Ongoing Adult Child Support Challenges
It's been a little while since I last posted regarding BM's continued attempts to have DH continue to pay child support for SD18 who is not working, and who BM forced to go into a "LIFT" program for mature students (because SD dropped out of High School last year when she was 17) - this is a self paced program where students take 2 courses per term (so as not to overwhelm them) and they can attend as little or as much as they want. Per previous posts, BM provided false information and had the school provide false information as well regarding the program itself as well as the amount of time SD was attending the program ("participating in full time studies"). Because SD is 18, DH ran into a wall when he contacted the school for further information as well as her attendance records (per their agreement, DH is to receive information about the program to determine if it is indeed a full time educational program as well as SD's attendance records on a regular basis). Our lawyer reached out to BM's lawyer providing them with a consent letter for SD to sign and provide the school so that school could communicate with DH. This took almost 2 months to get.
DH contacted the Principal who passed on the discussions to the Vice Principal where we found out that SD had originally been enrolled in a coop program but because BM claimed that SD has a bad back, that could not work full time hours, therefore a placement could not be found for her. Therefore she was placed in a PLAR program that automatically puts in this LIFT program. Interestingly enough, while they were looking for a placement for her, she did not attend school or take part in any other studies BUT because she communicated with the school at least once a week, she was marked as attending "full time studies". Once in the LIFT program, she attainded 4 credits through a junior equivalency credit assessment - therefore not studying or partaking in any actual courses. She got the 4 credits based on her previous schooling, any past employment, life experiences, etc... And per the Vice Principal she only comes into school once or twice a week for a few hours. Because of the nature of the program even if she goes into school once a week...are you ready...she is mark present for the whole week!!! Now she is "working" on her senior equivalency credit assessment based on the same criteria as the junior one, to determine how many more credits she gets. The Vice Principal also informed us that she is expected to graduate any time between this June and September 2025.
We provided a summary of this discussion with the Vice Principal to our lawyer who determined that should BM want to file with FRO (Family Responsibility Office) to garnish DH's wages for support as she and her lawyer kept threatening while DH had been gathering information to determine if child support is warranted, and that should they follow through with their threat, and we file a Motion to Change and go to court, that based on the information the Vice Principal provided us, there is a very good chance that a Judge would side with DH.
DH did offer to provide a lump for the time that SD has been in her program to September 2025 but based on her only attending part time not full time. And they opposed that right away and threatened again to go to FRO and then brought the claim that SD has "severe medical issues" that inhibit her from working. This, of course, is complete bullsh&t. SD has a back issue but it can be corrected with physiotherapy that she refuses to do - she has told me this herself. Our lawyer responded that this was news to DH that his daughter has "severe medical issues" and that we'd like documentation from her doctor stating exactly what those medical issues are, her treatments and prognosis. BM's lawyer responded that this is expensive and that DH knows exactly what his daughter's issues are. Our lawyer responded stating if getting medical documentation is a financial issue, then why wouldn't they accept DH's offer? Because if they file with FRO and we go to court that will be much more costly - especially if a Judge is in favour for DH because that would mean that BM would have to pay DH back for the child support that is garnished from his wages, let alone also paying for DH's legal fees.
The medical issue claims I'm not surprised at. THis would be their plan B - to try and prove SD to be deemed as non-self sufficient due to a disability, that way child support could potentialy be paid indefinitely. However, BM needs to prove it, provide disclosure AND IF she does, we will ask for a court appointed doctor to do a physical assessment of SD. Sorry, I don't trust anyone who has any dealings with BM. If she could get a school to lie, she sure as hell could convince a doctor to.
I believe we have struck a nerve! BM thought all she had to do was send an email demanding child support again and if we didn't pay up by a certain date, then the threat of going to FRO would scare DH into paying her automatically. That did not occur. Our due diligence in gathering true and accurate information from the school seems to have thrown them off somewhat. Now they are going back to the alledged medical issues. Our lawyer has recommended that he will no longer respond to the frivalous emails from BM's lawyer until they provide disclosure or until, if, they file with FRO.
BM's lawyer is much like her, he has defamed DH many times in writing, calling him a deadbeat dad, a liar, doesn't have the best interest of his daughter, doesn't care about her education...Our lawyer responds in the most professional manner and knows his stuff and I think that pisses BM and her lawyer off even more.
I want to say that I'm seeing a smidgin' of a light at the end of the tunnel, but I don't want to get my hopes up.
Oh, brother
You guys have really been thru it. Does BM work? Sounds like you have a great lawyer.
I'm going to go out on a limb
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that this BM collects a check for some difficult to prove or disprove "disability." Nobody who works has the time to terrorize their ex like this. And she's teaching her daughter to be a masterful moocher now. If she worked as hard at something productive as she does at mooching, she could be successful and probably wealthy on her own.
No BM does not work. She is
No BM does not work. She is on disability herself - although she sure seems able to to errands, spend her days painting, gardening, etc...
It sounds like you have a good lawyer, especially the part
It sounds likeyou have a good lawyer, expecially the part about refusing to respond to BM's lawyer unless necessary, that will save you a little money. So sorry you have had to go to the time and trouble to get all the documentation, but it seems it was worth it.
Having a pit bull attorney is a huge advantage.
Considering the defamatory crap BM's attorney has provided in documented form, I would have your pit bull file a defamation suit against BM and her bottom feeder lawyer.
If they wanna play the idle threat game, take it to the next level and go for their throats. Collect all of the documented CS compliance payments and every other Micro-Cent paid over the years in support of SD so when they are served with the defamation suit the lies regarding DH being a deadbeat can be immediately countered by beating them about the idiot head and shoulders with proof of regular payment and compliance to the CS order. I would say in the hands of your pit bull that would constitute a near instant win. Of course sue for compensatory and punitive damages, reimbursement of legal fees, and a cease and desist order issued by the Judge with immediate application of even more damages if BM and her bottom feeder lawyer open their idiot lips on related topics again.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Our pit bull chewed up and spit out several SpermClan retained bottom feeder idiot lawyers and pummel the SpermClan brutally a number of times over the 16+ years of the CO and we shredded them pro-se several times after consulting with our pit bull.
Zero tolerance and shredding the toxic side in courd is also a critical life lesson for the SKids who should see the truth and the facts as well as the consequences that result from lies, untruths, and manipulation. If the SKids choose to wallow in that shit buddle of genetic dysfunction as SKidults, then that is their choice. Your SD is no longer a minor child and IMHO needs to see the full force of the long arm of the law and forced consequences for BM's bullshit with the message that if SD chooses to follow in BM's footsteps that she will be included in future lawsuits now that she is an adult.
SD's choice. Adult up, engage in reasonable behavior toward her father and you, and engage in reasonable discussion, or choose toxic and suffer the full consequences of her now adult actions.
I don’t know the laws by you.
But most of the time bio father are responsible for higher education. In some form or another. The BM already got the courts to. Give her support? So it becomes increasingly hard to fight this. You look like the bad person trying to stop SD education, on a country wide program.
'You might just think of it as another year of CS. If this program guide line are correct SD can be 50 and still in high school . With the government saying the 50 yo is trying to better herself
That is definately the case in some States.
SpermLand rules are clear. CS is enforced until either age 18 or HS graduation whichever is the later. However, once a kid quits school at age 18 or older whether they have graduated HS or completed a GED or not, it ends.
Unless, the COD is pursuing higher education either at a trade school, college, or university after HS graduation and is a student in good standing at their school. In which case CS continues until age 21. Though upon HS graduation and reaching age 18 the extended CS is paid directly to the Kidult rather than to their former CP.
This was a major guilt trip element that the SpermClan applied to SS once he finished HS and one of the reasons why he went into the military rather than directly to university. We made it clear that he could attend any school on the planet he wanted to attend and was accepted to, on our dime, but he had to keep the Spermidiot on the hook for CS while he was doing it. That caused SpermGrandHag to stroke out and they started the full court guilt press on SS not to make them continue to pay CS. Once he chose the military, they immediately started pushing him to repay the 16 years of CS. That was what ended them for him and locked in his clarity on how disgusting they are.
SN kids and adults may be on the parents dime for life. One of my oldest childhood BFFs was Dx'd with schizophrenia in his early 20s. Had that Dx happened when he was a minor, his parents may have been on the hook for his support for the remainder of their lives. As his care become more financially painful for them they had him made a ward of the State so that his support was ensured past their own lifespan.
Forced emancipation may be a good move with a kid that is just a minion of a PASing POS parent so that the other parent is not on the hook for support for life.