It wouldn't be the holidays without some BM drama.
Merry Christmas everyone! I hope everyone is having a decent holiday given the circumstances. Our holiday was great and exhausting! So on this glorious Christmas morning BM sent a text to my husband demanding that I have my children call SD to wish her a Merry Christmas. Without a second of hesitation I said no. DH texted SD yesterday and tried to call but she ignored it.
No way in hell are my children going to call her. They are still very confused by the situation and we have tried our best to explain it without exactly saying what happened. I don't want to bring this up on Christmas for them. She already said that they were nothing to her so why do my children need to call her? DH sent a respectful text back to BM stating that now was not a good time and he doesn't want SD in and out of their lives confusing and hurting them more. He said until SD is ready to speak to him and have a decent relationship then it is best if the kids are not put in the middle. BM flipped out.
That's fine we were sure that she would get mad because we weren't doing what she wanted. Now she hands over the phone to her "new man" and he is texting DH telling him what an awful father he is. So now this guy is the self proclaimed "new dad" to step in where my husband failed as a parent and couldn't keep SD happy. Her divorced barely finalized in October and now daddy #7 is here to save the day!
This is complete deja vu! DH said she did this with 5 other guys before he met me. Then I lived through it with her last husband and now we are reliving 2011 again. I'm embarrassed for her that she is stuck in this high-school mentality. So now my his phone is being flooded by texts from some random guy and now DH is upset..again.. BM never fails to ruin holidays for us.
Oh, brother
I guess you can't block BM but block new BF? Disregard, disregard, disregard. Sorry you are going thru this. Sigh.
He thought about it but he is
He thought about it but he is just texting through several phones and one of them is BM's. He turned off his phone for now it's just ridiculous these people are well into their 30's acting like high-school kids.
"I guess you can't block BM"
"I guess you can't block BM" ...... Why not? Harassment is Harassment and just because they have a child together doesn't mean that she has full access to harass him.
No Offense to OP and the visitation situation but it doesn't even sound like the child visits so what legitimate non- harassing thing could BM have to communicate about any way? Block her and take her back to court and find another mode of communication for necessary only contact.
OP in the mean time if it happens again shut the phone off do not engage in conversation with these people.
Yikes. How exhausting to have
Yikes. How exhausting to have to deal with such trashy people all the time.
That many "men" as father figures in and out of her life is really going to leave her messed up. (I am sure you/your husband know.)
I am unfamiliar with your dealings with bm...why is sd allowed to forgo visitation...does your husband not have a courr order?
Yes he does have 50% joint
Yes he does have 50% joint custody and every other weekend visitation. He has called the non emergency police to enforce the visitation order. Police say they will not handle it and can not physically make her go. Mediator in court says once children in the state turn 13 they are allowed to decide their own visitation and there isn't much he can do. My husband was told by the court mediator to just continue to pay his child support and just let it go.
Hopefull that is what he does
Hopefull that is what he does then. And doesn't give much for extras.
Tell the BF to stop texting
Tell the BF to stop texting or harassment charges will be filed. DH doesn't need to put up with that, the guy has no right to continually text him about the kids.
If you have Apple there's a
If you have Apple there's a way to filter out texts from unknown senders, block the Bf and mute BM (hide alerts) until the ending of the day then against temptation just delete everything before reading it. It's not a conversation to bother reading bc it's just her venting and nothing productive. You could even go in and read through it first (if you have the self control not to respond or bring it up to him) to make sure nothing important is in the messages like an exchange change, then delete it. High conflict people will continue to be high conflict until you teach them you won't respond to their bait. It took us years but now BM leaves us alone with her b.s. texts and sticks to important stuff only. If she can be reigned in then there's hope for this working for y'all too.
Just think on this for a
Just think on this for a second. BM found some guy who was willing to take on her and a screwed up teenager and younger kids just months after finalising her divorce with a guy that wasn't even that teen's father. Either she's really good in the sack or Mr Numnuts no 3 (or whatever number she's up to) hasn't got two brain cells to rub together to do the maths. At some point after that many failed relationships didn't it click that the only common denominator in all these failed relationships is BM?!