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My DH - Says one thing and does another - Insist we buy a car for his 17 SS

rollercoasterirder's picture

I have 3 ss, my dh is not good at parenting at all, they live with us, except the older one went to live with the BM, very irresponsible with school, smokes weed, drinks, blah blah blah. So now DH has the guilty parent syndrome and wants to buy him a car because he wants to do this for him - just last week he said that they would have to earn everything, etc., yet he wants to buy a car for him just because he keeps asking him for one!!!!

clenettec's picture

Yeah I am constantly dealing with the guilty parent syndrome and it sucks. If DH wants to buy him a car, fine. But I will have no part of it. I will not contribute financially at all. I will not co-sign, pay for insurance, or anything. Let that be between DH and his son ONLY!

imjustthemaid's picture

Now what would you do if you were a sahm and knowing that by DH buying skid a car, it will end up coming out of your end somehow?? Just curious. I am a sahm and feel like I am not allowed to complain about what he spends his money on. But I know that by him paying for SD's insurance and gas and everything I end up getting screwed. SD is turning 16 and is asking for a car and all of this. I think she needs a job!

clenettec's picture

Just because you are a SAHM should not mean that you do not have a say so in how money is being spent. I don't have a specific remedy for you. But I will let you in on something. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have you a JICANCARF!

Stepmom3 Bio1's picture

I hear ya load and clear! My DH doesn't seem to get the fact that all the money he throws at the skids affects mine and our son's financial stability, both now and in the future...and therefore I have a right to complain. I work and contribute to the household and am sick of my DH spoiling the crap out of the grown skids. I don't want to live my life supporting grown skids who haven't learned how to support themselves. I don't blame the skids, to some degree I do, but I place most of the blame on my DH.

Jsmom's picture

I admire you for being a SAHM. But, the reasons you just gave for this situation are exactly why I can't be one. I don't ever want a man to hold something over me or feel that I have no say in something. DH and I have separate finances but, something like that I still want to be able to give input.

Stepmom3 Bio1's picture

WOW...I am dealing with this exact issue right now! My ss is 24, after we paid for 4 yrs of college, rent, utilities, spend money etc..he quit school 3-4 classes shy of his degree. He got a low paying job, decided to buy a car...we gave him 2k towards the car and insurance....now after 4 months he wants to trade it in because it's costing him too much...so now my DH wanted to go buy him a car...on our dime. I about had a stroke! My DH also suffers the guilty-parent syndrome (its been 11 yrs since him/ex divorced)...so much so that I believe he is teaching my skids to be dependent irresponsble adults. Not only is my DH harming my skids....he's harming our marriage too....I'm at my wits end!