Life's decisions
Hello! I'm a newly custodial step-mom to my 14 yo SD. I've been in her and her brothers lives since they were 6 and 8. Since I turned 18 all I've ever wanted was to get married, start a career, and have a child. I've been married to their father for 6 years, am beginning a career as a nurse, and now I just don't know anymore. I've always loved my step kids and have had good relationships with both of them. When my SD turned 10, things just went downhill for her. Her BM had a baby and got married the day before. The kids didn't know until she was about 6 months along so their life changed very quickly. SD began failing school and became very emotional. Over the summer she started self-injuring and getting into trouble with boys in her old neighborhood. Her BM gave us full custody. It took awhile for her to get past the loss of her friends and to adjust, but she started doing really well. She stopped dressing in all black, became a real joy to be around, stopped cutting, and brought her grades up; but, sometimes it still feels like she could slip back at any moment. She's even getting along with BM and Step-dad. With everything that has happened over the years with her, I'm starting to question whether or not I really want to have any kids. I get really sad and torn up about having these thoughts, but at the same time....I just wonder if this is just what it's like and whether or not I want to go through this again. I do WANT a child and to have that connection and bond and to raise someone with the same love that I experienced as a child, but I'm so scared and anxious that it won't be enough. Children are so susceptible to external forces and teen years can be VERY tumultuous. I just don't know how I'd go through something like this again. I'm at a fork in the road but I don't want to have irreversible regrets 10 years from now. I'm not looking for someone to tell me whether I should or shouldn't...I'm just curious if anyone has ever felt this and what your decision was? Are you happy with it or do you regret it?
I have six, nope not a typo,
I have six, nope not a typo, six bio-kids. I often wonder what my life would be like had I only had one kid or none. Then, someone breaks a glass, someone else steps in it, another one cuts their finger trying to clean it up before someone else steps in it, and I think......pretty damn boaring!
They are difficult, exhausting, mess making, loving, sweet, irreplaceable, little hellions! But, I wouldn't change one thing! Good Luck!
I have three adult children,
I have three adult children, and three grandchildren with fourth on the way. When my children were babies I worried about them, when they were toddlers I worried about them, when they were teenagers I worried about them, now they are young married women with families I worry about them. Along came the grandchildren I worry about them. If I could have my life over again, knowing what I know now, would I have children again........................In a heartbeat. They give you a lot of worry from their cradle to I suspect my grave but the love they give you, knowing you are so special to them, makes it all worth while. Nothing worth having comes easy. Funny I looked forward to my first grandchikld thinking I would have all the fun none of the responsibilty and none of the WORRY...:) Nope, still worry, but would not be without them for all the tea in China.