i'm fuming right now, trying to hold it all in
SD13 spent the night at a friends house (suppossed to be BM's weekend but whatever). anyways, she text me a couple hrs ago and this is how it went:
SD: CAN U PICK ME UP? I WANNA COME HOME
ME: YEAH BE THERE SOON JUST LEAVIN STORE
SD: CAN U DROP ME AND IZZY OFF AT THE MALL?
ME: IDK HOW WOULD IZZY GET HOME LATER? SHE DOESNT EXACTLY LIVE AROUND THE CORNER.
SD: MY MOM
ME: WELL I REALLY DNT KNOW CAUSE ID HAVE TO TALK TO UR MOM TO CONFIRM SINCE SHE WAS 'BUSY' THIS WEEKEND.
SD: Y THE HELL DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE UP TO U?
ME: FORGET IT. IM NOT DOING ANYTHING. IM TIRED OF UR DISRESPECT
SD: I DISRESPECT YOU CAUSE YOURE A BITCH. AND U WONT JUST DO WHAT I ASK U HAVE TO BREAK IT DOWN.
i didnt respond after that. what could i say? besides 'fuck you.' which i cant say. its wrong.
so a half hour later she text me asking if her friend could spend the night.
SD: CAN IZZY SPEND THE NIGHT?
ME: NO. HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT AFTER CALLING ME A BITCH.
SD: I CALLED U A BITCH CAUSE U ACT LIKE UR IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING AND ITS FUCKIN ANNOYING! IM OVER YOU!
didnt know i meant anything to that child for her to be over with. actually i totally know i mean nothing. but anyways, BF works the overnight shift, which means i would be home with the girls plus BD5, so i find that it IS up to me. im sure some will disagree but whatever. BF is still napping from work last night and should be up in a bit. i will tell him all about this and hope he does something. at least if he backs me up that will be enough.
a lil background, since i havent shared much. i have been with BF for almost 8yrs and he has full custody. BM is a nut job, and i have been SD's scapegoat since day one. she has been in therapy and on meds for the last few years but since last year has refused meds and has never talked in therapy. i have been in therapy for the last year cause my depression and anxiety over SD.
first off phone would be gone
first off phone would be gone , second all electronics would be gone third if my hubby didnt back me up on punishment i would be gone. oh and she would be grounded until she could show me proper respect and by grounding i mean the only thing she would have for fun would be an educational book and omg the chores that child would do.. call me a bitch like that numerous times. oh and if the potty mouth continued 20 crunches or push ups per word. they would stop really fast.. my mom or my step mom would have beat the shit out of me for that and when i went to the others house they would beat the shit outa me again. kids these days have no respect.
Wow, she sounds like a piece
Wow, she sounds like a piece of work!! She calls you a bitch, then expects you to let her friend come over? I'd be taking away her call phone at the very least. How does BF respond to this type of behavior from her?
Yep. It is time to draw big
Yep. It is time to draw big fat scary razor blade sharp boundaries for this brat. I have no idea where she is coming from or how she thinks she is going to get her way acting like this, but the next month of her life she be MISERABLE. No phone. No electronics. No fun. No friends. Nothing but school and chores. If you DH does not support you, move out or kick him and his brat out. No one should have to put up with this sort of treatment from another person, least of which a drama queen KID who apparently thinks the world revolves around her.
I think my response when she
I think my response when she called me a bitch would be LOL! I would seriously be LOLing every single time she asked me for anything. And I do mean anything-if she expected me to do her her laundry, cook her supper, take her anywhere, buy her anything-I'd just sit back and LMAO!
Kids are soooo dumb. Well, some of them. My ss over the last few years has been unable to grasp why he doesnt get cell phones, big bday parties,etc like my kids do. Well, duh! I buy them the stuff, I plan the parties-you'd think they'd be smart enough to figure out that you dont bite the hand that feeds you.
BF surprised me! well when he
BF surprised me!
well when he woke up i told him what happened. he picked her up and brought her home, with her phone in one hand, her in the other. he sat her down on the couch and this is whathe said:
"im not going to tell you to apologize cause ur old enough to do that on ur own, if u would even mean it. how dare you speak to my GF like that, and then u have the audacity to ask for your friend to stay the night. she is the closest thing to a mother u have ever had and u treat her like shit. well, ur phone is MINE for the next month. YOU will go to school, come home, and sit in ur friggen room until school the next day. i dont even want u to LOOK in her direction. just remember one thing, I own YOU. YOU dont OWN this family. if SHE leaves cause of YOU, best beleive YOU will be gone too."
i was tryin sooooo hard not to make any kind of expression.
did she get the message? who knows. probably not. but, BF was there for me! this home therapy shit is working for something!
he also took her tv out of her room. she doesnt play video games, and we changed the password for the computer, just in case (we have it psswd protected all day long, we log her in).
thank u all for the advice!
My little ball droppings said
My little ball droppings said to me one day that I shouldnt be sharing the nicer hotel room with their father....that I should be in the room next door with my kids and that they should share the penthouse suite with their dad....It was in fact my 50th Birthday present - we had all gone to Vegas and my DH used his hotel points as an upgrade for me....
Unbelievable how some of these disrespectful children think.....anyway 2 years later,....Im so glad the little shits wont come around to our place anymore if Im here....wot eva!!!
good for you and your
good for you and your PARTNER!!! that was an excellent way for him to talk to his daughter and defend you,and your place in the family. you ask if she got the message? i think yes. good for you. now, dont let her do that to you ever egain...adn in my opinion...you need ot take a couple of steps back from "servicing" you SD...let hubby do the work. no more picking her up, taking her places, etc...she can take the bus, she can walk, she can call her dad. period!
I hope you suitably rewarded
I hope you suitably rewarded your bf for that little diamond scene?
Your bf is one to keep!
I feel your pain... I am
I feel your pain... I am married and we both have children from previous relationships. (me- 1, him- 3, 2 from one marriage and 1 from another marriage) My SD is 18 and thinks everything and everyone is here for her disposal. Apparently her mom is her best friend and lets her live any way she wants- this amounts to being a hoarder -you can't see the floor in her room because its full of clothes, disgusting slob (by disgusting slob I mean food, used half-full glasses (one with milk in it) and garbage in her room and the kids bathroom), spoiled, entitled brat. She doesn't feel she should clean her room because her mom lets her live like that and "what affect does my room being a mess have on you??"
But I'm a psycho because I asked her to stay out of my son's bedroom. I've lost my temper at her twice, maybe three times in the last 6 years. She's walks in the door like she owns the place, has no respect for other people's belongings, stole from her father and I because she needed gas money (yes, that was one of the occasions that I flipped out), her and her brother (20) moved in to our place under the guise of visiting while her other brother (13) was in town visiting. They just never left. When asked what their plans were, they respond with questions and misleading information. This makes me think that they only reason they are here is for money. This stuff is only the tip of the iceberg and the most recent crap that has happened.
Any attempt to talk to her is cut short by a "I don't have time for this" as her door shuts in your face. Its all I can do to not smash the door down and beat the living hell out of her. I want her out.
I try to talk to my husband and slowly he is catching on that her attitude is NOT ok, because she's also nasty to him. He used to make excuses for her and her behavior.
The mother end of me wants to help her stay on the straight and narrow because she's still young and needs to learn, the woman/person side of me wants to put all her shit in the street and tell her not to come back. VERY DIFFICULT to deal with day in and day out. I used to just hate the summers when they all would visit, but now they are living with me....
On top of all of this I had brain cancer 2 years ago- I don't need this stress.
you poor thing....I would be
you poor thing....I would be considering moving into a home thats not so big....
Hey...how about buying a big whoppin RV? and just go away for eva...
These skids are old enough to look after themselves...they dont want your input into their lives...and their attitudes are disgusting....have nothing more to do with them if you can....I know thats hard but you dont need their issues ruining your health and lifestyle...
You need to look after number 1...and thats you....and your health.
If they continue to upset you like this you will become even worse.
Let them know of your cancer, and how your health is suffering...from now on when they are in your house its yours and daddy's rules and if they dont like it...they have to live and stay elsewhere...should they upset you further and they know you have a life threatening condition, they could be up on a murder charge....
recent case of an ex knowing of her ex husbands heart condition so she upset to the point where he died...she was charged with murder....so
make sure you look after yourself and make sure your DH is on your side here, and supports you.
Look I know you're angry
Look I know you're angry right now but look at it from the girls side for some reason she needs her friend right now and when I was a kid I was an only child with no cousins or relatives my age so my friends meant the world to me and I was lucky enough to have parents who would let me spend the night or drop me off at an inconvenient times. Sometimes these friendships are stronger than sibling bonds and to this day I have female friends who are like sisters to me and guys who are like my brothers.
With that said, we're you maybe being a little difficult with your SD, not that that makes calling you a bitch acceptable in any way. But don't we all have bad days and moods especially during the hell of adolescence. Since this is between two women shouldn't you be the better role model and not overreact. I mean to be fuming is pretty severe. You get overwhelmed at that age with all that stuff ahead of you and it can make you a little crazy so you don't always make the best decisions. Do you understand what I'm trying to say. Why are you so despirited?