It shouldn't bother me...
Forums:
but, today, as every holiday, BM is going to DH's family with the 20 and 16 year old skids. We are 1000 miles away and I am not sad to not be there but it bothers me that she has to attend every gathering. It's not like they are too young to go on their own. And the event is happening 3 blocks from their house.
DH talked to his sisters this morning and they are like "say hi to LizzieA." But in a couple of hours they'll be drinking wine with BM. The whole thing still makes me feel like a second hand wife (not on DH's part but theirs).
there is no reason
you can't have some holidays at your house with your own family and friends, invite the kids ( not the BM) and start your own traditions.
stop thinking about his ex, that is the past and be sure to keep her out of your life, more so since the kids are grown.
I had the same problem but..
both my in-laws and BM lived in the same town as DH and I. For the first 4 to 5 years I was married BM would jump at any chance to hang with my in-laws. This ranged from kid b-day parties to mothers day/x-mas. So alot of family functions that DH and I were at so was BM and her poisoning ways. BM managed to turn DH's whole family against him and I for the 1st 4-5 years of our marrage. Only in the last year or so have they come around to see BM for who she really is an evil troll. It use to drive me insane when I would go over to my mother-in-laws house and see a 10x12 Professional engagment photo of DH and BM displayed mid center on the fireplace in the living room!
It maybe a small thing to you but I would LOVE to live 1000 miles from BM.