Just shouted and cursed at SD's 15&13, what to do now?

Forums:

As the heading describes, yeah I just lost it completely with SD 15 & 13. What to do now??

DW is away with my son at her sisters house for a week.
SD's Dad is supposed to be taking them for this week, but I have been left with the responsibility of looking after them, (during this summer holiday I might add)
Fine. I did what I had to do, fed them, entertained them etc.

I am the type of person who loves solitude and with 3 SD's and a 5 month old son, I rarely get it.

I patiently waited, as SD's Dad promised to take them this day and that day but never got round to it.
So I am in the process of cleaning up the house & garden whilst my wife is away (another reason why I wanted them out of the house.

Anyway the day they were supposed to leave they told me theyre going 11am... then 2pm... then finally left at 5pm.

I hadnt been downstairs between 3pm-5pm, I was clearing the attic, and having a shower etc.

I came downstairs to find clothes thrown on the floor, ironing board and iron left out, pans and plates, mess in the kitchen, bathroom upside down with make up, hair in the bath.. and I specifically told them that I wanted the house tidy as someone is coming tomorrow to steam clean the carpets.

I sent a whatsapp message to our family group whatsapp, saying thank you for leaving the mess etc dont worry i will clean it up as I always do. So now they were in trouble with their Mother and older sister.

Anyway I was pretty pissed but at least they had finally left.

Anyway an hour later, I hear the door and guess who it is....... SD's 15 and 13. Turns out their Dad hadnt really picked them up and they were just hanging out at the library waiting for him.

At that point I really couldnt stand the sight of them, I shouted as they came back through the door
Me: 'WHY DID YOU COME BACK!? I DIDNT NEED YOU TO COME BACK!'
SD15: Well were in trouble with Mom now so...
Me: OH,Is that all you care about!?
SD15: What the hell?? Why are you in this pissy mood??
Me: I'M IN THIS MOOD BECAUSE YOU LEAVE ALL YOUR SHIT LYING AROUND AND DONT CARE!

I walk off and from the other room shout: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR STUPID DAD DOESNT TAKE YOU MORE OFTEN HE'S ALWAY COMPLAINING HE DOESNT GET TO SEE YOU

I walk up the stairs and to myself: I wish you would just fucking leave!!

I didnt realise SD13 was in a room at the top of the stairs...

So anyway they are really upset with me that I behaved like this.. I really dont know what to do when I see them again, please help.

Be honest, I wont mind.

Thanks.

uh-oh, you've got some

:jawdrop: uh-oh, you've got some explaining to do to these girls. Yeah, being angry was natural. Who wants to pick up after a couple able bodied teens. Nobody. Not even themselves.

The girls aren't at fault that their father is an a$$. Please don't take your anger towards the father out on the girls. They wished the guy would come too. Come on time. Come on days he's suppose to. The whole bit. Difference between you and the girls in the father bit is you are angry at the father, the girls are not only angry they are also hurt because Dad is showing how little he cares about the girls directly to them. Give them a little understanding on that front.

The mess? You had every right to be upset about the girls trashing the house. You're not the maid. Now that the girls are still home, march them down to have them clean up their mess. Does their mother usually pick up after them and worry about their messes for them instead of teaching/expecting them to keep up after themselves. If so, bad on Mom's part. House rules should be these girls clean up after themselves and also pitch in to do other household tasks.

And now, how to get out of the pinch you just landed yourself in. I realize you didn't mean the SD13 to overhear your final comments, but she did. Now you have to call the girls together and chat. Lay it out on the table and clean the air. Fess up. You're frustrated with all the new found total responsibility of finding yourself with two teens all on your own. You're sorry and you lost your 'cool'. Then move on to how disappointed you are in the messes they made and left for you to clean up. Blab on about how they are quickly growing up and young ladies now and are expected to help out, do things for themselves and not expect you and Mom to be maids and follow around behind them and do everything for them. Running a home with a baby, three kids plus wife and you is a lot of work and everybody has to pitch in and be responsible for keeping the home running blah blah blah.

Then hope like h*ll you get a group hug and this blows over.

Agree with tog totally

I agree with the others.

I agree with the others. While the mess they left may be annoying and rude it is not uncommon teen behavior. Please don't take your frustrations with your wife and her loser ex out on the kids. This is totally her problem, she should have made arrangements for her children before she left.

The "children" needed a

The "children" needed a strong dose of reality that their behavior was totally unacceptable. You can apologize for taking it too far with the comments about the dad.

But DO NOT apologize for getting on to them for being so disrespectful and thoughtless to leave your home looking like a pig sty.

In other words apologize for what you did wrong. But do not let your mistake in talking about their dad give them a free ride to be thoughtless pigs.

Your wife screwed up by not

Your wife screwed up by not having arrangements made for her daughters.
The girls screwed up by making a mess.

You really screwed up and said some really mean things. You need to apologize for that.

Also, they are not responsible for what their father does or doesn't do.

You are here