEY DONT WANT ME TO DO IT!)
However, I have gone from having five doctor's appointments (for me and the girls) in a week to seven! I spend somewhere between ten to fifteen hours a week on the transit bus. I spend about 7 hours IN appointments! I spend about two hours a week on the phone, scheduling appointments, or transit trips. I pay half the bills (including groceries) and forget "not my monkey, not my circus", I am the damn ringmaster here!
Okay, so it was one very bad night, out of however many good ones we've had. I was (and still AM) very tired. It is not as bad as it looks/feels.
Today, I will get a nap, before SD15's therapy appointment later on. Sleep will help change my outlook on life! Lack of sleep, and a bitchy family REALLY puts me in a bad mood!
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foreverstacey, I do! <3 I
foreverstacey, I do! <3 I love my husband and these kids with all my heart!
BUT, SD12 doesn't always walk around saying how much she hates me. She has cussed at me, and screamed at me, but last night is the first time in a long time, that I can remember that she said she hates me!
She will never know it, but that broke my heart! I KNOW she doesn't hate me! She loves me so very much, and is usually GRATEFUL that she has me. THAT she says just about every day. But last night, she was mad and wanted to hurt me. And she did.
Awww, it's so important to
Awww, it's so important to take care of yourself first. It's hard to do with kids and a partner around, they just seem to need need need. But this is part of teaching them about healthy boundaries.
You do all that you do for them out of love. So show them love by treating yourself well first.
Take a break. Congratulate YOURSELF for your accomplishments. Reward YOURSELF. Let them see how wonderful you are, no need to hide your light.
I have an appointment with my
Guys like your DH seem to
Guys like your DH seem to think that the things you do for him are a breeze. Until they are the ones having to deal with it. Or until it inconveniences THEM in some way.
Maybe it is time for another visit to the therapist (if you aren't still going). Maybe even a family therapist? Does anyone have any advice for you at all with these two girls?
I think, more then a
I think, more then a therapist, I just need to talk to hubby when I can talk, and he can listen. I don't like having marriage conversations around the kids, he has two hours at home a day, and last Saturday, for a rare treat, I invited the kids to lunch with me and DH. So, now we have to chisel out some time for us again!
I HAVE told Hubby, if he feels like it is so easy, then do it! Because it is difficult for me sometimes. Whenever I tell him that, he gives me a reason why he can't, and I point out that he shouldn't criticize, if he isn't willing to do it himself.
We have made some changes, based on what the therapist says. That's how we got the point system, time outs from me, and jumping jacks from Hubby. With SD12, we've been in therapy (family and private) for the last three or four years. She has come a long way.
With SD15, we have to find out WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER before we know how to tackle it. Up until December, things were good with her (she was so well behaved), but when custody was finally over, she flipped her lid. Therapy was helping until last month, when she started with the sexting.. and since then, it's just gotten worse. She is having VERY disturbing thoughts!
Nope! Like I said earlier,
Nope! Like I said earlier, we use the point system in my house, Hubby uses jumping jacks, and I use time outs as punishments. If we can't handle it that way, we do believe in spankings, even as old as the girls are.
SD12 was given jumping jacks, but ran to her room, instead. So, she had her "special" blanket taken away, and got her butt busted. Once Hubby went outside, she continued to yell, so I made her go outside with him. She decided that she was going to run away, and was told that her dog would have to be rehomed, then. (He's my dog, to, so he's not going anywhere!)
I left then. I couldn't get away from her noise anywhere in my house, so I went for a walk. When I came back, SD was sobbing, and Hubby sent her back to her room. She acted like she was scared to walk past him, so I asked if she'd gotten another spanking. She hadn't, but whatever he said/did had an impact.
SD12 wasn't allowed to have breakfast until she did (double) the jumping jacks. She went from 80 points to -1150, so she is effectively grounded from everything (Friends, electronics, the blanky, snacks, pop, everything!) until she makes her points up. It depends on how hard she wants to work at it.