I'm new to this forum and need advice. I have tried getting advice from family and friends that agree with me on the situation, but have no clue what I should do. I was friends with my husband while I was pregnant with my first son and while his previous girlfriend was pregnant with his son. His cousin was married to my best friend and we were only friends at first. My fiancé at the time was in the Marines and stationed all over the place. I stayed in Virginia to continue my education and finish up my BA. My fiancé at the time cheated on me several times while I carried our unborn son, so I cut off ties and started my journey of single parenthood. My husband now and his first BM broke up 8 month after their son was born, bc he caught her cheating on him. My son is four months younger than his and never had his father in his life, except for the couple hours he took to see him during the first year of his life. My now husband asked our mutual friends to hook us up and I wasn't really interested. He wasn't my type, but thought we could be friend and work out a support system since we were going through very similar situations. Our friendship eventually became something more after a few months of spending time together.

I baby boys would play together whenever his BM would let him have him. At the point in time she used her son as leverage over he ex. I noticed after a few months of spending time with him and his son, that he was not like normal babies. He wasn't anything like my son developmentally and my son was younger. When his son finally started crawling he began attacking my son. I thought that it was bizarre that this 10 month old child was choking, hitting, and biting my 6 month old son. He had many other baby friend and none of them behaved this way. I immediately felt a sense of distain for this child the moment he began terrorizing my defenseless baby. My son was always so mellow and happy all the time. We could take him anywhere and he was always the best behaved baby; shopping, restaurants, movies, etc... His son was cranky, intolerable, whiny, and of his father wasn't holding him he was screaming bloody murder.

I love children and my ex fiancé (bio of my baby boy) had a daughter that I had a wonderful relationship with. This little 8 month old boy was physically hurting my son and I feel like any mother would dislike a child that was hurting their baby boy. I tried to see pass this behavior bc he was a baby. After I dated his father about 8 months we got engaged and 1 year after that married. My son was present, but his son wasn't based on his behavioral issues that we thought he was still growing out of. Even though he was 2 at the time. He would still scream bloody murder if his father wasn't holding him. He was also very abusive to my son. When he would sleep over my son would come down stairs every night historical bc my SS had done something unthinkable to him. He tried smothering him with a pillow. He busted his mouth open with a guitar. He has choked him, left bruises all over him, and given him a black eye.

I tried telling my husband he needs counseling and to be punished every time he would break our rules. My husband feels bad bc he left him with his mom and only gets him every other weekend. I don't think it's fair to my son that his son receives special treatment every time he comes over. Needless to say his behavior hasn't change and we have been doing this for over 4 years now. We had a baby together 2 years ago and my SS is has beat up on him as well. He also has been demonstrating profane behavior to my oldest son, trying to show private parts, touch private parts, etc. I am glad I had a talk with my son about private areas and to tell me anytime someone tried to show or touch him. My husband "disciplines" him, but turns right around and babies him after. I'm sick of the special treatment and I'm getting to the point where I don't want my SS around me or my boys. My friends and family think that he is out of control as well.

My mother doesn't want him around my sons, because she is afraid he might cause serious harm to one of them. My friends think he is very weird and needs therapy. His mother is very crazy and vindictive and still uses the SS to control my husband. If she doesn't want to deal with her son she has my husband pick him up, in turn he drops him off with me and my two boys and goes off to work. I never signed up to try and tame this crazy child and I'm not willing to risk my kids' well being for this anymore.

Please help! I'm on the brink of insanity and at this point my two boys are more important to me than salvaging my marriage. I just don't want my boys to go without there father.