OMG BF's kids EMBARRASSED US!!!!
So I attended a wedding with BF this past Saturday….
I was warned by one of his friends that kids tend to be more unruly at weddings and such events, because of all the excitement and the people it’s more difficult to get them to sit down and be calm.
The actual wedding wasn’t too bad, we fed them crackers and there was a bit of talking but hushed them and they were OK.
The reception was a nightmare, OMG.
His daughter was running up to ALL the servers that were walking around with hors d’oeuvres (spring rolls, petit cakes, quiches) and grabbing several at once off the trays to smash them in her mouth. Every time BF got up to go to the bathroom the kids would run after him cause they apparently didn’t want him to leave?? They would not sit still every time they were told and kept running across the floor throughout all the speeches, the bride/groom dance, etc. And they would not listen. When BF would tell his daughter to sit, she said, ‘NO! I’m going up to get flowers from that table!’ and took off….
I put on my scary face and firmly told her we were leaving if she didn’t cooperate. She cried and said, ‘Well I’m staying with my Daddy!’
These two were an uncontrollable NIGHTMARE at the reception. They were dashing around, knocking into waiters, etc. When they served dessert the daughter gobbled hers down and ran up to the tray of desserts and grabbed two more plates!!! None of the other kids were like this so I have no freaking clue!!!
The entire time I wanted to crawl under one of the tables and hide. If I had have driven myself, I would have left as soon as the chaos started. I finally threw up my hands and decided to just enjoy the freaking wedding reception and have some booze.
It got to where his daughter ran up to the bridesmaids table to pick off the flowers and eat off their empty plates, and his son kept running up to the wedding cake (which hadn’t even been cut yet) and poking off the frosting (!!!!!) and running back. BF finally had enough and grabbed them both to take home. He told them no TV and they were going straight to bed. Scary thing is….neither of them cared and were like whatever…
The entire time BF’s mom was embarrassed and kept saying, ‘I don’t know those kids!’
Is this normal? Like I can understand them being excited but purposely disobedient??
I will NEVER EVER attend an event with them again!!
Has this happened to anyone here???
Its not normal. I would tell
Its not normal. I would tell BF he should have been embarrassed letting his kids act like that and you will not attention another outing like that and be embarrassed yourself. What a flake for a dad.
This was what it was like
This was what it was like eating out with GG's (biodad I live with) skids (at the time aged 9, 7 and 3)
Of course GG thought it was perfectly acceptable even though patrons were giving us hate stares along with the wait staff.
Does the BM "free range?" That part about them clinging to daddykins even though he was going into the bathroom doesn't sound good.
Here is a list of "symptoms" I'm sad to say is very common when you have a free ranging, PASinator BM and a guilty daddy. Your BF may not be as embarrassed as you think or as embarrassed as you! More than one, RUN cause this stuff does NOT get better!! BF should have stepped up and removed his children from the premises, soundly giving them WHAT FOR.
If not, then you are just the "ogre" in the warped, disfunctional dynamic and that's not where you want to be.
1. Does your man allow co-sleeping with his children? (aka the kiddies routinely jump into bed with him at night)
2. Does he have to lie down with them to get them to sleep?
3. Do the children seem somehow "stunted" socially? Do they have poor hygiene habis, eating habits, bedtime habits?
4. Does your man subscribe to the "one big happy family" model? (expects you to love his children as much as or more than him)
5. Does your man have the "inability" to say no to his children?
6. Do his children seem overly "hyperactive" to you?
7. Does your man say "just relax; you worry too much" or "Everything will be just fine" if you bring up a legitimate concern
8. Do the children seem "overly needy" demanding that dad spend 24/7 with them? Do they physically lay all over him and go bonkers when daddy steps out of their peripheral vision?
9. Are they unable to do age appropriate tasks or want dad to do things that could easily be done themselves?
10. Does dad seem overprotective of his children; unwilling to let them try things out on their own?
11. Has dad said things like "I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it will affect the children" or "we'll take the high road" when faced with blatant BM stepping over boundaries.
Sounds like BF tried to
Sounds like BF tried to implement some discipline in the end. And it sounds like it wouldn't have mattered to the kids if it had happened earlier. Leave 'em at home next time and enjoy yourselves! And make sure to tell them why they are staying home and missing the delicious wedding cake........
I have a ss that is non responsive to discipline tactics like early bed, time out, etc. In fact, at 11 years old he told me: "There is no consequence you can impose on me that will have any sort of effect!" Oh yeah? Well, hard labor it is. The ONLY thing this child responds to is chores.
You are being disrespectful? Oh, well, why don't you go out to the yard and think about it while you pull weeds.
You let your brother do ALL the dog poop pick up? Oh, well, you can think about it while you are on poop partrol alone for the rest of the week.
You are having a temper because you don't want to go to [my] family's house? Oh, well, here is the babysitter to stay with you while we all go float the river with [my] family! Have a GREAT afternoon.
My SO is a disneyland dad who has never disciplined ss. He is slowly coming around as I disengage a bit more. He has realized how effective this technique is and is using it - and it's working!
Good Luck!
Dad couldn't /wouldn't get
Dad couldn't /wouldn't get the kids under control??? Next time leave the kids and dad at home. LOL
I would have sooooo opened up
I would have sooooo opened up a can of whoop ass on those brats!!! Dad should have stepped up and did something like a trip to the bathroom! I know the feeling you described though and that same feeling is exactly why we NEVER go out with my DH brats it is soooooo SOOOO embarassing half the time! Right now the more troublesome one is in a home
so things couldnt be better but yeah I totally relate to your experience! Today I have to take my bio son and my younger SD to meet their teachers and I am dreading this because I know my kid and my SD will be unruly for the most part..kind of thankful school starts Wednesday! Lots of luck to you though and remember that even if the kids arent yours YOU are still an authority figure and should be respected as one and if thats a problem with the Dad then I would get out quick..kids these days have zero respect for the most part and us step parents have to put up with ALOT of their bs thats for damn sure! I have been a step mom for 8 yrs so yeahhhh it can be ROUGH..anyway good luck 
He was getting pissed at me
He was getting pissed at me and his mom cause we let them run wild! Like every time he went to the bathroom and they would run after him, I let them! For the first hour Or so I kept trying to keep them in line but once his daughter pulled that 'MY DADDY' bs I wiped my hands clean of it all and got myself a drink. They aren't my kids, they have no problem reminding me of that so why should I try??
Anyways, this is the last ever I'll be attending an event wtih those kids....
His female friend said, 'Oh its kids, they're always like that at weddings!' Call me a b*tch but if it's true then I'll be banning small children from my future wedding.
His daughter is 5 and son is 3.
Um, I'm sorry... did you say
Um, I'm sorry... did you say your BF was getting pissed at YOU because HIS kids were running wild?!?
This is why many couples have
This is why many couples have "child free" weddings and receptions.
Dad shoulda stepped up and gotten them under control or taken them out. No fun when munchkins ruin it for others...
I just had my skids at a
I just had my skids at a wedding last weekend, and they were totally fine and well behaved. They would never dream of acting like fools, excited or not, as they know the wrath of DH and me would reign down punishment, lol.
Someone should have pulled
Someone should have pulled those kids outside after the first instance of bad behaviour and taken them outside. When they had finished struggling I would have got down at eye level and said.."OK, here is the deal. Stop this nasty shitty behaviour NOW or else you are not seeing a TV show for a whole week. You do NOT behave like this at weddings or church or anywhere else. Got it?" Then I would have taken the kids by the hanbd back inside and bent over asnd whispered in my SOs ear "If you cannot make your kids behave and leave it up to me you are NOT coming NEAR me for a week. You are a lazy arse who doesn't deserve kids..." Smile and wave, smile and wave.
The thing is no one stopped them the first time it happened. DOD (Dear Old Dad) absolved himself of his parenting opportunity and obviously he has never taken them out to grown up events in the past.
FTR my kids seldom had meltdowns like this because I took them out to grown up events from the time they were little. EX took them to football games in the corporate box from the time they were 4 knowing VERY well they would behave. It is all the way they are raised. Good manners and socially acceptable behaviour is not accquired through osmosis!
He got pissed cause I sat and
He got pissed cause I sat and enjoyed my crepe and drank some nice champagne did nada while the minions were running around wreaking havoc while he was out having smoke breaks. They are his, and he should be controlling them, no? Why get mad at me?
Honestly though, I was embarrassed as hell. Even his MOM was saying, 'I don't know those children!'
I will never attend an event with them ever.
I told his friend about the crap they caused and she snapped, 'Well they NEVER get to go to events like this so it's expected!!! When do they ever get an opportunity like this??'
Can you people imagine kids ripping up flowers and sticking their fingers in the wedding cake at your own wedding????
Uhm...they are entitled to
Uhm...they are entitled to have OPPORTUNITIES to act like little monsters???? Seriously? If I were the bride or the bride's parents or whomever paid for the wedding, I would have been beyond pissed off at your BF for not controlling the kids. As another poster said earlier, this is why so many people have child-free weddings. You simply never know when someone is going to abdicate their parental responsibility and ruin an expensive occassion.
HA! if his mother was shocked
HA! if his mother was shocked and embarrassed maybe she could clue him in on how its HIS JOB to handle those monsters. If some booger picking, butt scratching, wild child, ran over and touched my wedding cake before it was even cut, I would have grabbed that kid by its ears and taken it to the father and embarrassed the hell out of him about his lack of parenting his kids. If he cant handle them now, he sure as hell wont be able to handle them once those LOVELY teen years hit...
I keep laughing when I read "Even his MOM was saying, 'I don't know those children!'...