We had a pretty good weekend until today. SD11 was banging BD6's doll stroller around and broke it. I said to SD that she has to stop breaking things and she would be paying for a new stroller. She screamed at me, I couldn't understand what she said it was more like a loud high-pitched scream. I said "stop screaming at me" so she went to her room and slammed the door. I went upstairs and told my DH the story.(He's a paraplegic and can't get downstairs to the playroom, lucky him.) I asked him to please talk to SD about respecting me in our home and that she needs to stop screaming at me and breaking things when she's angry.
So when SD came upstairs later on he starts making friendly conversation with her. Meanwhile I'm thinking wtf is he doing, he must be going to work up to it and then let her have it. But sadly, no, he did not mention it at all, so I did. I said "I'm tired of you coming here with a bad attitude and then when you're angry you throw and break things. I'm tired of you yelling at me, this is my house too and it's going to stop, I have done nothing to you." She had nothing to say and went back downstairs. I said to DH that he should talk to her about respecting his wife when she's there and he said "Why? You just did a good job yourself." Later on he did tell her that she needed to stop breaking things and that she needs to change her attitude. Also, to his credit he sat silently beside me when I was giving my little speach. What I want him to say though is "when you come to our house you will respect my wife, I love her and will not tolerate your current behaviour towards her." If he doesn't say it I think that her behaviour will just become worse. For the first 4 years I tried very hard to be nice to SD. I am one of the unfortunate one's with a nutcase BM and her constant negativity toward DH and I sure isn't helping. For the past year or so I have tried to disengage as much as possible, it has worked a bit. Any advice is appreciated.