first off phone would be gone , second all electronics would be gone third if my hubby didnt back me up on punishment i would be gone. oh and she would be grounded until she could show me proper respect and by grounding i mean the only thing she would have for fun would be an educational book and omg the chores that child would do.. call me a bitch like that numerous times. oh and if the potty mouth continued 20 crunches or push ups per word. they would stop really fast.. my mom or my step mom would have beat the shit out of me for that and when i went to the others house they would beat the shit outa me again. kids these days have no respect.

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work!! She calls you a bitch, then expects you to let her friend come over? I'd be taking away her call phone at the very least. How does BF respond to this type of behavior from her?

Yep. It is time to draw big fat scary razor blade sharp boundaries for this brat. I have no idea where she is coming from or how she thinks she is going to get her way acting like this, but the next month of her life she be MISERABLE. No phone. No electronics. No fun. No friends. Nothing but school and chores. If you DH does not support you, move out or kick him and his brat out. No one should have to put up with this sort of treatment from another person, least of which a drama queen KID who apparently thinks the world revolves around her.

I think my response when she called me a bitch would be LOL! I would seriously be LOLing every single time she asked me for anything. And I do mean anything-if she expected me to do her her laundry, cook her supper, take her anywhere, buy her anything-I'd just sit back and LMAO!

Kids are soooo dumb. Well, some of them. My ss over the last few years has been unable to grasp why he doesnt get cell phones, big bday parties,etc like my kids do. Well, duh! I buy them the stuff, I plan the parties-you'd think they'd be smart enough to figure out that you dont bite the hand that feeds you.

good for you and your PARTNER!!! that was an excellent way for him to talk to his daughter and defend you,and your place in the family. you ask if she got the message? i think yes. good for you. now, dont let her do that to you ever egain...adn in my opinion...you need ot take a couple of steps back from "servicing" you SD...let hubby do the work. no more picking her up, taking her places, etc...she can take the bus, she can walk, she can call her dad. period!

I feel your pain... I am married and we both have children from previous relationships. (me- 1, him- 3, 2 from one marriage and 1 from another marriage) My SD is 18 and thinks everything and everyone is here for her disposal. Apparently her mom is her best friend and lets her live any way she wants- this amounts to being a hoarder -you can't see the floor in her room because its full of clothes, disgusting slob (by disgusting slob I mean food, used half-full glasses (one with milk in it) and garbage in her room and the kids bathroom), spoiled, entitled brat. She doesn't feel she should clean her room because her mom lets her live like that and "what affect does my room being a mess have on you??"
But I'm a psycho because I asked her to stay out of my son's bedroom. I've lost my temper at her twice, maybe three times in the last 6 years. She's walks in the door like she owns the place, has no respect for other people's belongings, stole from her father and I because she needed gas money (yes, that was one of the occasions that I flipped out), her and her brother (20) moved in to our place under the guise of visiting while her other brother (13) was in town visiting. They just never left. When asked what their plans were, they respond with questions and misleading information. This makes me think that they only reason they are here is for money. This stuff is only the tip of the iceberg and the most recent crap that has happened.

Any attempt to talk to her is cut short by a "I don't have time for this" as her door shuts in your face. Its all I can do to not smash the door down and beat the living hell out of her. I want her out.
I try to talk to my husband and slowly he is catching on that her attitude is NOT ok, because she's also nasty to him. He used to make excuses for her and her behavior.
The mother end of me wants to help her stay on the straight and narrow because she's still young and needs to learn, the woman/person side of me wants to put all her shit in the street and tell her not to come back. VERY DIFFICULT to deal with day in and day out. I used to just hate the summers when they all would visit, but now they are living with me....
On top of all of this I had brain cancer 2 years ago- I don't need this stress.

Look I know you're angry right now but look at it from the girls side for some reason she needs her friend right now and when I was a kid I was an only child with no cousins or relatives my age so my friends meant the world to me and I was lucky enough to have parents who would let me spend the night or drop me off at an inconvenient times. Sometimes these friendships are stronger than sibling bonds and to this day I have female friends who are like sisters to me and guys who are like my brothers.
With that said, we're you maybe being a little difficult with your SD, not that that makes calling you a bitch acceptable in any way. But don't we all have bad days and moods especially during the hell of adolescence. Since this is between two women shouldn't you be the better role model and not overreact. I mean to be fuming is pretty severe. You get overwhelmed at that age with all that stuff ahead of you and it can make you a little crazy so you don't always make the best decisions. Do you understand what I'm trying to say. Why are you so despirited?