I just tried to post it again and it didn't work so I will put it here.
I am going to try and condense this as much as possible. SO and I have been together over 4 years and we have DS2. He also has 1 child to one BM SD14 and 2 to another BM SS12 and SD8. The BM of 2 is a nasty piece of work who ignores all boundaries we try to instill. I tried to move into SO’s home years ago but I couldn’t train her to knock at the front door, she just waltzed in, up and down the house, going into the kids rooms looking for clothes, whatever excuse she could find. When I had just had enough I told SO that if he really wanted me to try living there he needed to keep her out of the house.
Next time she came over he had the front screen door locked and spoke to her through that. The result of that was the next time she dropped the kids off she stood at the front fence throwing the childrens bags at me telling me she was getting treated like a dog. I shrugged and walked off on her. We bought a new house and I had a rule that BM was never allowed to do pick ups and drop off at our house. They could meet at the shops 2 minutes away or McDonalds 3 mins away, but under no circumstances did I want that crazy bitch screaming out the front of my house.
Fast forward 2.5 years and the bitch says she has had enough and she’s not listening to SO and dropping SD8 at the house, some time after 6pm. She arrived at 8pm, I wasn’t there, I had a Tupperware party to attend. I was annoyed that my rule had been broken. I have heard that she had been complaining to MIL about dropping the kids in public places and MIL actually encouraged her to disregard me and go to my home.
We have a peaceful Saturday and SO goes to work nightshift on Saturday night 7pm – 7am (great $$$) and I have DD9, SD8 and DS2 at home. At 9am Sunday, BM phones SO to tell him the details of SS12 football game is. SO interrupts and says he won’t be there. She asks why not, he told her he had worked the night through and needed some sleep then goodbye. (I didn’t think he needed to explain to her). Then she rang again 2 mins later and said she will be picking SD8 up after the game. They live an hour away, and sometimes the games are an hour further away. SO was tired so he just said seeya. 2 minutes later she rang a 3rd time and he said what the hell do you want? Then he hung up and handed me the phone. I took it out of the room so he could get some sleep.
The phone continued to ring and ring, it was on silent but I could see the lights (22 missed in total that morning) – I answered the 23rd. She said Craving fucking put SO on the phone. I said nope and hung up. She text “I will see you at your house bitch”.
Lunch time came and SO was up so we went out for lunch. SO forgot to take his phone, when we got back from lunch there was more missed phone calls, she was waiting at the front of my house but had left by the time we got back. He rang BM and told her he would drop SD8 off on Monday morning before school.
5:30pm BM Phones –“You and Craving are fucking fuckwits” – SO hangs up
She tries 6 more times. Then starts texting:
1Hey I didn’t finish what I have to say Fuckwits
2 You know what!! You should move to XXXX (cheaper neighbourhood) and you would fit right in.. with all the pedo’s, druggo’s,and the unemployed and fraudsters.
3I sent that to SO and Skanky (me)
4 I can’t believe I am associated with such scum..
5 And at the moment I have no control.
Then that was the end for the night. Next morning SO dropped SD8 to BM’s and she came out front saying to my SO I was a piece of work and she’d never met anyone like me. SO doesn’t engage, got in the car and drove off.
She texted one more time Monday morning and after that I gave my first and only reply, “I have kept the records for the last day, one more text and I am going to the police”.
MIL thinks I am a bitch and she is innocent, this shit happens quite frequently and I never engage, never react. I have tried to keep her away from my home so I just don’t have to deal with her. I don’t go to anything at all she will be at, not at all. This approach just doesn’t seem to be working, what can I do. Has anyone got advice.
Your MIL is screwing you over by encouraging her lunacy and encouraging her to break boundaries. If your SO won't tell his mother to stop and get it across to her that she really does need to respect you I don't see how this will end any way but badly.
I don't know your history but this is crazy. You do need your SO on board with going to the police. I don't know what the laws are in Australia so I don't know if the police will back you up. Good luck, this is so inappropriate and wrong of the BM.
Good for you. Keep your rules. I had my husband's ex continually driving down our driveway, and then calling the police on US because SHE was afraid of dh. That does beg the question of why drive down the long driveway if you are afraid? But those days are done. Husbands daughters are now grown into the pie es of work, just like their classy mother. See what you have to look forward to?
I wish I could say it will get better, but that woman sounds like she has a serious personality disorder. Keep the police involved. Keep records. Do not exchange kids unless you are in a public place. I really feared that false allegations were coming next in my case because what other tools can they use? Seriously, she sounds even worse than our ex wackadoo.. Be careful...
I really think if my MIL just told the crazy BM to back off it would help, but she encourages her full steam ahead. No matter how many times SO has told BM to move on, she still thinks he should be available to her 24/7 and when he is not the crazy comes. It is a wierd sense of entitlement, it's like she thinks she and the 2 kids they had together are the only ones that count, totally irrational.
It worked! Could my other one
It worked!
Could my other one be too long?
I just tried to post it again
I just tried to post it again and it didn't work so I will put it here.
I am going to try and condense this as much as possible. SO and I have been together over 4 years and we have DS2. He also has 1 child to one BM SD14 and 2 to another BM SS12 and SD8. The BM of 2 is a nasty piece of work who ignores all boundaries we try to instill. I tried to move into SO’s home years ago but I couldn’t train her to knock at the front door, she just waltzed in, up and down the house, going into the kids rooms looking for clothes, whatever excuse she could find. When I had just had enough I told SO that if he really wanted me to try living there he needed to keep her out of the house.
Next time she came over he had the front screen door locked and spoke to her through that. The result of that was the next time she dropped the kids off she stood at the front fence throwing the childrens bags at me telling me she was getting treated like a dog. I shrugged and walked off on her. We bought a new house and I had a rule that BM was never allowed to do pick ups and drop off at our house. They could meet at the shops 2 minutes away or McDonalds 3 mins away, but under no circumstances did I want that crazy bitch screaming out the front of my house.
Fast forward 2.5 years and the bitch says she has had enough and she’s not listening to SO and dropping SD8 at the house, some time after 6pm. She arrived at 8pm, I wasn’t there, I had a Tupperware party to attend. I was annoyed that my rule had been broken. I have heard that she had been complaining to MIL about dropping the kids in public places and MIL actually encouraged her to disregard me and go to my home.
We have a peaceful Saturday and SO goes to work nightshift on Saturday night 7pm – 7am (great $$$) and I have DD9, SD8 and DS2 at home. At 9am Sunday, BM phones SO to tell him the details of SS12 football game is. SO interrupts and says he won’t be there. She asks why not, he told her he had worked the night through and needed some sleep then goodbye. (I didn’t think he needed to explain to her). Then she rang again 2 mins later and said she will be picking SD8 up after the game. They live an hour away, and sometimes the games are an hour further away. SO was tired so he just said seeya. 2 minutes later she rang a 3rd time and he said what the hell do you want? Then he hung up and handed me the phone. I took it out of the room so he could get some sleep.
The phone continued to ring and ring, it was on silent but I could see the lights (22 missed in total that morning) – I answered the 23rd. She said Craving fucking put SO on the phone. I said nope and hung up. She text “I will see you at your house bitch”.
Lunch time came and SO was up so we went out for lunch. SO forgot to take his phone, when we got back from lunch there was more missed phone calls, she was waiting at the front of my house but had left by the time we got back. He rang BM and told her he would drop SD8 off on Monday morning before school.
5:30pm BM Phones –“You and Craving are fucking fuckwits” – SO hangs up
She tries 6 more times. Then starts texting:
1Hey I didn’t finish what I have to say Fuckwits
2 You know what!! You should move to XXXX (cheaper neighbourhood) and you would fit right in.. with all the pedo’s, druggo’s,and the unemployed and fraudsters.
3I sent that to SO and Skanky (me)
4 I can’t believe I am associated with such scum..
5 And at the moment I have no control.
Then that was the end for the night. Next morning SO dropped SD8 to BM’s and she came out front saying to my SO I was a piece of work and she’d never met anyone like me. SO doesn’t engage, got in the car and drove off.
She texted one more time Monday morning and after that I gave my first and only reply, “I have kept the records for the last day, one more text and I am going to the police”.
MIL thinks I am a bitch and she is innocent, this shit happens quite frequently and I never engage, never react. I have tried to keep her away from my home so I just don’t have to deal with her. I don’t go to anything at all she will be at, not at all. This approach just doesn’t seem to be working, what can I do. Has anyone got advice.
Your MIL is screwing you over
Your MIL is screwing you over by encouraging her lunacy and encouraging her to break boundaries. If your SO won't tell his mother to stop and get it across to her that she really does need to respect you I don't see how this will end any way but badly.
I don't know your history but this is crazy. You do need your SO on board with going to the police. I don't know what the laws are in Australia so I don't know if the police will back you up. Good luck, this is so inappropriate and wrong of the BM.
Good for you. Keep your
Good for you. Keep your rules. I had my husband's ex continually driving down our driveway, and then calling the police on US because SHE was afraid of dh. That does beg the question of why drive down the long driveway if you are afraid? But those days are done. Husbands daughters are now grown into the pie es of work, just like their classy mother. See what you have to look forward to?
I wish I could say it will get better, but that woman sounds like she has a serious personality disorder. Keep the police involved. Keep records. Do not exchange kids unless you are in a public place. I really feared that false allegations were coming next in my case because what other tools can they use? Seriously, she sounds even worse than our ex wackadoo.. Be careful...
I really think if my MIL just
I really think if my MIL just told the crazy BM to back off it would help, but she encourages her full steam ahead. No matter how many times SO has told BM to move on, she still thinks he should be available to her 24/7 and when he is not the crazy comes. It is a wierd sense of entitlement, it's like she thinks she and the 2 kids they had together are the only ones that count, totally irrational.