Kids' dad is buying beer for teens
Okay, here is the situation, and I could use some advice.
1. 11 year old girl, 13 year old boy and 19 year old girl that lives with dad full-time by choice
2. They split custody of the kids, 1 week at hers, 1 week at his, etc.
3. He and his family are actively involved in getting the kids to alienate their mother and me (constant bad-talk about us, etc. and so forth). We refuse to do the same in return as we feel it would just mess with their heads even more.
4. Now we find out that he is buying alcohol for his 19 year old girl and she is having parties with the booze he buys, and some of them at his house (not sure if he is there or not, but assuming that he is not)
5. The kicker is that he's buying it for her, but with full knowledge that it is she and her 16-18 year old high school friends that are drinking it, and throwing parties with teenagers present along with kids into their 20's.
6. Very small town with 1 cop who is quite ineffective and won't pursue anything at all, even talked my girlfriend out of pushing charges against her ex when he was breaking into her house following the divorce.
I have told her that probably the only thing we can do is sit and wait and hope one of the kids gets busted for drunk driving or possession (obviously we pray that nobody gets hurt physically by any of this), and then gets pressured by the county sheriff or state patrol to roll over on the kids' dad. At that point, we'd push for full custody and get this over with.
What would you folks suggest at this point? Makes me sick that somebody would knowingly do this to look "cool" to their 19 year old daughter
What? Leave who where they
What? Leave who where they are? I am not understanding your reply
oldest lives there full time
oldest lives there full time by choice, younger ones are evenly split in custody arrangement time-wise
What do you mean it should be
What do you mean it should be okay? Minors consuming alcohol provided by a parent, likely unsupervised, and then driving home? This is illegal in every sense of the word in my state.
Where can you order alcholic drinks for underage kids? This is definitely not the case here .. it's illegal to provide it to minors, purchase it for minors, AND to knowingly allow them to consume it in your presence. It's called child endangerment, among other things.
If you're concerned about the parties, call the cops and have them bust it up. If the sheriff/cop won't respond, at least you have records of TRYING to get it to stop.
Ditto, SA! An adult providing
Ditto, SA!
An adult providing alcohol for minors is wrong.
In every sense of the word.
I would contact CPS and ask
I would contact CPS and ask them to follow up.
I would also insist to my younger children that they NOTIFY ME next time it happens. OR ELSE they will be punished when you find out.
If it's ILLEGAL, a parent
If it's ILLEGAL, a parent shouldn't be encouraging a child to do it. Period.
Where has parenting gone these days?!?
Also, US teens used to go into Canada to get wasted because the drinking age was lower there. However, now when you show ID, if it's US, they WON'T serve you unless you're 21. Wonder why?
I wouldn't want to send the
I wouldn't want to send the message to my kids that it's okay to break laws as long as you don't agree with them.
There is a way to go about inspiring change .. picking and choosing which laws to follow is not it.
So how does this address
So how does this address leaving minors home unattended and providing alcohol to them and all their friends?
I can't honestly believe I'm caught up in a debate over whether it's okay to give minors alcohol or not ..
The way laws generally work
The way laws generally work with alcohol, she would be held liable if she was caught allowing people under age to drink alcohol and she was the oldest present. The only waydh would be in trouble, would be if she gave up her supplier. While supplying her with any may not be legal or not, if she is giving it to others that are underage it IS illegal because according to the law cited above parents must give consent and be present. If you want to persue it and local law enforcement wont help, contact the county law enforcement agency and ask what options you have. If nothing else you may be able to file a report.
Just make sure dh is aware of
Just make sure dh is aware of the potential consequences if they DID say he bought it. First, if he doesn't think she's sharing I'm not sure if encouraging a 19 year old to drink, alone is a smart idea either or if she's with other people old enough to buy and drink it, why aren't they getting hers as well? Maybe THEY understand that they shouldn't. I have actually heard my xh say he will buy alcohol for my boys so he knows they are safe at home. My question is, will he give their friends that they would undoubtedly share with, parents the luxury of the same option. I can't even imagine calling and asking "can your kid drink at my house? "