Teenage stepdaughter, I will leave if you make me do this.
Sunday night was my daughters netball presentation. Her club was providing free rides and food and drinks for all club members and siblings who played the season.
I was already taking BS 3 (ours) BD 10 (the netball player) and SD10. SD 15 heard about the party and wanted to come. I arranged tickets for us all to have unlimited use of the rides and went and picked up SD15. Whilst at the event I noticed I was walking around from jumping castle to jumping castle with all the other toddlers big sisters. I went into SO and asked if he would mind asking SD 15 to take her little brother around the rides for a couple of minutes/ maybe half an hour while I relaxed and talked to friends. Her answer was a big fat nope. I got over it, although I wish she was more like my friends daughters, happy to help, I figured he was our responsibility not hers.
Next day, the three girls ask me if they can go to the movies. I said sure, I had just made a cooked breakfast for them all. Tidy up and wash the breakfast dishes and then we will go. SD15 goes down to the main bedroom and says to dad, "if you make me help I will go home." Excuse me! I was horrified. I told SO if he wanted his 3 children to go to the movies he could take them himself. He said could not believe I was going to let what a teenager said affect me.
I dropped them at the movies, went to the gym and collected them after. Teenager had found friends and ditched the others when she got there.
The teenager does not live with us nor does she visit on a regular basis.
After we got home without the teenager, SO decided it was time to drop SD10 home to her mother. I started cooking dinner for me, DD10 DS3 and SO. 2 hours later he turns up with SD15. He walks into the kitchen, drains the pasta I had been cooking, and serves himself a plate for him and SD 15 - she starts eating, and when I walk in he says - oh are you eating - and I said no, I just cook for fun.
SD15 eats, puts her plate on the sink and gets a lift home. No thanks, no cleaning up.
Am I the maid?
LOL. That is what I said to
LOL. That is what I said to SO. I will drop her home.
I was just so offended he
I was just so offended he brought her home to eat my cooking and didn't notice that she did not even acknowledge me.
Forget being acknowledge. She
Forget being acknowledge. She ditched her group went off on her own not telling anyone and he comes in and helps him self to your food and doesn't do anything about her behavior. He sounds awesome.
I was pretty much at the
I was pretty much at the point of not doing anything and then she rang SO to say she wanted to come to the presentation so I thought she may have changed - SHE IS WORSE!
He says it is just teenage crap, I say BS. And, I am so totally pissed at him for letting her "help herself" to my cooking when I was not even expecting her - how rude.
Nobody asked if I had cooked enough for extras, it's just so wrong.
"it is just teenage
"it is just teenage crap"
Yes, DH, it is teenage crap. Now YOU are supposed to do that "parenting crap" bit that you signed up for when you had her. You are NOT her friend, I am NOT the maid, and you WILL by god parent your daughter instead of pretending you are her goddamn doormat!
Yes. It is just teenage crap.
Yes. It is just teenage crap. Teenage crap that will follow her into her adult life if he doesn't find a pair of testicles somewhere and start acting like a man and do something about it! Wow! Sounds like SO is the problem behind the problems with SD.
but its crap nonetheless. dh
but its crap nonetheless.
dh needs to grow a pair and learn to support your authority in the marriage.
otherwise the fun continues when they become adults.
If she wants to go home, let
If she wants to go home, let her.
Stop doing anything for her.
Stop doing anything now. Yes
Stop doing anything now. Yes it is teenage crap and she is getting away with it because he doesn't want conflict. It doesn't matter who the Stepparent or Birthparent is or the situation, you will have conflict. Just have expectations of manners.
Every single time SD did this, DH called her out on it. Would have worked if BM had expectations as well. Unfortunately it didn't, but it did show DH that his daughter was ill-mannered and he was determined to not let her be that way with us. Exactly why she is not a part of this family anymore. We have expectations of behavior.
No, you are not the maid. "if
No, you are not the maid.
"if you make me help I will go home." :jawdrop: :sick:
The only appropriate response to that coming out the mouth of a 15yo is "then GTFO of my house and don't let the doorknob hit you in the ass on the way out. And ... you are hiking your happy little snarky bitchy teen ass all the way home."
That your DH did not immediately frog march his little bitch of a daughter all over the house to clean the floors with a hand scrub brush or with her tongue, then waltzed in to load up plates of pasta for he and this little bitch rather than putting her on a road march all the way home while he idled behind her in the car chewing her a new asshole the whole way tells me far more about your DH than I care to know.
He is a prick!
Time for DH to cook for himself and clean up after everyone else for a long, long while.
IMHO of course.
If my brother or I had ever said anything even remotely close to that to our parents we would have been in a world of hurt for a very long time.
Why exactly does your husband cater to this snarky teen shit instead of lighting her ass up?
"If you make me help I will
"If you make me help I will go home."
---------
"You can help and go to the movies, or you can wait there while everyone else does their chores, and YOU will be taken home when everyone else goes to the movies."
Thanks for the replies. I am
Thanks for the replies. I am going to print this out and give it to SO. I have just about had enough of his badly mannered children and himself.
If any of you have any more opinions please type them because I really want to show him that bending to his teenager is not the right thing.
From a Kiwi point of view
From a Kiwi point of view your SO is allowing his daughter to be a bitch because he thinks women are responsible for parenting the kids. How does his mother behave? BEcause that will tell you exactly what he expects from you.
So what to do? I would tell him that allowing his daughter to be rude to you is very unattractive and makes sex with him seem repugnant. Either he decides to parent his daughter and raise her to be respectful or he is on his own raising her. You are not cooking for someone who does not help out around the house. His 10 yr old helps out but his 15 yr old gets a pass because she is a snot? Or maybe her is scared she won't come and see him anymore.
The next time you are all going out she gets to go back to her mothers place. Sorry, no room for snotty teens.
This will get much worse before it gets much better. But form the sounds of things it is your SO you need to train.