My DS got his first one for his 9th birthday. No internet on his plan then.

I went through his phone every few days when he first got it. He's 11 now and has internet. I haven't gone through it in a while. DH does from time to time. I keep an eye on his phone bill for strange numbers. I can view it in real time online.

I just recently allowed him to have a Facebook. He doesn't have the login in info or password. I keep a very close eye on it. He pretty much just uses it to watch funny videos.

He bring it to school everyday and locks it in his locker. He walks home from school on the days that it's nice out.

If he put a pass code lock on his phone I would make him tell me what it was. He doesn't have one as of now.

What do you think about kids having smartphones? Hard to avoid these days.
At what age is it appropriate? 12 IMHO
Do you supervise what they do with it? We try. Problem is, BD is the one who pays for it and it's in his name.
Is all social media fair game? How do you control it? SnapChat scares the hell out of me
Do you allow them to bring it to school? Have to.
Do you allow a passcode? Not our decision

DS has had one since he was 9. He was not interested in social media at the time. Still isn't even though he has internet on it. I know his passcode and check it all the time. He takes it to school and has only had one phone damaged in 4 years and that wasn't his fault.

Smartphone vs dumb phone?

Things are a bit different now than when I grew up in the dark ages.. complete with phones you actually had to dial.. and even... gasp.. prepager.

When I was growing up, we had pay phones and landlines. That was pretty much it. But, they were pretty available for our use, so a kid could use a landline to call mom from his friend's home or use the payphone to call mom from the mall. These days, that's not as much possible, so kids having phones becomes a bit more of a necessity and earlier than we might think.

Honestly, a kid having their own phone can be a boon to EXes that no longer have to facilitate contact with their former partner. There is always the flip side that allows enmeshment as well.

There is also the opportunity for it to be abused in many ways.. overage charges, access to bad people and information... so like many technologies it can help and hurt us.

Obviously, it depends on relative need tempered with maturity and then having reasonable oversight and limits.

That might mean that an elementary age child (through age 11 or so) might only need a dumb phone.. with no internet access.. phone and text only. Parent has password and ability to monitor usage.

Starting in Jr. High.. possibly transitioning to a smart phone (but not a 1000 dollar apple.. seriously, at this stage, a more moderate phone with less value risk would be wise). I would want the ability to limit access to internet in some way and certainly would need to have whatever passcode is on the device etc..

In HS.. I would set limits as far as how much they could charge me financially for data etc.. and would also want to have access to the phone to check for pictures, but would be less likely to invade the privacy unless there was a lot of cause.

NOPE... no cell phones for kids without jobs at our house. I do not mean cutting lawns or babysitting. I mean JOB as in punch a time card job.

There is no need for it.

Same goes of tossing the 15yr/16 old kids car keys..EYEBALL ROLL here.

ESMOD 'invasion of privacy' your super nice---hahah, your kids would hate our house' WE invade privacy to the max here. EXCEPT for potty/shower time. IF IF IF my own bio's had a phone they would NOT have privacy.

By law, children are not allowed to join social media until they turn 13. There are federal statutes that require the personal data of anyone under 13 to be secured differently than the personal data of individuals over 13. Most social media sites don't want to deal with that, so they just say "you must be 13 to join". We've used that as an excuse to keep SSs off social media. They've had smartphones since age 10, because DH wanted to be able to call them without going through BM and they wouldn't use the flip phones he got for them. They mostly watch YouTube and I set their phones with parental controls. They text their friends. I personally think social media is terrible for kids and one has a friend who shares all kinds of inappropriate things. I track things they've posted on YouTube or that their friends have posted on YouTube when I know they are participating. I've flagged a few things for DH and one caused some drama. BM is clueless when it comes to online safety. My SSs have been playing online games that are rated MA since they were 9, with one talking about all of his XBox friends in other states. They play in their own rooms without adult supervision, so who knows what they are up to. I've told them never to give out personal information to someone you don't know. I also told them that they should really just be playing with friends they know in real life. They think I'm a goody two shoes. BM thinks I'm just trying to make her look bad.

My oldest BS had a cellphone, beginning in Jr. High. He played soccer, it helped our situation a lot for him to be reachable.

By the time smartphones rolled out, he was well into high school and working. He had one. He paid for it too.

The didn’t monitor him so much on Facebook, which was the main and only social media at the time. I did set time restrictions for calling/texting on it, though. He could only contact me, my ex, or my mother, in case of an emergency while he was in school. And even though he paid for it, it could be taken away at anytime under serious punishment.

I didn’t snoop through his phone, but like Goodluck, when it came to privacy in our house, BS was subject to search at any time.

And BM provided skid with a phone when she was 7. She had little to no supervision with it. Takes it to school. Always in her hand. It’s like another appendage. She’s had a few replacement phones already; she just turned 11.

There was, and still is, a passcode on it, so BM can access it, but not DH. I’ll never forget the look on skid’s face when he demanded she unlock her phone for something once. She was all “But Mom said I can’t....”

Screw your mom, then. Her phone got put up and away when she came over.

phones are good to have for communication and safety reasons but the abuse of them is obvious. games and constant texting and obsession with media.

dh was paying for his adult sd phone until she was in her 20s. she ran over the minutes and he was charged $400. after that he forced her to get her own phone. at least he had the guts to do this.

SD13.5 cannot have a phone because BM is a psychopath and wants to use it to commit emotional incest with her. But she needs access to the homework app from her school, so we got her an ipod that works only on wifi, and she installed an app on it she uses to wifi text with her friends.

I really think kids don't need phones until they start driving, IMO.

What do you think about kids having smartphones? I totally believe in elementary they do not need one. Typically they are not somewhere where parents can not get a hold of them or are there. SS9 no way in hell is he getting one anytime soon and that is how SO feels about it too. In-laws got it in his head that he needs one I think because they wanted to be able to call and contact him whenever without me or SO being in the middle to facilitate. Again hell no. I can only imagine that his aunt or g-parents would text him asking about his visiting or sleeping over. before going through my SO. Plus SO and I are not paying for him to have some thing when we already know where he is 24/7.

At what age is it appropriate? When they are old enough to pay for the damn thing on their own. If they really need a phone before that get them one that you can preprogrma a phone number into and they can have that.

Do you supervise what they do with it? Hell yeah SO and I would monitor everything. Even really great kids can get in messes and do stupid things.

Is all social media fair game? No it is not keep them off of it for as long as possible. Socail media can be great at times but it also can be very damaging.

Do you allow them to bring it to school? Yeah if they have one. Hell if I see there are a million texts or data usage on during school hours I would take it away.

Do you allow a passcode? You passcode that phone and still living in my house and I am still responsible for your well being and safety damn straight that phone will be gone or better yet I will shut it off. You can do that now on-line. I would. I am mean. Last note would make them put there phone in the kitchen at night and not sleep with it in their room as they could be up all night.

We got SD a Smartphone for her birthday when she turned 13. Honestly, I think we should have done it earlier, and probably will do it a little earlier with our kids. You can put all kinds of restrictions on them, monitor them... and it's a good skill for them to learn in life (to use a smartphone).

No social media until 13 though. Pretty sure Facebook doesn't even let you sign up until you're 13.

We let SD take it to school. That way she can reach us in an emergency, or if her dad's running late to pick her up he can let her know. (I work less than half a mile from her school, so if her dad's running late she can come over to my office. I'm not always in there, but it's safe for her to be there, and nobody minds.) She's pretty responsible with it.

My son just got his first smartphone, he's 18 and in college. I'm super old school and don't think kids should have them at all. Social media is of the }:) . Too much crap and too many pervs out there. Keep things locked down and keep your kids safe!

We got SD age 9 a gizmo watch a few months ago. she can make emergency calls to pre programmed people. Send emoji's to the same people. we can monitor when its on or off, gps app etc. Its for emergencies. We figured since she has been allowed to go to some sleep overs and starting those kinds of things it would be good that she had a way to get ahold of us if something came up....

I don't anticipate a regular smart phone until teenager.

A great article about teen mental health and smartphones. Definitely should be considered! https://theconversation.com/with-teen-mental-health-deteriorating-over-f...

My opinion comes from having been a parent, a step parent, and a teacher.

I don't believe children should get their own electronic devices until about the middle of 6th grade, maybe even 7th or 8th grade, and only after certain requirements are met such as doing chores without being asked and making good grades in school.

I believe they should be given the devices BEFORE they start driving, though, because it is less of a responsibility and I don't want a child learning to use a smartphone, and learning to operate a 2 ton vehicle at the same time.