New. Hi Everyone. I'm a sm & custody battle just "settled?"
Hi all. I am new and very VERY happy to have found this site!
I have been with married to my hubby for two years and within these two years he has gone through a year of custody battle with his nightmare ex. for a full year this ex wanted nothing to do with her child, we had child ALL the time and about once a week she would want child to spend night on a sunday (usually around 8pm.) When hubby filed for custody, (we live an hour away) so, because of where child goes to school, they awarded temporary to a mother who has hardly wanted anything to do with child for a year!! (outrageous. I know!) Anyways, over a year it has been in court and they've finally "settled" on joint 50/50. We live in a beautiful city and her school is in the country an hour away. Well, I am PISSED because in the "agreement" the hubby agreed to move closer to this childs school!!!
my work, my friends, my everything is in the city, where I love to be. I don't want to live closer to a child that's not even mine's school!
I am upset that he was not even thinking of OUR relationship when he agreed to this and I am sick to my stomach that he did not talk this over with me or anything.
I feel very alone and upset that this could be the end of our relationship, as I refuse to move!.
I do not have any children of my own and now I have a hard time even looking at his child without feeling this hatered..
has anyone ever had to deal with this sort of thing before?! What do I do?!
I know if I move, I will be very unhappy in the country and become very bitter and miserable towards his child and also with him..
Do not move. Your husband
Do not move. Your husband just let you know where you stand in his plans for the future.. He doesn't even think of you. Unless you want to be on the back burner for the rest of your life, stay where you are!!
I would not move in that
I would not move in that situation. Why should you leave your home, job, friends and all to go live in isolation?
Perhaps hubby can get a suitable place for him and DD to live during his visitation times. And if you stay in the marriage he can visit you in your home at your convenience.
Ijust a thought. How old is the child? How many years do you want to be on the back burner?
Read some of the stories on here. Then decide what is right for your happiness and well being. Then name it, claim it and get on with it. A real marriage involves some compromise and definitely much discussion.
"Do not move. Your
"Do not move. Your husband
new Submitted by Biomomof2 on Sun, 05/20/2012 - 8:08pm.
Do not move. Your husband just let you know where you stand in his plans for the future.. He doesn't even think of you. Unless you want to be on the back burner for the rest of your life, stay where you are!!"
I agree. You've only been married two years, no children, you have your friends, career and like where you live. Why throw it away?
He has to put his child first - you should have known that by instinct. He's not to blame nor are you its just the way it is. You don't have to get a divorce but I see it on the horizon no matter what you do. (Yes he should have consulted you out of courtesy even if it was settled in his mind).
You release him to take care of his kid - what any honorable person would do.
^^^This. I agree.
^^^This. I agree.
If my husband did that agreed
If my husband did that agreed to move without even talking to me about it, I would be VERY clear to him, that it is great that the court issue got settled and all, but he will have to move on his own. You were not consulted about the move and she is not YOUR child, therefore you are not obligated by any means to uproot your own life to commodate a individual who didn't have the deceny to think about your feelings or input on this. Yes, he has obligations to this child, but you are his wife, he should have thought about you too.
Yes this is bad, he should
Yes this is bad, he should have consulted you before making a huge decision like this, I know its hard not to feel resentful towards the child, I think to myself sometimes, "what about me"? What about his wedding vows? I would be furious with my bf if he did that to me, its true that if he behaves this way now, when will it end? Have you given hubby the opportunity to explain himself? Perhaps he was feeling desparate and did'nt think it through, surely a wife's wishes come into a legal decision like this? You must be feeling so hurt, if this is the way things will be maybe its better to leave now, rather than waste your time with someone who will always put someone else first?