About 18 months ago, 6 months after DH and I met, I took now SS10 to a sports game because he had to take SS12 to a different one and it was DH's week with the skids. BM was there too.

As we were leaving, BM walked down the road in front of my car as I was backing down the drive. SS9 was waving and smiling at BM but soon stopped. She refused to acknowledge him and had a look on her face of pure evil - just because the poor wee chap was sitting in my car.

He was very upset and I felt very bad for him. He looked abandoned and soooo sad. I tried to cheer him up.

After that, BM became horrible and mental and tried to get custody.

Only two weeks ago, SS10 refused to acknowledge DH at sports in case he upset BM. If we are all there, he literally disappears. I can't imagine how much damage is there for a kid to act like that.

Shortly after the car incident, I suggested to DH (unsuccessfully) that maybe the kids should have a break from sports until the two of them sort themselves out. Low or no conflict stuff. My only thought was to try to avoid putting SS through such an ordeal again. I decided to stop going to sports- I couldn't be part of it. I recently started going again but then came last night.

Last night he said that I had caused damage by suggesting a break from sports. He said it made him feel like he needs to stick up for his children against me.

EXCUSE ME???

I am beside myself. Am I in some sort of bizarre nightmare? Could neither of them see what they were both doing to their kid? Now it's me - I am the one he thinks he needs to defend his children from.

Honestly guys - I have never felt more like giving up. This seems hopeless to me.

I am very very sad and down today. I can't think straight. It's bad enough to be in the middle of their unresolved family sh*t without being told that it's me that's the problem when it feels like I am the only one watching out for the skids. I didn't ask for this and I don't need it.